When should I call back date?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by thewhitehart, Jan 15, 2007.

  1. thewhitehart macrumors 6502a

    thewhitehart

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2005
    Location:
    The town without George Bailey
    #1
    I went on a brilliant date last Monday that turned out very well. The woman seemed very happy and there were no awkward pauses over dinner - we talked without realizing the time passed by at all.

    I left her in the subway, and being polite, I turned to kiss her on the cheek, and she turned to kiss me. The date seemed perfect -

    So here's my problem. I gave her some time and called her on Thursday, leaving her a message asking if she wants to go out again. She hasn't called back, and it's Monday again! I'm not very good at reading women, but there was nothing wrong with this date at all, and I've been on some pretty bad ones. Should I call her back tomorrow? Is that enough time to wait? Does waiting this long on her part indicate that she doesn't want to see me again, or do I need to give her more time?
     
  2. iKwick7 macrumors 65816

    iKwick7

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Location:
    The Wood of Spots, NJ
    #2
    And I quote:

    "You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?

    Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious.

    But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you...

    ........

    Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?

    Six days."

    Such a great movie. :)

    Anyways, I'd say 2 days in between calls, maybe 3.

    And this whole "a women should never call a man" nonsense is absolutely stupid. That's why I think "dating" is soooo dumb.
     
  3. BoyBach macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2006
    Location:
    UK
    #3
    If you enjoyed yourself, why wait to phone her?

    Just phone and leave a message saying that you enjoyed yourself and would like to see her again.
     
  4. SuperCompu2 macrumors 6502a

    SuperCompu2

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2006
    Location:
    MA
    #4
    These topics never cease to amaze me.

    I'd say give it some more time, dont rush it at all. Maybe she's been tied up with something or isn't feeling well. You can't be sure, so the best thing to do is wait it out.

    If this girl wants anything to do with you, she'll return your call soon.
     
  5. heehee macrumors 68020

    heehee

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2006
    Location:
    Same country as Santa Claus
    #5
    I hate this "wait a certain number of days to call back a date" thing. IMO, if she likes you, it doesn't really matter how long you wait. If you like her, just call her again.

    BTW, I'm single. :p :eek:
     
  6. virus1 macrumors 65816

    virus1

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2004
    Location:
    LOST
    #6
    haha the three replies have had entirely different advice.

    2-3 days.
    dont wait.
    chill out.

    me? i will be honest. i havent the slightest idea. good luck though!
     
  7. iSaint macrumors 603

    iSaint

    Joined:
    May 26, 2004
    Location:
    South Mississippi y'all, near the water!
    #7
    If it were such such a great date you should have called the next day. I always called the next day.

    But, I've been out of the loop for nearly 19 years, so what do I know?! :p
     
  8. siurpeeman macrumors 603

    siurpeeman

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2006
    Location:
    the OC
    #8

    i actually agree; i would have called the next day. but call. now.
     
  9. furious macrumors 65816

    furious

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2006
    Location:
    Australia
    #9
    Midnight is always a good time to call someone. :p
     
  10. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #10
    I would have called her the next day as well and told her how much I enjoyed spending time with her.

    Why wait 2 days? I'd think it seems sweet if you can't wait to see her again. I also don't think it sounds desperate or anything. I think she'll take it as a good sign, actually.


    Abstract (NOT single)
     
  11. it5five macrumors 65816

    it5five

    Joined:
    May 31, 2006
    Location:
    New York
    #11
  12. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
  13. MACDRIVE macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #13
    Never call her unless she calls you. You're better than her.

    Wait until she comes crawling at your feet.
     
  14. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Location:
    CT
    #14
    ahaa, somehow I don't think that will work.
     
  15. achie25 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2005
    #15
    If it was a great date then you should call her he next day and tell her you had a great time and would like to do it again. Keep it short and sincere. That lets her know that you enjoyed yourself and are interested in her. Also it alleviates any questions she may have and also lets her know that you aren't into games.
    If you are into games and having the "power" or "control" then you will probably need to mature.

