Are there actual bi people?

waloshin

macrumors 68040
Original poster
Oct 9, 2008
3,168
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Are there actual bisexual people?

- If people where true bisexual would they not have a hard time keeping a relationship with a single man or women? Would they not lust the same or opposite sex?

- Now i know that your thinking a straight man in a relationship might lust other women, but i believe that ^ is a bit different.

- Bisexuals are they just bi curious no matter what sexual orientation they are?

* Anyways i have no problem with the sexual orientation of anybody, I am not trying to hurt anyone, or offend anyone.
 

Heilage

macrumors 68030
May 1, 2009
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If you're not trying to offend anyone, try not to portrait bisexuals as sluts unable to be faithful.


As for the question itself, if one can like the same or opposite sex, it makes sense that one can like both too.
 

anjinha

macrumors 604
Oct 21, 2006
7,271
62
San Francisco, CA
Yes, there are bi people. Actually most people aren't 100% straight or 100% gay.

Why would someone who is bi and in a relationship lust more for someone else than a straight person in a straight relationship? You say it's not the same, but why?

I don't get your last question.
 

bradl

macrumors 601
Jun 16, 2008
4,006
11,823
Are there actual bisexual people?
Yes, there are.

- If people where true bisexual would they not have a hard time keeping a relationship with a single man or women? Would they not lust the same or opposite sex?
Bisexuality has nothing to do with fidelity, nor the want or need to act out on someone they are in a relationship with. It means that they are attracted to people of both sexes. It does not mean that they must have or must want both at the same time.

- Now i know that your thinking a straight man in a relationship might lust other women, but i believe that ^ is a bit different.
See above about fidelity. A bisexual man might lust after another man or another woman, but if they are monogamous or in a committed relationship, the point is moot. They would stay with their partner for whatever reasons they have.

- Bisexuals are they just bi curious no matter what sexual orientation they are?
Bisexuals are exactly that. They are attracted to and have no qualms with having sex with either gender.

* Anyways i have no problem with the sexual orientation of anybody, I am not trying to hurt anyone, or offend anyone.
No.. It sounds like you're asking honest questions and are just wanting more information. It is when personal preferences and fears/paranoias because of <insert reason here> come into play, that the crazies come out.

BL.
 

skunk

macrumors G4
Jun 29, 2002
11,745
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Republic of Ukistan
Why would you imagine that, because a person might be equally comfortable having a sexual experience with either gender, they would automatically be less able than heterosexuals or homosexuals to control themselves?
 

gibbz

macrumors 68030
May 31, 2007
2,691
91
I have a good friend who is bi. Frankly it doesn't matter. Whomever makes her happy should be the end goal. If it is a man, great If it is a woman, awesome.

The fact is, as pointed out, most are actually attracted in some form the same sex at some point and in some manner.
 

waloshin

macrumors 68040
Original poster
Oct 9, 2008
3,168
66
Yes, there are bi people. Actually most people aren't 100% straight or 100% gay.

Why would someone who is bi and in a relationship lust more for someone else than a straight person in a straight relationship? You say it's not the same, but why?

I don't get your last question.
Yeah I guess the last question doesn't work, it can only work if Bisexuality isn't an actual sexuality because therefor there would only be Heterosexuality and Homosexuality.
 

skunk

macrumors G4
Jun 29, 2002
11,745
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Republic of Ukistan
Yeah I guess the last question doesn't work, it can only work if Bisexuality isn't an actual sexuality because therefor there would only be Heterosexuality and Homosexuality.
As anjinhamarota points out, sexuality is a spectrum, not a binary phenomenon. Most of us find ourselves attracted to people of either gender at some point, but self-image, social convention, peer pressure or the desire for a simple life make us reject those feelings in favour of a less ambivalent orientation.
 

opinioncircle

macrumors 6502a
May 17, 2009
500
0
If you're not trying to offend anyone, try not to portrait bisexuals as sluts unable to be faithful.


As for the question itself, if one can like the same or opposite sex, it makes sense that one can like both too.
Where is the offense? People need to quit this politically correct BS. Yes, the OP makes points that people who are not bisexual may wonder about. It ain't offensive...
 

leekohler

macrumors G5
Dec 22, 2004
14,162
19
Chicago, Illinois
Yes, there are bi people. My first BF was bi.

I find the fascination with monogamy in this country strange though. I've been in monogamous and open relationships, and by far the best ones were open. So if I ever dated someone who was bi again, they would be free to sleep with whoever they wanted, as long as they were safe. A relationship should not be a jail cell.
 

mkrishnan

Moderator emeritus
Jan 9, 2004
29,641
12
Grand Rapids, MI, USA
I find the fascination with monogamy in this country strange though.
It's really not just "this country," though... humans fall into a continuum of mating behaviors among animals, but we fall fairly towards the monogamous side of the spectrum. I think it's great if there's more support for open relationships for people who want them, but some of us just aren't wired that way, and we end up being the ones who get hurt in the process, if people just act like fidelity "isn't natural."

That being said, bisexuals, especially bisexual men, face a lot of antipathy from society here (I think women and men face different prejudices... when men are bisexual here, it's viewed as indecent, but when women are bisexual, people tend to act with the expectation that their encounters with other women exist for the purpose of gratifying heterosexual men, rather than themselves).

That certainly tempers what we can even know about their sexuality, since many of them can't feel comfortable talking about what they actually think.
 

leekohler

macrumors G5
Dec 22, 2004
14,162
19
Chicago, Illinois
It's really not just "this country," though... humans fall into a continuum of mating behaviors among animals, but we fall fairly towards the monogamous side of the spectrum. I think it's great if there's more support for open relationships for people who want them, but some of us just aren't wired that way, and we end up being the ones who get hurt in the process, if people just act like fidelity "isn't natural."

