Are your friends your co-workers?

Discussion in 'Community' started by jefhatfield, Sep 22, 2004.

  1. jefhatfield Retired


    Jul 9, 2000
    when i used to work with people, they also became the main friends i hung out with socially

    but as i have become older, i have friends who are not co-workers and i keep the two almost completely separate...i don't know if it has to be this way but it has seemed to evolve into two separate worlds
  2. Davito macrumors member

    Jun 16, 2004
    Zurich, Switzerland
    Part of my friends are my coworkers. I moved to where I live now 3 years ago, and those are the people I got to know most easily, of course. Moreover, most of them are in the same situation, i.e. they moved here for the job and were also searching for social contact when they arrived.
  3. rainman::|:| macrumors 603


    Feb 2, 2002
    No. In "real life", i tend to be a lot more punk, obscene, and loud. That doesn't work in an office, so i kind of have a separate persona for that-- One of my coworkers (whose art exhibitions I attend socially) calls him "the professor". Highly organized, controlling, and formal. When people at work meet that one, they think it's how i really am-- and i don't want to have to keep up the act past 5 every day. So I usually avoid socializing with them at all... Tho sometimes it's a large gathering and we'll all get drunk together, in which case I can relax and still not be the most offensive person there. Married men + beer - wives = waitresses being sexually harassed... I'll never forget the time my (then) boss told me "I wish I could eat my dinner off of her ass". Charming.

    But on rare occasion, I've met someone that does the same thing I do, and we've hit it off socially... In fact, I met my best friend when we worked together a couple of years back. We'd party all night and then make fun of the squares the next day.

    But then, it doesn't help that I'm in the insurance industry, where the youngest people tend to be 28 and on the road to suburban coma. Career people. I'm 22, and just in this until I figure out how to get paid for making bad art.

  4. zelmo macrumors 603


    Jul 3, 2004
    Mac since 7.5
    Friends? They would only disrupt my anti-social behavior and then try to steal my Mac.
  5. rueyeet macrumors 65816


    Jun 10, 2003
    Nope. They're nice people, but I've got pretty much no interests in common with any of them. One guy is heavily into sports, and does the fantasy team thing online; one guy is into boats and fishing; another does amateur poker tournaments (both on- and off-line) and may someday try to go pro.

    Me, I'm your classic sci-fi/fantasy/role-playing geek. Really not much to go on, there.
  6. AndiePandie macrumors regular

    Oct 15, 2003
    I don't make friends with coworkers. Personal life and work life shouldn't mix. This is just my opinion though. :) You see work people every day all day long, hanging out with them just seems overboard.
  7. yellow Moderator emeritus


    Oct 21, 2003
    Portland, OR
    I'm 33. I've been at my job for 10 years. I don't hang out with a single person that I work with. My work life and my social life are completely separate.
  8. emw macrumors G4


    Aug 2, 2004
    When I first moved to my current location, the only people I really new were my coworkers, aside from a one or two people that I new from college that were in the area. Plus, many of my coworkers were close to my age and we enjoyed doing the same type of things, most of which involved alcohol and music.

    However, as I moved along with my life and met people outside of work, including my future wife, bought a house, etc., my network of friends has tended to migrate more to neighbors, etc. Part of this is due to the fact that my jobs have changed and I am no longer so close to my coworkers, and part of it is that I now have the luxury of separating the two worlds. I tend to stay away from developing too many close friendships at work, since it seems to lead to more problems in today's world. It's not that I don't like my coworkers, but in general I would not invite them to my house for a barbecue.
  9. AmigoMac macrumors 68020


    Aug 5, 2003
    I really have a good time with the people I work with... there is only 1 guy I talk to but we do not include personal things into conversation... the rest are just a lot of nice guys who know what fun is...
  10. FuzzyBallz macrumors 6502a


    May 2, 2003
    Home of Al-Qaida
    When you have a Mac (any Mac) and an iPod, you don't need friends.

    No, I hate everybody at work. It's strictly hate on a business level, nothing personal.
  11. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

    Jul 4, 2004
    A friend I've known for about 25 years (going back to school days) sits at a desk in my office about 10 feet away – we share the same Mac network but don't go to lunch together...

    It's a long story.
  12. themadchemist macrumors 68030


    Jan 31, 2003
    Chi Town
    The anal retentive part of me says that the more logical thread title would be "Are your co-workers your friends?" because they are your co-workers regardless, but the attribute of inspection is their status as friend. :eek:
  13. blackfox macrumors 65816


    Feb 18, 2003
    I think it depends on a number of factors...your age, your personality and your profession.

    Having worked in the Service industry (especially food service) over the past 10 years en route to my "career", you often find yourself with many other people in the same boat as you - young, working at a place because they have to have cash, and prefer (or are only qualified for) a job that pays less, but is more relaxed socially. So poor pay and serving the public tend to bond a workforce...I cannot count the times I have gone out after work and gotten swilly w/ co-workers while complaining about work-related things. Depending on the people, it might end there, or if you have more in common than love of alcohol and debauchery, you might become closer friends.

    It can be tricky, however. I used to manage a restaurant and was good friends with many of my co-workers and would hang out w/ them on some of my off-time. The problem was if I needed to discipline one of them for a mistake they made as an employee, they would take it as an insult to our friendship. So work-related friendships can also be somewhat shallow.

    Also, never date any co-workers...nothing good can come from it.

    On the other hand, if you are working a higher-paying but more boring job, you may not have anything in common with your co-workers and might even have to pretend to be something you are not for the sake of "professionalism". See Paul's post...

    This is all empirical knowledge gained in various trenches. As I am nearly thirty, it applies only to those in the first 10-15 years in the workforce...FWIW
  14. paxtonandrew macrumors 6502

    May 10, 2004
    I Come From A Land Down Under
    Nope. I probably have 2 friends that have come out of my current workplace. The rest are dick-heads or workaholics. The friends I have managed to pull out of Work live near me, and we so some social things together, with our partners. The rest are almost impossible to talk too, as even though I'm their boss, they find it hard to respect somebody younger than them, who is higher in the hierarchy.
  15. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Sep 19, 2002
    Los Angeles
    All of the coworkers I deal with are personal friends as well, except for one guy. No, I have nothing against him. But he works 3,000 miles from me and I've never met him in person!

Share This Page