Why... (do I always end up as a girl's friend)

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by TSE, Jun 20, 2009.

  1. TSE
    macrumors 68030

    TSE

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Location:
    St. Paul, Minnesota
    #1
    ... do I always end up as a girl's friend, rather than a girl's boyfriend...?

    Sigh...
     
  2. macrumors P6

    dukebound85

    Joined:
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    #2
    do you do day dates?

    you have to make it a point to let her know you are interested romatically.

    ask her to go do something solo, not a group thing

    be the man, have a plan, and impress

    be a gentleman
     
  3. Moderator emeritus

    r.j.s

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  4. macrumors 601

    Schtumple

    Joined:
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    #4
    Because you hesitate to tell the girl your feelings for her because you're worried that she won't have the same feelings, which, from the girls perspective, (if she does have feelings for you), you not saying anything makes her think that you want to be just friends.

    I'm guessing you're a teenager, if true, suck it up, life isn't that hard.

    If not, go to clubs, get hammered, try and remember what happened the following morning, chances are, it would've been good.

    /thread.
     
  5. macrumors 6502

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Cleveland, OH
    #5
    You've been friendzoned!

    When you meet a girl, the 2nd thing out of your mouth, after your name, is to ask the girl on a date. I'm not even kidding. Girls and women will make up their mind if they want to date you 2 seconds after you open your mouth.
     
  6. macrumors 603

    Tomorrow

    Joined:
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    #6
    +1 - this really is a case of "move it or lose it." The friendzone is tough.
     
  7. TSE
    thread starter macrumors 68030

    TSE

    Joined:
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    Location:
    St. Paul, Minnesota
    #7
    Any ideas on how to get out of the friendzone?
     
  8. macrumors 6502

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    #8
    It cannot be done. Sorry.

    Besides, why would you want to go out with a girl that doesn't want to go out with you? Don't place her above you.
     
  9. macrumors P6

    dukebound85

    Joined:
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    #9
    well depends on the girl. dont become infatuated

    ive dated a few girls after being friends for like 4 years

    just gotta be yourself. ask her out now. if not you wont have a chance
     
  10. TSE
    thread starter macrumors 68030

    TSE

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Location:
    St. Paul, Minnesota
    #10
    Okay I think I'm giving up on this one.

    The past three girls I have asked out told me they just want to be friends.

    Should I just ask out the next girl I meet that I think has potential right away?
     
  11. macrumors 6502

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Cleveland, OH
    #11
    Friends is code for "no."

    Yes!
     
  12. TSE
    thread starter macrumors 68030

    TSE

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Location:
    St. Paul, Minnesota
    #12
    ok i'll try it.

    I figured early on that I wanted a meaningful relationship, one that lasts like 2 years so I have been super nice and tried to become "best guy friends" with a couple girls for a few years and figured I would ask them out once we were super close friends so it would last longer but it never even began.
     
  13. macrumors 6502

    Joined:
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    #13
    You become "friends" with your girl after you date to have a meaningful relationship.

    Capt Crunch's guide to dating:

    1 - Find someone who fits your physical standards
    2 - Walk up and say, "Hi, I'm _________."
    3 - If she doesn't sound like a asthmatic donkey screaming obscenities, then say, "I'd like to take you out to lunch. Would you like to?"
    4a - If she says, "I'd like to be friends" then say, "ok" and leave. Figure out why she said no. Was it her problem? F her. Was it your problem? Fix it. Return to step 1.
    4b - If she says, "OMG YES!" Then congrats! You're in! Take her to lunch and woo her with your charm.
    5 - Now is the point where you ask if you give a rats ass about this person. Is she good? Good enough for you?
    6a - If not, dump her and return to step 1.
    6b - If she is, treat her right, demand that she treat you right, get married, buy a house, and have lots of babies.
     
  14. TSE
    thread starter macrumors 68030

    TSE

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Location:
    St. Paul, Minnesota
    #14
    Okay thanks I will remember that.

    The only problem I have ever really had was with meeting up with girls that I know absolutely nothing about. Like, at the mall there are always attractive girls, but how do I approach them???
     
  15. macrumors 6502

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    #15
    That's a good question. I don't really think there is a good way to ask girls at the mall, just like there's no good way to ask girls at the gym. Easiest places to meet girls are at school. Your classes, your friend's classes, the library, the dining hall, etc.
     
  16. macrumors 68020

    Chappers

    Joined:
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    Location:
    At home
    #16
    Cut being Mister Nice Guy and if a girl likes you - she will let you know.

    It doesn't mean that you should be nasty but actually be a bit more stand-offish. A guy who appears desperate and "nice" is gonna remain single.
     
  17. macrumors 6502

    conch575

    Joined:
    May 29, 2009
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    #17
    Thats the exact same thing that always happens with me! Except, the other way around. I dunno either, I think I'm not a bad looking girl, I'm nice and normal. Why??

    Meh, I guess we just gotta try harder.
     
  18. macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
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    London, UK
    #18
    Depends on the situation. I was in a girls friendzone once, although I didn't want to be, but little did I know it that she was also a bit peeved to be in my friendzone.

    Anyway, long story short, we've been together for 4 years now, and are much closer than we would've been if we had skipped the 'friends' part.
     
  19. macrumors 6502

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    #19
    Of course there are exceptions to every rule, I'm glad it worked out for you!
     
  20. macrumors regular

    agl82

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  21. macrumors 6502

    Joined:
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    #21
    He might have a better shot at a Dungeons and Dragons gathering, or perhaps a Star Trek convention.
     
  22. macrumors 6502

    Joined:
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    #22
    I lke your style but would say that lunch is perhaps a bit ambiguous - a girl will probably have lunch with a guy without assuming that he fancies her. Most girls I know/have known will never say 'I'd like to be friends' until you have at least asked them out on a proper date. As for the last part of your step 4a, how is he supposed to do that if he can't even get her out on a date :confused:

    I dunno, I guess the guys are figuring out how to ask you out on a date by posting questions on internet forums...
     
  23. macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

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  24. macrumors 6502

    ecstasy

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2009
    #24
    Contrary to what Capt Crunch said, it is possible to get out of the friend zone.

    But the chances are very, very slim. If you really want to put the time and effort in this, you better make sure it's worth it.

    In a more realistic perspective, leave her behind and go for somebody else.
     
  25. macrumors 68000

    iToaster

    Joined:
    May 3, 2007
    Location:
    In front of my MacBook Pro
    #25
    By far the easiest thing to do, from my perspective at least, is to just tell her you think there's potential for the relationship to go beyond just friends and ask her opinion, though you have to phrase it correctly. It worked for me.

    It's probably worth mentioning that what works for one person doesn't always work for another.
     

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