We love the brain too

Discussion in 'Community' started by mymemory, Aug 14, 2003.

  1. mymemory macrumors 68020

    mymemory

    Joined:
    May 9, 2001
    Location:
    Miami
    #1
    I'm taking a time to think about how to make a relationship between men and women better as a couple.

    One of the many things to talk about is what men really like about women. Men like different things in different levels and women give importance to some other things. Now, one thing is to find the balance and another thing is to understand what the other person wants from us.

    Today I had a discussion with my girlfriend, she couldn't understand my problem because of the problem itself... for me the brain is sexy too. Of course she doesn't get it yet but when one is young and you are building your life from zero there are many things to consider before the bottle of wine or the weekend in a remote island of the Caribbean.

    We men like girls with tridimensional minds, I realize that (and this may be very cultural) some women thinks that love is a service, like having the breakfast ready for you or cleaning the room for you, etc. For me is sexy too to see a pretty student that works at same time and is good doing both.

    I just wanted to point that out because some people may be facing the same situation. As one teacher told me once: in a relationship both partners have to be compatible psychologically, sexually, culturally, socially and some other things.

    Those are a few things to consider when choosing a partner, of course all of this takes time to find out but my bet is that there wouldn't be as many divorces if people will know with time what to expect from each other and how the environment can chance those relationships. When the economics are going down is necessary to understand that romance is not a need. One thing is love and another one is sex and romance. Love have so many faces and evolve and change, it grows and get small, some times is invisible or transparent, love mutate and we have to be prepare for that.

    Those are my 2 cents.
     
  2. mnkeybsness macrumors 68030

    mnkeybsness

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    Jun 25, 2001
    Location:
    Moneyapolis, Minnesota
  3. tazo macrumors 68040

    tazo

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2003
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest, Seattle, WA actually
    #3
    Didn't you start a thread like thos only a few days ago Mymemory? Something to the effect of women in the kitchen? :eek:
     
  4. shadowfax macrumors 603

    shadowfax

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2002
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    #4
    Re: We love the brain too

    this is not true at all. my parents are not compatible intellectually (psychologially), culturally, or socially. compatibility iisn't even necessarily helpful. in a culture that accepts divorce as a valid, desirable solution to petty disagreements, cultural compatibility does nothing to help a relationship. what's necessary to maintain a relationship is a view that love must be a commitment in addition to whatever else it is for you (e.g. sexual desire, intellectual interest, what not), and that whatever goes up and down in that love, commitment must not.

    interesting topic, except you had no clear point and the comment about "brains" was the least interesting thing yous said.
     
  5. FriarTuck macrumors 6502

    FriarTuck

    Joined:
    May 26, 2003
    Location:
    Chicago area
    #5
    I really need to know what the "some other things" are.

    ASAP
     
  6. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2003
    Location:
    Colly-fornia
    #6
    Opposites attract sometimes. My wife is easily my intellectual equal, but in a totally different area. She has an advanced degree in English Literature and loves nothing more than writhing deep thoughts of literary criticism involving 20+ page papers. I like dealing with structural issues of buildings, and the techno stuff that goes along with it. While she would write papers I would carefully build model after model and spend hours upon hours working in CAD. We would both occasionally say "I could never stand to do what you do." Of course we do have many other common interests as well, and common friends. I guess my best advice is to listen to your friends. If they can't stand your girl/boyfriend there's probably a reason. I was always the last to realize that someone sucked. My friends knew early on. I guess they are a little less biased, since they weren't the ones gettin some, but anyway. If you trust your friends, listen to what they say about your significant other. I knew I was in good shape when I started dating someone they liked to hang out with.
     
  7. shadowfax macrumors 603

    shadowfax

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    Sep 6, 2002
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    #7
    i like her too :) (literary criticism is cool stuff man)
     
  8. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2003
    Location:
    Colly-fornia
    #8
    Thanks. I love talking to her about it... it's just those damn papers that she writes. I run out of things to say after 10 pages or so.
     
  9. wdlove macrumors P6

    wdlove

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    #9
    I agree that opposities do attract. Life would be boring if both people were the same. You would never try anything new. I think that you grow in a realtionship. Compromise is needed!
     
  10. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

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    Apr 24, 2003
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    #10
    I think it's good when your partner has strengths in areas you don't, even when these differences cause conflict between you.
     
  11. mymemory thread starter macrumors 68020

    mymemory

    Joined:
    May 9, 2001
    Location:
    Miami
    #11
    Yeah, something like that.

    Damn it, this world doesn't need more differences to be interesting.

    I'm in the middle of a process, no way to tell anything else at this point, I'm just dealing with the turning point of women/ men relationship, just the point where poeple back up or keep going at their own risk.
     
  12. rhpenguin macrumors 6502a

    rhpenguin

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2003
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    #12
    A woman with a good head on her shoulders is more of a turn on than a woman with an oversized rack anyday. My last relationship was one of those relationships that probably should never have happened becuse me and my ex had no common interests and to be quite blunt she was intellectualy lacking compared to me which made conversation tough.

    But damn, she did look nice...
     
  13. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2003
    Location:
    Colly-fornia
    #13
    Ahh but a woman with a mind AND an oversized rack will do it every time. God, I should stop posting after margaritas.
     
  14. shadowfax macrumors 603

    shadowfax

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2002
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    #14
    ahhh, i dunno, i think disproportionately large mammary glands are repulsive. i do like a well-proportioned woman though... but honestly, it's the pretty eyes and cute smiles i favor the most, when it comes to aesthetics. for the record, chubby and anemic smiles are not cute, so the smile can and often does serve as a telling mark of a woman's physique as well as her personality :D
     
  15. Powerbook G5 macrumors 68040

    Powerbook G5

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2003
    Location:
    St Augustine, FL
    #15
    In many ways, my girlfriend and I are so different from one another in some very large ways. We both have different race and cultural background, we both think differently, we both have quite a few different tastes...and she's a vegetarian while I like pizza with every kind of dead animal you can cook up on it...sure, we have a few differences in thought at times, but these differences are what pulled me towards her and make her so interesting to me. It's great when you are with that person and you get so much from an experience due to their different personality. There is a lot we both share, but it's the things that we don't share that I love so much about her.
     
  16. jefhatfield Retired

    jefhatfield

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2000
    #16
    my ex gf had an advanced degree in english, too...but she seemed to think everybody else was an idiot when it came to speaking english...but i pointed out it's not the most well constructed language:p
     
  17. mrjamin macrumors 65816

    mrjamin

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2003
    Location:
    Strongbadia
    #17
    Re: We love the brain too


    which is why the greeks have 4 different words which mean different kinds of love:

    Agape: loving a person's spirit (personality etc)
    Eros: sexy love ;)
    Phileos: plutonic love
    Storge: parental love
     

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