Awnaa - Americans with no abilities act

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Tesselator, Jul 25, 2009.

  1. Tesselator macrumors 601

    Tesselator

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Japan
    #1
    AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)


    WASHINGTON , DC (AP) - President Obama and the
    US Congress are considering sweeping legislation which provides
    new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With
    No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation
    by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or
    ambition.



    "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess
    the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role
    for themselves in society," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
    "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed
    and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able
    to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do
    a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."



    The President pointed to the success of the US
    Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
    opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of
    postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer
    of Persons of Inability.



    Private sector industries with good records of
    nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), home
    improvement stores, The DMV also has a great
    record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).



    Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more
    than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created,
    with important-sounding titles but little real
    responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.



    Mandatory non-performance- based raises and
    promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the
    most unremarkable employees. The legislation
    provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a
    significant level of Persons of Inability in middle
    positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that
    agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires!



    Finally, the AWNAA ACT contains tough new
    measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the
    Non-abled, banning discriminatory interview questions such
    as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills
    or experience which relate to this
    job?"



    `As a Non-abled Person, I can't be expected to
    keep up with people who have something going for them,' said Mary Lou
    Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut
    twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan , due to her inability
    to remember `righty tighty, lefty loosey.'



    `This new law should be real good for people
    like me,' Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions
    of other untalented citizens will finally see a
    light at the end of the tunnel.



    Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): `As a Senator
    with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that
    elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every
    American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each
    and every American citizen, regardless of his
    or her inadequacy, with some sort of job in this great nation and
    a good salary with it.


    http://www.usdebtclock.org/ <---- Oh Yeah! Uh-huh!

    :D
     
  2. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

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  3. it5five macrumors 65816

    it5five

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    #3
    That must have been why the military reserves proved incredibly inept at performing postal duties in the 70's during the big Postal Service strike.

    People like to talk bad about the US Postal Service, but for less half a dollar we can get a letter across the entire country in a few days. I'd like to see any of you naysayers step in and do my job for one day. It'd be hilarious seeing you completely fail to meet any of our standards.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Postal_Service_strike_of_1970
     
  4. mgguy macrumors 6502

    mgguy

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    #4
    Great. I was happily eating my cereal and now it is all over the room from my uncontrolled laugher brought on by your post.
     
  5. spaceboots06 macrumors 6502a

    spaceboots06

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    #5
    I highly doubt you personally transport letters across the country. Anyway, two years ago there was a whole study and the result was that 1 in 12 letters/packages are lost by the United States Postal Service. Where do all the lost things go?
     
  6. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    #6
    Can we pose as having no abilities and still get assistance?
     
  7. it5five macrumors 65816

    it5five

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    #7
    Where did you get the idea that I said anything even remotely close to this?

    I'd like to see that study, too.
     
  8. Gelfin macrumors 68020

    Gelfin

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    #8
    I am really going to need a citation for this.

    That suggests that for every bill you receive and pay monthly, on average once per year that bill will just inexplicably fail to arrive, and moreover that for every payment you send, likewise the payment will just vanish one time per year on average, for a total of two screw-ups per bill per year. If you have six bills to pay every month, that's on average one mail screw-up per month. We'd notice.

    Either that, or I am just postally charmed.
     
  9. it5five macrumors 65816

    it5five

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    #9
    He either made up that statistic or the "study" was done by a right-wing group with an agenda.
     
  10. Desertrat macrumors newbie

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    #10
    Re the USPS: My wife raised enough hell with the local PO that they quit stealing her SS checks from the PO Box. The postal inspectors said that it had been an area problem in south Georgia.

    I thought the AWNAA had been passed decades ago. It would explain the Congress, for one thing, as well as the TSA.
     
  11. .Andy macrumors 68030

    .Andy

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    #11
    You mean you haven't been already :confused:;)?
     
  12. yg17 macrumors G5

    yg17

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    #12
    That's a localized problem as a result of dishonest employees that you'll find in any company and has nothing to do with the postal service as a whole.

    The USPS can, for 44 cents, get a letter from the northern most part of Alaska to the southernmost part of Florida in a week. If that's inept, then I wish more companies were as inept as the USPS.
     
  13. Tesselator thread starter macrumors 601

    Tesselator

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    #13
    Give them time... they'll privatize it and then we'll all be f&$%#d. ;)
     
  14. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    #14
    Doh! :eek:
     
  15. emt1 macrumors 65816

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    #15
    One word. Email. Thanks for playing.
     
  16. benzslrpee macrumors 6502

    benzslrpee

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    #16
    hi, please ship this gift box through email.

     
  17. emt1 macrumors 65816

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    #17
    1. He said letter.
    2. UPS offers real tracking.
     
  18. sushi Moderator emeritus

    sushi

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    #18
    Thanks for the laugh.

    FWIW in Japan you can:

    - Safely send cash.

    - Mail takes a few days anywhere in Japan.

    - You can determine the exact date that your letter will arrive.

    Cost is 60-80 cents depending on the letter.
     
  19. yg17 macrumors G5

    yg17

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    #19
    Perhaps it's a culture thing, and the Japanese are more honest than Americans. But I can't fault the USPS or government for having a few bad apples among the thousands of employees who steal mail. Unfortunately, since a piece of mail rapidly makes its way through the system, it's difficult to pinpoint who is stealing what. It's not like a cashier stealing out of the register at McDonalds where they can count the drawer or look at security cameras, the very nature of a postal system makes tracking down theft difficult.

    I don't think I've ever waited more than 5 days for something to arrive via USPS. Not bad given the fact that the US is much larger than Japan.

    For 44 cents, I don't care whether it takes 3 days or 5 days, as long as it gets there in a timely manner. I guess it would be nice knowing when it would arrive, but I've never mailed anything first class that was mission-critical enough that I needed to know the exact date of arrival. If whatever I was mailing was that important, I'd pay for express mail or UPS/FedEx to have better tracking and guaranteed arrival.
     
  20. sushi Moderator emeritus

    sushi

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    #20
    Sure, the US is larger than Japan.

    However, Japan is a long country. Not counting Okinawa, it stretches from Florida to Maine. Lost mail is something that doesn't happen here.

    However, with the USPS, I've had numerous letters, cards and boxes lost. The US system is far from perfect. I guess for 44 cents it's okay.

    And it cost you a lot more to send via UPS/FedEx or Express USPS. :)

    Where in Japan, I can trust the postal system to get the letter to the receiver by a certain date without using a special service.

    Anyhow, not banging on the USPS or employees. After all, family members and friends have worked or do work in the postal system. Just wanted to bring to light that there are other systems in the world that work just as well if not better. That's all.
     
  21. LethalWolfe macrumors G3

    LethalWolfe

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    #21
    Holy crap it was a joke. People need to lighten up a bit in here.


    Lethal
     
  22. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #22
    SS? As in Social Security? I thought you were right winger. How could you possibly allow socialism in your house? :rolleyes:
     
  23. Macky-Mac macrumors 68030

    Macky-Mac

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    #23
    hush now! :eek: OMG....you don't think he's also signed up for that socialist medicare stuff do you?
     

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