I am engaged, have been for one year .... been with my fella for 3 years ... I love him to bits ... I really really do! If I lost him, I'd be devastated and vice versa...he does everything for me and I do so much for me.. But I can't get this guy from my teenage years out of my head .. I'm friends with his sister, good friends ... and she tells me about him .... I went out with him for about 6 months when we were 16 .. but we were friends from about 10 .. right up until about 19, when I met my fiancé! altho we only went out for 6 months, I think the fact that he was a close friend made our bond a bit more special! He told me we'd be like ross and rachel from friends - on and off until eventually we end up together! I don't think I'd want to be with him, but I have to be honest and say I'm jealous of his current girlfriend. He's been on and off with her for a few years ... they lived togehter, were engaged (though not anymore) etc, but me and him still flirted when we hung out together, even though I knew it was wrong and we were both taken! It's pulling myhead apart - I think it's more of a first love, first crush kinda thing...I'm close to his mum, sister and dad...his mum always said she had a hat for our wedding! ... As much as I love my fiance (and I know you'll say to question our relationship but he really does bring me happiness and I rarely think of my childhood sweetheart when I'm with him) ... I just sometimes think of the other guy when I'm on my own!! Last time I seen him was last year, we hung out (me, him, his sister, and our mutual friend) .. had drinks, played pool, flirted big time, but obviously nothing happened ..... I think it's just because he was my first real love ... but I'm finding it hard to forget about him, especially as I'm growing older (23) and moving on in life!