Apple buys IBM

kainjow

Moderator emeritus
Original poster
Jun 15, 2000
7,745
3
I have a good friend who works at Apple and knows some inside information. He told me that Apple is looking into a possible buyout of IBM. Although the opposite has been anticipated much more, it looks as though this might be true. More info later...

:)

:)

:)

:)

:)
 

Nipsy

macrumors 65816
Jan 19, 2002
1,009
0
Yeah....

...and I, personally, am cashing out my checking account and buying AOL Time Warner.

Two words:
Market Capitalization
 

Gelfin

macrumors 68020
Sep 18, 2001
2,166
4
Denver, CO
Actually I'm not supposed to tell anyone this, but both Steve and Lou Gerstner told me personally that Apple and IBM are both being bought out by Amiga, Inc.
 

Taft

macrumors 65816
Jan 31, 2002
1,319
0
Chicago
Join me!

I'm planning a buyout of Microsoft if anyone is interested. Because the number of investors in this venture does not need to be large, I'll be going over candidates and picking those who will be suitable promenant shareholders. Please send your qualifications and potential capital contribution figures to:

Hopelessly Naive Holdings
674 W Sunnyside
Dreamland, NY 55555

I mean how expensive can Microsoft be, right?

Matthew
 

irmongoose

macrumors 68030
Re: Join me!

Originally posted by mrtrumbe
I'm planning a buyout of Microsoft if anyone is interested. Because the number of investors in this venture does not need to be large, I'll be going over candidates and picking those who will be suitable promenant shareholders. Please send your qualifications and potential capital contribution figures to:

Hopelessly Naive Holdings
674 W Sunnyside
Dreamland, NY 55555

I mean how expensive can Microsoft be, right?

Matthew

oh yeha, sure, count me in.

:p



irmongoose
 

rt_brained

macrumors 6502a
Jan 13, 2002
554
0
Creativille
Okay, I wasn't gonna say anything about this, but...

Bill and I were at this bar a couple weeks ago, and we were joking around about how we could drink each other under the table. Well, about a half-dozen shots later, we're kinda getting a good buzz going, right? Bill looks at me with this kind of beady-eyed look, you know? Not like his regular beady-eye look, but more sinister. Anyway, he says to me, "Dude, If I lose, you can HAVE Microsoft." I'm like whoa, dude, you're trippin'. And he says, "No dude, I'm serious. I am soooo friggin tired of all this lawsuit BS, the government gettin' all in my s**t. I want out, dude...seriously." "And my wife too. Take her. I just want to take some time off. Retire maybe. Buy South America and retire."

So I'm like, "You're on, man. But you're gonna regret it."

A couple hours later, Gates is passed out. So I figure I'm the new head of Microsoft now, right? So the first thing I did was bought everyone a round to celebrate. It felt good, you know? A while passes and he's still out like a light. So I toss him the keys to my Dodge and snatch the keys to his Mercedes and head home...to my new home.

The next day, he calls me and says, "Hey dude, I was just kidding about that handing over Microsoft s**t." Needless to say, I'm kinda bummed at this point. I mean, I had a pedicure scheduled for later and had already sent the plane over to Japan to pick up some sushi for dinner.

The way I figure it, a deal's a deal. My word is my bond. And I think Bill should be held to the same standard. As far as I'm concerned, Microsoft should be mine. I had big plans. I had sushi on the way.

I was thinking about getting a lawyer, but...you know, Bill's a friend. An Indian giver yeah, but a friend. I guess on the plus side I got the chance to live the life of a multi-bizzilionaire for a day. But if you asked me, it's not really all it's cracked up to be. Family always calling asking for money. Every ten minutes a lawyer's calling about some BS lawsuit thing. And you know the weirdest thing of all...you know his wife?

Fembot. Yeah...never could get her going for nothin'. Not even a little handy.
 

jvaska

macrumors 6502
Feb 18, 2002
432
18
Haiti/NYC
oh crap...i said something smarmy but somebody beat me to it...do i ever feel stupid for not reading the entire thread closely enough...argh...jv
 

oldMac

macrumors 6502a
Oct 25, 2001
522
1
Fembot issues...

Did you run Windows update?

If she needed to be patched, be careful. She might have some kind of virus.
 

jefhatfield

Retired
Jul 9, 2000
8,803
0
in the nineties, that would have been plausible since they were the biggest joke ever seen in the history of high tech during those years

one of the most common statements was, "buy ibm compatibles, but don't buy ibm's"

people who boughy ibm equipment in a business setting implementation in those days short circuited their careers and got strung up by the (you know what) and kicked out of the valley

one famous ceo got fired right on the spot

but ibm is much better these days and is neck and neck with dell on pc rating charts for their gear

of course, apple is on a different standard;)
 

KingArthur

macrumors regular
Jun 15, 2001
236
0
Marion, Ohio
What a JOKE!

Pertaining to the first post:
Apple couldn't buy out IBM if hell froze over and Microsoft went under. IBM is more powerful than even the demi-god Microsoft. They have a foothold in every aspect of the technology world: usually the company behind the scenes that keeps everyone else running. Believe me, either you are the most gullable person in the world for a bad joke, or your friend is plain stupid.

I must say, though. My friend and I had a good laugh!
 

jefhatfield

Retired
Jul 9, 2000
8,803
0
Re: What a JOKE!

Originally posted by KingArthur
Pertaining to the first post:
Apple couldn't buy out IBM if hell froze over and Microsoft went under. IBM is more powerful than even the demi-god Microsoft. They have a foothold in every aspect of the technology world: usually the company behind the scenes that keeps everyone else running. Believe me, either you are the most gullable person in the world for a bad joke, or your friend is plain stupid.

I must say, though. My friend and I had a good laugh!
on the point where you say ibm is strong because of behind the scenes computing, you are right on the money...or should i say ibm is right on the money

but to say that ibm is stronger than microsoft...i am a microsoft techie...that is worse than saying apple could afford to buy ibm

here is why...microsoft spends a dollar and gets back $1.31...on a rare occassion ibm makes a NET profit...lou gerstner cooked a few numbers by laying off a lot a people to make ibm look good, but not by selling stuff...ibm had to cut out their retail pc division...once their powerhouse or cashcow...don't get me wrong, ibm is far, far, far more powerful than apple but they don't call microsoft the "evil empire" for no reason

ibm is spread thin, microsoft has leverage and some senators even say the word...monopoly

and for the record, i am not a fan of mr. gates, i am a fan of apple

repeat...apple inc all the way
 

KingArthur

macrumors regular
Jun 15, 2001
236
0
Marion, Ohio
You may be right about how much money the two make, but I think that it would take much more to unroot the term IBM from society than microsoft. Also, IBM does have a much stronger research division than Microsoft does, and it would not be advantageous for ANY company to attempt to take over IBM. IBM has more allies I would bet than Microsoft ever had. IBM also has a share in not only the software (including server operating system) market, but also in the hardware markets from in not only the computer market. That is why I meant that IBM is more powerful. A company is only as powerful as its strongest ally, which microsoft has few of.

Do not be ashamed of being a microsoft techie: Microsoft is not ALL bad, just most of it. Gates himself owns a dominating share of AAPL stock (which is probably what keeps Apple alive), so I will not shun him COMPLETELY.