at what point did you stop figihting with your family?


redeye be

macrumors 65816
Jan 27, 2005
1,138
0
BXL
ExoticFish said:
when i moved out of the house, now we get along just great.
same here.

We don't see each other as often (maybe 1 time every week), i think that is the key (and my mom didn't/doesn't have to bother about me cleaning up my room anymore ;) )

EDIT: PS: indifference, are u running for the thread starter champions?
 

wordmunger

macrumors 603
Sep 3, 2003
5,125
2
North Carolina
Still am, at age 38. Actually, we probably fight more than when I was living with them. When I was a kid, I didn't complain about anything. Now I point out when I think my parents are doing something wrong.
 

indifference

macrumors regular
Original poster
Sep 28, 2004
184
0
Pacific Northwest
hey well, no I am not running the thread thing. Also, to the person that is 38, thank you for saying that. I am 26 and if I talk to them we still fight., Why do you fight at 38?
 

indifference

macrumors regular
Original poster
Sep 28, 2004
184
0
Pacific Northwest
gwuMACaddict said:
nothing i would ever call a "fight"... calm level headed and logical discussion usually clears most problems up...

dude I am from DC too. what is your definition of a "fight". I am one of the people that will never go back.
 

Applespider

macrumors G4
Rarely speak to my father since my parents divorced and he cut the relationship.

Can't say that I've ever really fought with my mother although like any normal adults, we have our own views on certain issues that we respect. We regularly spend weekends together, going out to restaurants/bars, shopping and chilling out. Last year, I went on two great holidays with my pals and one fabulous trip to San Francisco with my mum. She's one of my (and my sister's) best friends.
 

RBMaraman

macrumors 65816
Jul 25, 2002
1,210
13
Louisville, KY
jayscheuerle said:
Really? You never walked away angry? Feeling unresolved or pushed over?
I've never fought with my family either. We get along great, and we always have. I've never walked away angry or feeling unresolved. We've always solved problems with calm discussions were everyone gives logical input. I'm amazed that more people don't get along with their family.

I think my brother and I get along with our family is because we have always been honest with them about everything. When I was 16 I wasn't lying to my parents about drinking, or where I've been like most kids do.
 

killuminati

macrumors 68020
Dec 6, 2004
2,405
0
gwuMACaddict said:
nothing i would ever call a "fight"... calm level headed and logical discussion usually clears most problems up...
Never got into a fight and stormed away to your room?

calm level head logical discussion :confused: strange child :p
 

gwuMACaddict

macrumors 68040
Apr 21, 2003
3,124
0
washington dc
we've always talked things out, sometimes in a more animated fashion than other times, but nothing i would call a fight.

a fight to me is when you yell and scream and say things you dont mean and dont talk to each other for a week. never anything like that.

sorry if thats so odd, i figured we were well adjusted :p
 

emw

macrumors G4
Aug 2, 2004
11,177
0
Fighting can take several forms. You can have arguments and disagreements that are calm, cool, and collected, and still be considered "fights." Who says you need to yell or throw punches to get in a fight.

I don't argue very often with my family, but it still happens from time to time. Of course, we're all several hours (either by car or plane) from each other, so that could play a part in it.

In the end, if you never argue (fight) then you probably don't really care about each other, in my opinion. You need to be able to voice your opinion, even if it doesn't agree with theirs. If you think you can't, or choose not to, then you either don't feel secure enough in the relationship or you simply don't care.
 

VincentVega

macrumors regular
Jan 26, 2004
108
0
UK
I think it was when I went away to university. I'd never left home before, so I was fairly homesick in the beginning During holidays and vacations, I'd come home and suddenly appreciate just how good it was back with my folks. I also got to see my youngest brother go through the "angst-ridden-teenager" phase, which wasn't particularly great.

Since then, I've developed an aversion to conflict and arguing with people. I don't really have the stomach for it any more. Life's too short to be stressed all the time and I feel better for it.
 

blackfox

macrumors 65816
Feb 18, 2003
1,208
4,026
PDX
I used to get into arguments with my parents when I was a teenager, and those were mostly the products of external stresses combining with ridiculously petty catalysts. The rest were a result of me being an arrogant teenager, as most are.

In my 20's, for the most part I was living thousands of miles away and only saw my parents a few times a year. We got along great, although there were a few arguments when money was involved.

Now that I am in my 30's and have fairly recently moved back to the area my parents live (they are an hour away) and they are growing older (late 60's), with all their kids long moved out, there is tension from time-to-time.

Mostly it now derives from their desire to be more of a part of their adult children's lives. I was always thought of as the "genius" of the family (horrible situation to have foisted on you), and there are complaints of my choices and life not living up to my potential, or of not taking enough time out to visit them. Pretty small-time stuff.

My relationship with my siblings has always been harmonious btw. We are all fairly spread apart (at least 5 years between), so we have never been super close, but we are definitely family.
 

Chappers

macrumors 68020
Aug 12, 2003
2,247
1
At home
Ah but I knew it was you who had started it from the moment I saw it - I sense a pattern to your posts and threads.
 

Artful Dodger

macrumors 68020
Since I've been on my own at the age of 16 when my parents divorced, I don't talk to my dad. We talked about 6-7 times then that was it he chose his new family (step mom and 4 kids).
As far as my mom we only talk because of my gram (her mom). Again she has a family that she chose as well and my step dad will not let me over "his" house.
The fights stopped when I moved in with my gram for two years. She is more like a mom to me and an uncle that is like a dad. Both put it this way, do they pay your bills, feed you, listen when you need to be heard? That was easy to answer. The fights were always over why are they treating me like an outsider since I was an only child and spent most time with the grandparents?
The time came when I said--they made that choice not me, a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I go about my life with the people that are and have been there (for each other).
Now at 33 I may not like what I hear, but everyone has a diff. view so I go about things in a diff. way. The psychology classes at school also helped me to understand (well try to) why are they like that! :rolleyes: