Close friend came out

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by dukebound85, Apr 3, 2010.

  1. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #1
    This came up during his bday celebrations at the bars last night as I was talking to him and said, "dang, you have some really cute friends, you should date some of them or hook me up!" at which point he told me he wasn't into girls even though he tried to be in the past and told me to take that as you will.

    Now, I had been good friends with this guy for about 8 years and recall talking to my mom that it wouldn't surprise me that he was gay just by how he acted at times and I have never seen him date a girl so this news was hardly surprising to me. However, it is the first time I have had a close friend that wasn't straight and confirm that to me personally.

    But what he said he appreciated the most was how me and one of my other good friend didn't care. He said his biggest worry was losing friends over a factor that didn't affect friendship. He told me his mom kinda shunned him a bit when he told her.....7 years ago, but just now got around to telling his friends. He is still the same dude who likes cars, motorcycles, and sports which was why we became friends to begin with. I would like to think that this forum played a part in my being more cool with it, even though I was never totally uncool with it, just not as much I would venture.

    But here is what is cool, he has A TON of cute girl friends. I always ask him how in the world he does it lol. Anyways, I know have a friend who is friends with all these cute girls who I no longer have to "compete" with for them as he's a quality guy. He was like "yea, now I will just point some girls over to "a good guy (being me lol)". Win win I say lol
     
  2. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

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  3. dmr727 macrumors G3

    dmr727

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    #3
    Oh man, back when I was single and in college, hanging out with my gay buddies was easily the best way to hook up with cute girls. :p
     
  4. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #4
    How many times do I tell you straight guys that you all need at last one good gay friend? :)
     
  5. dukebound85 thread starter macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    #5
    Haha yea.

    But seriously, how do you guys do it? He has all these cute friends and they think he's straight (as of now)

    There must be a secret lol
     
  6. Xavier macrumors 68020

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    #6
    Nice! Sounds like I need a good gay friend to hook me up! (With their hot chick friends that is)
     
  7. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

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  8. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #8
    Quite honestly, we don't want anything from them. They can tell even if we don't say anything or even if they initially think we're straight. But you do want something from them and it's usually pretty obvious. ;)

    I've been hit on by plenty of women. It's a little awkward. However- I don't have many female friends. Most of my friends are gay or straight guys-probably because the stuff I like to do is pretty male-oriented. I have put together some couples in the past, though. Some are married now. Since I don't know many women, I usually will take a straight friend out to a gay bar with me, and he looks for ladies while I do the opposite. :) It's much easier for me to initiate a conversation with women because I'm not intimidated or nervous. Hopefully, she's got a cute friend with her and everybody wins. :)

    See how that works?
     
  9. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

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    #9
    Women serve excellently on one's wing for the same reason.... :)
     
  10. dmr727 macrumors G3

    dmr727

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    #10
    I'll also add - and I apologize for painting with a wide brush here - but just about all of my gay friends have something in common, and that's a confident and fun personality that's universally attractive to women. It doesn't hurt that they tend to pay much more attention to their appearance than their breeder counterparts. ;)
     
  11. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #11
    Well, Dukey, our OP doesn't have a problem with his looks. :) Yeeouch! :D

    But yes, some of you boys do need a bit of help in that department. ;)
     
  12. citizenzen macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
    #12
    I think that sums it up pretty well.

    Imagine... a man who isn't always trying to get down your pants, or fantasizing about getting down your pants, or weaseling some angle to ingratiate himself so that one day he could potentially down your pants... or at the very least leave you thinking that he might be a guy who could get down your pants*.

    That's essentially what I act around women. And frankly... I disgust myself.

    Is it any wonder why they like to hang around with gay guys?





    *Actually hoping that opening up like this and being brutally honest might get myself down somebody's pants. I hope my wife never finds out.
     
  13. Tomorrow macrumors 604

    Tomorrow

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    #13
    Wow...I must really disgust you. ;)

    Actually, in spite of all the things I say, I'm pretty harmless. There's a line I don't cross in my playfulness, even if rdowns disagrees. :D
     
  14. bobber205 macrumors 68020

    bobber205

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  15. rhsgolfer33 macrumors 6502a

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    #15
    So I should avoid looking directly at their breasts when I approach? I've really been going about this the wrong way...
     
  16. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #16
    Haha!

    Yeah- staring into the headlights on first approach is not a good idea. ;)

    That reminds me- a funny thing always happens. I'll be out with friends talking to various new people. When we move around the bar later or go to the rest room, one friend will say to me, "OMG! She had the hugest boobs!". Me- "Really? I didn't see." :)
     
  17. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

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    #17

    I don't know about that. I know a Jack Mcfarland-type gay guy and chicks love him.
     
  18. bobber205 macrumors 68020

    bobber205

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    #18
    When I move to a bigger city, should I first head to the gay bars to get some friends that can in turn introduce me to these cute girls? ;)
     
  19. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #19
    You might want to make some friends outside of the bars first. ;) No one takes kindly to being used just to meet ladies.
     
  20. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

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    #20
    Yeah, sorry, that would be crass. :p

    The best is going to lesbian bars not looking to hook up. Those bitches are f'in crazy! :eek: :D (Lee, I was just thinking about going to see 8 Inch Betsy in Chi-town... I just don't get that kind of thing here in GR so much!)
     
  21. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #21
    8 Inch Betsy is AWESOME. Those chicks ROCK. They're a great band.
     
  22. Ttownbeast macrumors 65816

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    #22
    Congrats Duke having a gay wingman as a best friend should get you more bumper than a tow truck--OK that's a little shallow of me that's just the polyamorous side of me showing LOL

    My fiance misses the coke when she was younger I miss the open relationships. But we both work around it.
     
  23. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #23
    More importantly- I'm glad to see you being a good friend, Dukey. He needs your support and friendship more than you know.
     
  24. Ttownbeast macrumors 65816

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    #24
    Indeed, its a tough time for a dude who is into a way of life that is generally shunned by those of a hetero nature.
     
  25. rhsgolfer33 macrumors 6502a

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    #25
    You know, I really wish I could say that I didn't know what you were talking about or that I hadn't been the one saying something along the lines of, "OMG she had a such an amazing rack" on multiple occasions, but I'd definitely be lying.

    But yeah, way to be supportive Duke. I'm sure its really difficult to come out to your male friends (not that its easy to come out to anyone, for that matter); I can't even imagine how hard it is.
     

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