Conniving Step-mother-in-law (sort of) - What would you do?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by abijnk, Feb 17, 2008.

  1. abijnk macrumors 68040

    abijnk

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #1
    So, this is sort of a venting thread, but I would like to know what you would do...

    I have been with my fiance for almost 5 years now. We are both in college, and as such we still live with our parents. For this current school year we have been living at his house, under the consent of his parents (Dad and Step-mom) so that it is easier on us (and who wouldn't want to live with their fiance??).

    At first, his step-mom and I got along really well, she's a lot younger than his dad, so she was really cool. I, of course, was really excited because you always hear those stories about the evil mother-in-law, so I thought I had avoided this. Well, as soon as I moved in this year (again, under her and her husbands consent) I naturally started showering there as well. It didn't take long, though, for me to start noticing her doing small things to me and my fiance (mostly me).

    First, when we moved in we asked if we could get a pet, and we ended up getting a Chinchilla, again with their consent. She started doing little things like letting the little kids (4 and 5 now) come in whenever we were gone. We came in one day to find that the 5 year old had been let to go in our room and she had dumped the chins food out all over the floor. It was just little things like that.

    Then, I started noticing that any time she was home and I took a shower that the hot water didn't last very long. It didn't take me too long to figure out it wasn't a coincidence. So, today I was busy cleaning our room and cleaning my chins cage (its really big, so it takes a while) and didn't take a shower until later in the day. I walked down stairs right past her (she even looked at me and smiled) and I went into the shower. I was shaving (after having been in the shower for about 5 minutes) when all of the sudden the water pressure went way down. Then all of a sudden the water was ICE cold. I don't know if you have ever had ice cold water hit you all of a sudden, but it knocks the breath out of you. I fell forward, and since I had a razor in my hand shaving, I cut a chunk out of my ankle. When I came out of the shower I saw her sitting just where she had been, but now the washing machine was magically on with the water temp set to hot. It was so obvious that she had done it on purpose. I wouldn't have been surprised if there weren't actually any clothes in there...

    I think part of it might be the fact that I know she is having an affair. Actually, anybody with half a brain could see that she is having an affair. She has recently made it obvious that she is getting ready to leave her husband for this other guy. She had my fiance and I go through and get all of her stuff out of the closet we use so she can "reorganize"... Right, if you saw the house you would know there is no reorganizing it...

    What should I do?? I have no idea how to handle this situation. For tonight I have gone back to my parents. If you were in my situation would you confront her? I realize that its her house, and that if she wants me to leave I have no recourse, but she has never asked me to leave. And this time she actually caused me physical harm.
     
  2. swiftaw macrumors 603

    swiftaw

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Location:
    Omaha, NE, USA
    #2
    Well, if she is getting ready to leave then why not just wait it out.
     
  3. adk macrumors 68000

    adk

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Location:
    Stuck in the middle with you
    #3
    well, you could at least start by asking her to stop running the hot water while you're showering .... it will at least let her know you're not as stupid as she thinks you are.
     
  4. Counterfit macrumors G3

    Counterfit

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2003
    Location:
    sitting on your shoulder
    #4
    Wait, you know she's having an affair, and she's treating you like crap? Your fiancée's father must know about it, because she's not acting like she doesn't want you to tell him...

    What I would do (not saying you should do it, but if you want to, you have my full support :D): Get some compromising pictures of her and "the other man" and see if that gets you any bargaining leverage. If not, leave them somewhere conspicuous. [​IMG]
     
  5. abijnk thread starter macrumors 68040

    abijnk

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #5
    I would LOVE to take your advice, but I am not that sneaky... :)
     
  6. Cromulent macrumors 603

    Cromulent

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Location:
    The Land of Hope and Glory
    #6
    You could just try talking to her. Controversial idea, I know.
     
  7. abijnk thread starter macrumors 68040

    abijnk

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #7
    No need to be snarky. I'm afraid to approach her because if she is willing to do little stuff unprovoked then whats she willing to do if I make her angry?
     
  8. pachyderm macrumors 601

    pachyderm

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2008
    Location:
    Smyrna, TN
  9. adroit macrumors 6502

    adroit

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2005
    Location:
    Victoria, BC
    #9
    I'm not saying that you should do this, I am just saying what I would do.

    I'm not sure how close you're to finishing up school, but if it is just a year or two then I would just move back to your parents' until you can afford to rent your own place (or until your mother in-law move out). I know it would be hard to live apart again, but it probably would be the option with the least headache. It is just never a good idea to live with your in-laws imho . . .
     
  10. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #10
    Use up all the cold water in the house when SHE'S in the shower.

    You took a shower in cold water because of her.
    She's suffering full body 2nd degree, or hopefully, 3rd degree burns.
     
  11. ups757pf macrumors newbie

    ups757pf

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2007
  12. abijnk thread starter macrumors 68040

    abijnk

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #12
    PM me, I'll give you the address for the rent check ;)
     
  13. chickenninja macrumors 6502

    chickenninja

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2008
    Location:
    inside my skull
    #13
    first dont get married this soon in life, you can still love someone without getting married, second whatever you do dont try and get revenge by running the washing machine while shes in the shower. that will only make her do it to you more. if your afraid of talking to her then talk to everyone in the house all at once about using the washing machine while yr in the shower. but what you should really do is break off the wedding and go live at yr place, cause honestly would you be marrying this guy if he was in a womans body, if you dont love him enough to go gay for him(her) then its not meant to be.
     
  14. abijnk thread starter macrumors 68040

    abijnk

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #14
    Um, hm... we've been together for 5 years, and engaged for more than a year, and our wedding date isn't set because we aren't sure when we'll both be done with school (he's in masters, I'm a year or so out from my bachelors)... I don't think whether or not we should get married is up for discussion :)

    I really just don't do well in conflicts. When I first came out of the bathroom it was all I could do to keep from hitting her... Not the best temper... That's why I thought posting this for some general advice would be interesting, because I know I don't handle stuff like this well...
     
  15. Keebler macrumors 68030

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2005
    Location:
    Canada
    #15
    I would politely confront her. Ask her, in front of your fiance, to not run the machines when you're in the shower b/c it got so cold the last time that you ended up cutting yourself.

    if she's psycho enough to do that, I wouldn't get pics of her and affair partner. you never know what ppl will do.

    and also, did you tell your fiance? I imagine you have, but you should if not.

    good luck.
    Keebler
     
  16. pachyderm macrumors 601

    pachyderm

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2008
    Location:
    Smyrna, TN
    #16
    set her up on a date with that Van der Sloot kid...
     
  17. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #17
    There's only one way to settle this --- a pillow-fight.
     

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