That being said, bisexuals, especially bisexual men, face a lot of antipathy from society here (I think women and men face different prejudices... when men are bisexual here, it's viewed as indecent, but when women are bisexual, people tend to act with the expectation that their encounters with other women exist for the purpose of gratifying heterosexual men, rather than themselves).

That certainly tempers what we can even know about their sexuality, since many of them can't feel comfortable talking about what they actually think.
Hey- people can do what they want. But for myself, I find the whole notion of fidelity and "cheating" to be useless. For god's sake, sex with one person, no matter how much you love them, gets boring after a time. Ain't nothin' wrong getting something else once in a while, as long as you're honest about it.
 

Tomorrow

macrumors 604
Mar 2, 2008
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Always a day away
Why would someone who is bi and in a relationship lust more for someone else than a straight person in a straight relationship? You say it's not the same, but why?
Unless he's arguing that if you're bisexual, there could theoretically be twice as many temptations out there - but yeah, either you control your urges or you don't. I don't see how your sexual orientation makes that any different.

Ain't nothin' wrong getting something else once in a while, as long as you're honest about it.
And as long as you're partner's okay with it.
 

niuniu

macrumors 68020
Hey- people can do what they want. But for myself, I find the whole notion of fidelity and "cheating" to be useless. For god's sake, sex with one person, no matter how much you love them, gets boring after a time. Ain't nothin' wrong getting something else once in a while, as long as you're honest about it.
Yep it gets boring after a while, or in some cases, pretty soon. But relationships are more than sex. And for most people, it's not worth hurting your partner just to get laid with a new bit of meat. Don't get me wrong I'd love to call up Lucy Liu.
 

leekohler

macrumors G5
Dec 22, 2004
14,162
19
Chicago, Illinois
And as long as you're partner's okay with it.
Of course.

Yep it gets boring after a while, or in some cases, pretty soon. But relationships are more than sex. And for most people, it's not worth hurting your partner just to get laid with a new bit of meat. Don't get me wrong I'd love to call up Lucy Liu.
Christ! Does no one understand what I'm saying? I'm not saying go run around and lie to your partner.
 

dmr727

macrumors G3
Dec 29, 2007
8,621
22
NYC
Christ! Does no one understand what I'm saying? I'm not saying go run around and lie to your partner.
I think I understand. I have some work buddies that are in open marriages, and from a purely rational standpoint, I understand why. Unfortunately I'm not a purely rational person, and if my wife had sex with another man, I'd be devastated (and vice versa). The emotion makes no sense, and I understand it's likely the result of thirty one years of societal 'values' drilled into my brain, but regardless the reason, it's there, and there's not a lot I can do about it now.
 

leekohler

macrumors G5
Dec 22, 2004
14,162
19
Chicago, Illinois
I think mono relationships are the norm because it's natural for people to feel possessive, jealous, insecure etc when it comes to the people they love.
Then we have different ideas about what love means. I don't think any of those things have anything to do with love. They have more in common with selfishness, but that's just me.
 

JBazz

macrumors 6502
Apr 14, 2006
491
1
I believe sexuality is more of a sliding scale, rather than an either/or.
 

anjinha

macrumors 604
Oct 21, 2006
7,271
62
San Francisco, CA
Where is the offense? People need to quit this politically correct BS. Yes, the OP makes points that people who are not bisexual may wonder about. It ain't offensive...
Straight people may wonder about it too. There's nothing about bisexuality that makes them wonder more.

I don't think telling the truth would make it ok either ;)
I don't think his point was that it would go ok if you were in an monogamous relationship, slept with someone else and then told your partner. But if both people in the relationship talk about it beforehand and agree with it what wouldn't be ok about that?

Unless he's arguing that if you're bisexual, there could theoretically be twice as many temptations out there.
That just doesn't work that way.
 

Desertrat

macrumors newbie
Jul 4, 2003
2
706
Terlingua, Texas
This talk about monogamous relationships stirred up an ancient memory of some poet gal who dreamed a poem of grand importance. She roused and wrote it down, and went back to sleep. Came morning and she went to read her magnum opus:

"Higgamus, hoggamus, women monogamous;
Hoggamus, higgamus, men are polygamous."

Basic biological hardwiring; that's generally true. Not much magnum in that opus. :D

Anyway, yeah, there are bi- folks. One whom I've known for (mumble, mumble) years had even done basic planning about eventually going straight and raising a family. Yup, wife and three kids. And I've known a couple of bi- gals, including a buddy's wife--and it never seemed a problem. Her problem was that he was a slob around the house.
 

Iscariot

macrumors 68030
Aug 16, 2007
2,624
3
Toronteazy
I think mono relationships are the norm because it's natural for people to feel possessive, jealous, insecure etc when it comes to the people they love.
I think a more accurate statement would be that people are more concerned with projecting their own inadequacies on others than confronting difficult issues from a problem-solving mindset. Most of the traditional "rules" in relationships stem from a deep-seated lack of internal consistency and a piping hot serving of special pleading.
 

leekohler

macrumors G5
Dec 22, 2004
14,162
19
Chicago, Illinois
I think a more accurate statement would be that people are more concerned with projecting their own inadequacies on others than confronting difficult issues from a problem-solving mindset. Most of the traditional "rules" in relationships stem from a deep-seated lack of internal consistency and a piping hot serving of special pleading.
Ain't that the truth?