Warning: Comedy - We need to invade Zimbabwe

Discussion in 'Community' started by alex_ant, Mar 26, 2003.

  1. alex_ant macrumors 68020

    alex_ant

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    #1
    If we're going to fight for democracy in Iraq, let's at least be consistent elsewhere. I've seen a lot of Hussein-Hitler comparisons that I've found questionable. But when we have a dictator who openly admits his love for the man and promises himself to be Hitler * 10, well, what the hell are we waiting for? **** the rest of the world - let's go in and bomb the **** out of this mother****er.

    http://allafrica.com/stories/200303260002.html
     
  2. Dont Hurt Me macrumors 603

    Dont Hurt Me

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    #2
    Hey ant lead the charge! Im sure he will make George's things to do list.
     
  3. leprechaunG4 macrumors member

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    #3
    If we were in Iraq for only that reason, and there wasn't a violated cease fire involved, then maybe your logic would hold. Since that is not the case, and you know that is not the case. I will just equate this thread to your typical flamebait, have a nice day.
     
  4. alex_ant thread starter macrumors 68020

    alex_ant

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    #4
    Come on, you know that's irrelevant. Bush could make some **** up about a ceasefire violation or whatever in an instant, even if it were nothing more than "We told him to surrender, and he didn't." Mugabe is already violating god knows how many pieces of international law.

    48 hours to leave the country, and then we go in. With 100,000 troops it would take about a week. Nobody would even notice with this war in Iraq going on.
     
  5. leprechaunG4 macrumors member

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    #5
    Ask Chirac if he wants to do it. If he grows a sac and starts wanting to enforce UN decisions then maybe somehting could happen.
     
  6. runningman macrumors regular

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    #6
    I think we should invade someplace nice where the weather is good like Jamaica.
     
  7. alex_ant thread starter macrumors 68020

    alex_ant

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    #7
    I think we already know what Chirac would do. That's why the responsibility is on US to do something.
     
  8. macfan macrumors member

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    Jan 2, 2003
    #8
    The weather's pretty good in Zimbabwe.

    alex,
    Get together a group of hired guns. They can capture the radio and tv station, the presidential residence, and the main army baracks, and that will be it.
     
  9. alex_ant thread starter macrumors 68020

    alex_ant

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    #9
    CUBA!!! Seriously, if we sent even a quarter of the force of the Marines, Air Force, Army, and Navy, it would take like 15 minutes to make that place the 51st state!
     
  10. alex_ant thread starter macrumors 68020

    alex_ant

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    #10
    Even YOU agree with me. Although I would prefer a little more destruction, as a show of force, I would settle for that.
     
  11. Rower_CPU Moderator emeritus

    Rower_CPU

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    #11
    Canadians have always pissed me off. They're always looking down on us from up there...

    And we know they wouldn't put up a fight.
     
  12. pivo6 macrumors 68000

    pivo6

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    #12
    There have been many interesting suggestions already. I suggest that instead of attacking Zimbabwe straight away, we should first list in order of preference who we should attack. I will start. ;)

    1. Cuba - keep it close to home
    2. Zimbabwe - sorry Alex for making it #2
    3.
    4.

    I can't support attacking Canada, mainly because my wife has too much family there.
     
  13. alex_ant thread starter macrumors 68020

    alex_ant

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    #13
    Well, sorry pivo, but Canada has to go as well, or at least whatever part of Canada those damned cold fronts come from. We can order an emergency evacuation first, though. Iran should be #3 because it's close to acquiring nuclear weapons, but North Korea isn't really a big deal because they already have them.

    Here is what I was thinking:

    1) Ourselves (to show the world we're CRAZY!!)
    2) Cuba
    3) Iran
    4) Zimbabwe
    5) Give that Wolfowitz man a raise!
    Whenever we get around to it) North Korea
     
  14. jelloshotsrule macrumors G3

    jelloshotsrule

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    #14
    what? iran???? why?

    it'd be more fun to punish france and germany and turkey for their lack of support in this war. and more importantly, their attempt to humiliate the infallible, superior, UNITED STATES of AMERICA!!!!
     
  15. vniow macrumors G4

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    #15
    Of course!

    No one must stand in the way of the future Pants Pissers party! Now in colorful flavors!
     
  16. runningman macrumors regular

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    Jan 8, 2003
    #16
    OHHHH Cuba good thought. Nice rum good cigars pretty beaches and pretty women. Very close to home you could damn well parasail there if you had half the fancy.
    We don't want to invade cananda to cold we already have north dakota. Though Toronto is nice.
    Now if you talk about invading canada that doesn't mean quebec does it?
     
  17. jelloshotsrule macrumors G3

    jelloshotsrule

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    #17
    pivo... let me warn you now.... we won't tolerate speaking against our wishes.... i only give you the warning cause i love chris farley, and from what i've read of your posts, you could be a part of our team.... but please, rethink your statement about canada. if not, you will be given 48 hours to leave your house and our country and then we will be forced to "disarm" you, as it were....

    and if you choose to take it back, welcome to the good/right side!
     
  18. macfan macrumors member

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    #18
    Forget attacking Canada. Just buy it. I think it can be had for 60 cents on the dollar.
     
  19. runningman macrumors regular

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    #19
    I don't know Pivo wife family in canada invasion happening. Sorry honey gotta stay home can't go visit the inlaws
     
  20. pivo6 macrumors 68000

    pivo6

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    #20
    Since my wife left Canada when she was one years old, and moved to the promised land... Kenosha, Wisconsin, and her parents now live in Arizona and have become citizens of this fine country, I hereby formally rescind my former statement and endorse the occupation of Canada.

    I will now begin plans to protect our Indian casinos from the new *enemy*.
     
  21. jelloshotsrule macrumors G3

    jelloshotsrule

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    #21
    yes!

    welcome... now, just piss your pants and you could very well be on the ticket in 2016... care to request a specific cabinet position? or should i just get drunk and choose one out of a hat? that's how i usually do it.... oh, and ale x_ant already has VP and secretary of state or defense. i forget which.

    let's also be clear about the taking of canada. we aren't just occupying. and we certainly wouldn't buy it.... no one would die that way. we are killing our way into power. if no blood is shed, we'll do it over until we get it right
     
  22. alex_ant thread starter macrumors 68020

    alex_ant

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    #22
    Robert Mugabe: You have no chance to survive make your time.
     

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  23. jelloshotsrule macrumors G3

    jelloshotsrule

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    #23
    i just pissed my pants at that picture

    outstanding.


    ps. who's robert mugabe and when does the killing start????
     
  24. pivo6 macrumors 68000

    pivo6

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    #24
    Thank You. Do I have to piss my pants, or can it be any other *trouser tragedy*? You can choose the position that you feel I'm best suited for. Can you give me the link to the party's platform? I couldn't find it. I would like to know what I believe in.
     
  25. pivo6 macrumors 68000

    pivo6

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    #25
    Nice graphic. Is that available for letterheads, bumperstickers etc.?
     

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