Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Sydde, Dec 4, 2015.

  1. Sydde macrumors 68020


    Aug 17, 2009
    Velvet Green
    If you need a blurb for your new-age product, you can grab some nice generic text on this page, which can pump it out as well as a classic Mac app I once had, "Kant Generator Pro". For example,
    By refining, we live.

    The quantum cycle is full of superpositions of possibilities. Consciousness consists of chaos-driven reactions of quantum energy. “Quantum” means a deepening of the endless.

    Reality has always been overflowing with lifeforms whose essences are opened by chi.

    We are in the midst of an internal ennobling of chi that will remove the barriers to the grid itself. Who are we? Where on the great journey will we be re-energized? Humankind has nothing to lose.

    The solar system is calling to you via frequencies. Can you hear it? It can be difficult to know where to begin. If you have never experienced this revolution through non-local interactions, it can be difficult to live.

    Kabala may be the solution to what’s holding you back from an astonishing vector of curiosity. Through acupuncture, our third eyes are baptized in non-locality. You will soon be re-energized by a power deep within yourself — a power that is conscious, ever-present.

    Have you found your journey?
    We grow, we exist, we are reborn. Awareness is the driver of transcendence. We exist as transmissions.

    Being, look within and enlighten yourself. How should you navigate this pranic quantum matrix? Although you may not realize it, you are sensual.
    (spoilered for compactness)

    Some research was carried out involving vague, random pseudo-profundity. In one study, various tweets by the incomparable Deepak something-or-other were mixed in with randomly generated aphorisms and shown to test subjects, who were asked to rate the statements for their meaningfulness. Of course, as you might expect, the overall rating of all the wisdom, whether of swami or machine origin, was consistent (pdf study paper here). Quite smirksome, really.

    So, apparently, we as a broad population, tend to be rather gullible. I see all manner of airy-fairy nonsense popping up everywhere, and people saying, "Oh, I never thought of it that way before!" To which I feel inclined to ask, then what way did you think of it?

    It makes me wonder, why do our schools not require a full course in bullshasterisk for graduation? Have the chemtrails and aluminum foil hats corroded our collective minds into lemon custard? Just imagine how much more sense the internets would make if everyone had proper nonsense-avoidance education.

    Not as funny, though.
  2. aaronvan Suspended


    Dec 21, 2011
    República Cascadia
  3. citizenzen macrumors 65816

    Mar 22, 2010
    :eek: OmigodwhatshouldIdo?
  4. Renzatic Suspended


    Aug 3, 2011
    Gramps, what the hell am I paying you for?
    Not to be one of those obnoxious know-it-alls who looks down their nose at people (though as a liberal, this habit comes naturally to me), but I've always wondered how anyone could fall for that crap.

    It's like impressive mystical word salad. It says a lot without actually saying anything at all.
  5. 0007776 Suspended


    Jul 11, 2006
    The forum is censoring your link.

    The style of writing reminds me of some commenter I've seen on political forums who uses that same style to post anti-obama rants, is there a site that uses this algorithm but replaces the new age language with far right political speak?
  6. Sydde thread starter macrumors 68020


    Aug 17, 2009
    Velvet Green
    Well, of course it is. If you go to his front page and scroll down a tad, there is a link on the right half to the generator page (it mentions "new age" and "BS").

    As I mentioned, that Kant Generator Pro app was quite good. It could be configured quite easily, so making a RW nonsensicator would probably not be a huge leap.
  7. jnpy!$4g3cwk macrumors 65816


    Feb 11, 2010
    I've long suspected that this already exists. One button must give you an anti-Obama rant, the other button an anti-gun-control rant.
  8. localoid macrumors 68020


    Feb 20, 2007
    America's Third World
    Thanks to the wondrous age we live in, automatons such as the Shrieking Harpy Rant Generator that provide a special blend of illiteracy, spite, and venomous xenophobia (example below) are merely a mouse click away...

    The LAMESTREAM Media are at it again! This week your humble Atla exposed them plotting to destroy the right to hate Moslems, with Christmas trees festooned with EVIL! The LAMESTREAM Media may try to tell you otherwise, but these vile traitors are all a bunch of vile Nazi PIGS! That's why we need more people like the brave patriotic Tea Party Republicans, as they ban sharia law from the courts, because vile Islamic supremists are already in control of the entire US government. We will take it to the streets. We will take it to the media. We will take it to the movies. We will take it to the halls of justice.!
  9. AlliFlowers Contributor


    Jan 1, 2011
    L.A. (Lower Alabama)
    Another reason to educate the masses. If people understood what they were reading, they would know it was mostly BS.

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