Any other straight couples holding out for marriage equality?

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Mr. Chewbacca, Jul 11, 2011.

  1. Mr. Chewbacca macrumors 6502a

    Mr. Chewbacca

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    #1
    My girlfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. We were waiting on her to finish her PhD before we got married but as that gets closer the idea of marriage is just not that attractive anymore.

    We have a lot of friends that are gay and one couple in particular has been together for 15 years. According to the law their relationship is less valid than a drunk 18 year old joined together with someone they met that night by an Elvis impersonating reverend. Its hard for me to grasp the fact that even today people are fighting for basic civil rights. I’m getting disgusted with the way people are defining marriage and don’t think I want to be a part of it as it is now defined. I know this seems dramatic but to me it’s almost like drinking out of the white fountain.

    To be fair we are not having kids so we don’t have as much pressure but so far every straight person I have told this to has reacted with actual anger.

    So, anyone else doing the same thing or at least agree? I have been kinda shocked at the overwhelming negative reactions I have gotten to this.
     
  2. Plymouthbreezer macrumors 601

    Plymouthbreezer

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    #2
    Move to Massachusetts, we've had same-sex marriages since '04!
     
  3. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #3
    I personally would not be holding out if I was ready for marriage
     
  4. Mr. Chewbacca thread starter macrumors 6502a

    Mr. Chewbacca

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    #4
    Not to take anything from the states, that is cool but unless the federal laws are changed to protect it they can always repeal it and there will always be people trying to do it.

    It was legal in Oregon for a short time, I think.


    I guess we can be domestic partners. If its good enough for them… hold on…. Just changed my Facebook status… now its official :D
     
  5. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    You're welcome to do it, but you're not speeding up same-sex marriage legislation by not getting married.
     
  6. Mr. Chewbacca thread starter macrumors 6502a

    Mr. Chewbacca

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    #6
    Didn’t think it would. Its not like I'm forwarding an email or changing my Facebook pic in protest. I actually send money to various charities including ones that fight for equality. This is not part of actively trying to change anything, sending money is.

    Not getting married is more my own feelings of being uncomfortable with being a part of the “institution of marriage” than holding back on something I want in protest.
     
  7. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    I'm sure you know this, but if one of you has a job with benefits you could save some money on health care by being married. And hey.. Extra money! :D
     
  8. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #8
    Ah- that makes sense. I was trying to figure out why people were doing it before.
     
  9. 184550 Guest

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    #9
    All a part of guilt/ desire to feel like they're making a difference without having to actually do anything.
     
  10. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #10
    Sounds like the OP is doing something if you'd take the time to read the posts. But hey, why let that get in the way of a good slam? :rolleyes:
     
  11. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

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    #11
    Except for those that are using it as a mask, to avoid commitment.
     
  12. 184550 Guest

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    #12
    I did and I wasn't referencing the OP. You used a general term, 'people', hence I thought that you were refering to 'people' who didn't get married out of some imagined sense of solidarity. But hey, why let that get in the way of a good assumption? :rolleyes:
     
  13. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #13
    Well, forgive me for assuming you'd followed your normal MO.

    Let's face it, that was not the most helpful post. The OP clarified for me why many people do it, and from what I've seen, it's people who do a lot of other things for us as well, like, oh I don't know: donate money to the cause, speak out and then vote for politicians who are pro equality as well. But no, that's not doing anything at all. It's just symbolism, right?
     
  14. 184550 Guest

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    #14
    Let me know when that gets you anywhere, will you?
     
  15. kavika411 macrumors 6502a

    kavika411

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    #15
    You know, it's not that difficult to apologize when you misread someone's post and wrongly jump them, as opposed to doubling down with a "followed your normal MO" comment.
     
  16. 184550 Guest

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    #16
    Eh, I'd do the same thing as Lee if the shoe were on the other foot.
     
  17. kavika411 macrumors 6502a

    kavika411

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    #17
    Then you two make a good couple.

    Sorry. Freudian slip.
     
  18. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

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    #18
    Yes, your slip is definitely showing.
     
  19. 184550 Guest

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    #19
    I don't think I'm Lee's type. :p

    Though in certain circumstances we might be. See Post 71
     
  20. Mr. Chewbacca thread starter macrumors 6502a

    Mr. Chewbacca

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    #20
    I'm sure some people will think that but thats not the case with me. I love her more and more every day, as far as I'm concerned she is already my wife and has been for years. Plenty of other things tie us together legally and emotionally .

    I want to share something special with her and I don't feel marriage is special any more. I feel its tarnished. I have been listening to people spewing hate, insisting that marriage is not about love, its about how the bible wants it to be.

    This is not a protest and I don't think any change would come from it unless a LOT of people start doing the same. I want a marriage I can feel good about. Maybe we will make up our own. Something creative :)
     
  21. codymac macrumors 6502

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    #21
    Waves.
    :)

    Depending on where you are, this statement alone may legally make her your wife. Check the common-law marriage stuff for your area.
     
  22. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #22
    Let's see- in the past few years it's gotten us:

    Marriage in NY
    Civil unions in my home state
    The end of DADT
    The most likely death of DOMA.

    Let me know when to stop, nathan. It's gotten us quite far in the last few years.

    And you're right- defeatists are not my type. Your true colors are showing.
     
  23. Plymouthbreezer macrumors 601

    Plymouthbreezer

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    #23
    True, but with the stuff that Lee just mentioned, do you really think we – as a nation – will head back in that direction?
     
  24. leekohler, Jul 11, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2011

    leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #24
    It certainly could. You may believe it's unthinkable, but it's not. Do not underestimate people like Michele Bachmann, especially during a bad economy. If she could fix the economy, do you really think anyone would care about us if we were the casualty? If she made everything "better" at the cost to us, who would really care?

    When AIDS hit in the early 80s, we were well on our way to equality. We were sent back to the 50s because of that. People lost their jobs just because they were gay.

    I'm pretty sure that if a Republican gets the presidency this next election that we will see a war on gay people that we have never seen before.

    All they have to do is convince some weak minded independents.
     
  25. Mr. Chewbacca thread starter macrumors 6502a

    Mr. Chewbacca

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    #25
    I am optimistic enough to say not entirely. Their will be wins and losses but the overall trend will likely be progressive. I am proud to be around during so much positive change and even more proud to be a small part of it.

    I also believe the reason for that is people remaining persistent. We cant just say "OK good enough" at least not yet. Hopefully over time we will just keep getting better.
     

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