About Moms

Discussion in 'Community' started by swanny, Feb 15, 2005.

  1. swanny macrumors regular


    Nov 12, 2004
    "About Moms"
    02-15-05, 12:05 pm (PDT)
    Kids Answers

    Regarding Mothers

    The following are different answers given by school-age children to these questions:

    Why did God make mothers?

    1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

    2. Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.

    3. Mostly to clean the house.

    4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

    How did God make mothers?

    1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

    2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

    3. He made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

    Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?

    1. We're related.

    2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

    What ingredients are mothers made of?

    1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world, and one dab of mean.

    2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

    What kind of little girl was your Mom?

    1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.

    2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

    3. They say she used to be nice.

    How did your Mom meet your dad?

    1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

    What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?

    1. His last name.

    2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

    Why did your Mom marry your dad?

    1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

    2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

    3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

    What makes a real woman?

    1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

    Who's the boss at your house?

    1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dads such a goofball.

    2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

    3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

    What's the difference between moms and dads?

    1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.

    2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

    3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that's who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

    What does your Mom do in her spare time?

    1. Mothers don't do spare time.

    2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

    What's the difference between moms and grandmas?

    1. About 30 years.

    2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don't even have bread on them!

    Describe the world's greatest Mom?

    1. She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!

    2. The greatest Mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my fat aunts!

    3. She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

    Is anything about your Mom perfect?

    1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.

    2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.

    3. Just her children

    What would it take to make your Mom perfect?

    1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
    plastic surgery.

    2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye-it, maybe blue.

    If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

    1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

    2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister
    who did it and not me.

    Compliments of the web
  2. jsw Moderator emeritus


    Mar 16, 2004
    Andover, MA
    :) Pretty good. I'd be interested in a "Dad" version.
  3. maya macrumors 68040


    Oct 7, 2004
    somewhere between here and there.
    The Mom and Dad answers are funny. :)

  4. dPratt macrumors member

    Aug 16, 2004
    Knoxville, TN
  5. swanny thread starter macrumors regular


    Nov 12, 2004

    Perhaps some "synchro" .....my father sent it to me

    I like the one kid saying what a goofball his dad was
    geez I wasn't even allowed to "think" that
    now kids don't believe everything you see on
    tv commercials.......most dads are just ..... well dads
    now then there's homer simpson.....
    now he obviously is..... well.... been effected by
    nuclear radiation..... see.... what it does to you....
  6. Eevee macrumors 6502a


    Aug 10, 2004
    New Haven, CT
    That was great! My wife would love it.

    What does your Mom do in her spare time?
    1. Mothers don't do spare time.
    2. she pays bills all day long.

    My wife is so exhausted from taking care of Eevee (my daughter, hence the MR name), the bills and me (playing Halo against 8 year olds online too much). But we both want another child soon. So, she has to take care of three kids then! Definitely no more spare time!
  7. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

    Jul 4, 2004


  8. wordmunger macrumors 603


    Sep 3, 2003
    North Carolina
    My kids have a different kind of mom: one who leaves home every day to go to her job (she's a professor at Davidson College). My kids, of course, thought all the kids had moms just like their mom.

    When our kids were younger, my wife had to explain to them that not all moms had jobs like hers -- some of them stayed at home and cooked and cleaned and took care of the house.

    My son's response: "But where are their labs?"
  9. virividox macrumors 601


    Aug 19, 2003
    Manila - Nottingham - Philadelphia - Santa Barbar
    haha my mom would love this, i think ill send her the link
  10. Diatribe macrumors 601


    Jan 8, 2004
    Back in the motherland
    Classics. So funny. Thanks for sharing.
  11. wdlove macrumors P6


    Oct 20, 2002
    Very reminiscence of the Art Linkletter show "Kid's Say The Darndest Things." The voice of innocence, jut to say whatever comes to mind. :)
  12. chanoc macrumors 6502


    May 20, 2003
    Anchorage, Alaska USA
    Well if the meme was passed to children whom think god exists. I am sorry kids if something that does not exist made your mom, well then your mom does not exist either. Sleep tight! :p
  13. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Sep 19, 2002
    Los Angeles
    Now just why did my wife laugh the most when I read this one to her? :( :(
  14. absolut_mac macrumors 6502a


    Oct 30, 2003
    Dallas, Texas
    Thanks for posting.

    Here's a tribute that I send out to all the Mom's I know on Mothers Day. And no I didn't write it, my sister emailed it to me a few years ago.

    When G-d made Moms:

    By the time the Lord made mothers He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and asked, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?” And the Lord answered and said “Have you seen the specs on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.”

    The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. “Six pairs of hands! No way!” Said the Angel. The Lord replied, “Oh, it’s not the hands that are the problem. It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!”

    “And that’s just on the standard model?” The Angel asked. The Lord nodded in agreement, “Yep, one pair of eyes to see through the closed doors as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word.”

    The Angel tried to stop the Lord. “This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

    “But I can’t!” The Lord protested, “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and get a nine year old to stand in the shower.” The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, “But you have made her so soft, Lord.”

    “She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

    “Will she be able to think?” asked the Angel. The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.” The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

    “That’s not a leak.” The Lord objected. “That’s a tear”

    “What’s the tear for?” the Angel asked. The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride.”

    The Angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything, for WOMEN are truly amazing.”
  15. swanny thread starter macrumors regular


    Nov 12, 2004

    This is very nice....


    sir swanny
  16. themadchemist macrumors 68030


    Jan 31, 2003
    Chi Town
    Thanks for the post, swanny! It brought a smile to my face.

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