    It worked for me with my now wife. :)
     
  16. disconap macrumors 68000

    disconap

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2005
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    #16
    All this advice and rules and arghh. Just be yourself--if you feel like calling her, do it. If you feel like leaving six messages in one day, you're probably a stalker, but hey, be true to your nature. She'll call the cops if she feels threatened.
     
  17. islandman macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    #17
    Just go with your gut feeling, but the key is that you don't want to seem too eager or desperate. Since you called her already, just wait until she calls you back. If you can't wait, then give her another call and go from there. You'll know the answer.
     
  18. disconap macrumors 68000

    disconap

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2005
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    #18
    I disagree on the seeming desperate bit, only because I think it's best to be yourself from the get go. I mean, yeah, like the joke I was making, you don't want to be TOO eager, but that's for your benefit too.

    Sorry for being contrary, I just tend to live by the "do as thou whilst" philosophy.
     
  19. Jaffa Cake macrumors Core

    Jaffa Cake

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    Location:
    The City of Culture, Englandshire
    #19
    Just give the lass a call. After all this time she'll probably be thinking she's done something wrong! ;)
     
  20. SMM macrumors 65816

    SMM

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Location:
    Tiger Mountain - WA State
    #20
    Best advise - always be yourself and totally upfront. If you cannot be comfortable with the potential for rejection, do it with humor. Say something like, "Gee, it usually takes several dates for women to figure out how boring I really am. Did we meet before? (or something like that)". Have fun with it and do not stress.
     
  21. true777 macrumors 6502a

    true777

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2000
    Location:
    California, Austria, Arkansas
    #21
    Like others have said, call her! Just be yourself.
    Just say "I had a great time and I'd love to see you again if you'd like."
    Sincerity is key. I.e., say what you feel, not what you think you should be saying. You can totally say something like "I haven't heard from you in a while, but I wanted to tell you that I liked you a lot and would love to see you again", or something similar.

    If you *really* want to see her again and show her how serious you are about her, sugest something really nice and special that she won't refuse. E.g., say "I really liked you and had a great time with you, and if you'd like, I'd love to take you out to a nice restaurant later this week, perhaps Thursday or Friday? Call me back, ok?".

    *If* a girl is remotely interested in you -- or undecided but open to the idea --, she won't refuse an invitation to a nice restaurant, or something similarly serious and special. If there's a particularly desirable place (in a serious way; not a "cool spot"), just name it ("I'd like to take you out to XYZ"). That way, you tell her she's special, and you also sound decisive and like a guy who takes charge.

    If still no reply or some lame excuse, then she's not interested.

    Good luck!
     
  22. swingerofbirch macrumors 68030

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2003
    Location:
    The Amalgamated States of Central North America
    #22
    If this relationship is ever going to work you need to be honest with her. Say something like, "When you ignore my phone messages, I feel like you're ignoring me."

    If you let this issue fester and bring it up later, she'll say, "Well why didn't you say something earlier?" And she'll have a good point.

    So just call her and say that you're dissapointed that you haven't heard back and even if she doesn't want to date you she should have the decency to tell you that in person, not by ignoring a phone call.

    If she doesn't respond to the second call, my book of etiquette says that you should not call a third time (insanity is repeating the same action and expecting different results). Instead stand outside her building or house and wait till she gets home, so you force her not to ignore you. Then confront her about her behavior and how it's not working toward a healthful relationship.
     
  23. j26 macrumors 65832

    j26

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Location:
    Paddyland
    #23
    Call her incessantly - at least 30 times a day and leave messages asking why she hasn't called back.

    In a few days she or, her lawyer, or the police will contact you. You can then aske her for another date.


    Believe me, it'll work.
     
  24. shecky Guest

    shecky

    Joined:
    May 24, 2003
    Location:
    Obviously you're not a golfer.
    #24
    you should also be sure to leave her a lot of messages letting her know when you guys are meeting with the catering company you are thinking about using for the wedding, and that you think its high time in the relationship that both sets of parents meet.

    girls love that.
     
  25. vouder17 macrumors 6502a

    vouder17

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2003
    Location:
    Home
    #25
    I just hope for you that you get the police, cos them lawyers can be a-class a**holes. they called last time, and it was not at all pleasant.
     

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