Creative and Horrible Pickup Lines

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Plutonius, Mar 16, 2018.

  1. Plutonius macrumors 604

    Plutonius

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    #1
    I'm currently running a tabletop Pathfinder game and the adventuring party is about to meet a bard in a tavern.

    What are the most creative and horrible pickup lines that you have seen (I want to use the best ones in the game :) ) ?

    The only one that comes to mind for me is "Would you hold it against me if I told you you had a beautiful body".

    I'm not sure if that one qualifies as creative or horrible :D .
     
  2. AlliFlowers Contributor

    AlliFlowers

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  3. casperes1996 macrumors 68040

    casperes1996

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    #3
    Are we including ones that are sexual right off the bat, or do you want to start off easy?

    I quite like (ironically)
    "You know what I really like in a (wo)man?..... My dick. You seem like someone who could have what I'm looking for."

    You could also use something like (since it is a bard)
    "It's time to sing a song, of how bloody long, it's been since beauty came by, but my oh my, I've been blessed by your presence today".

    Or maybe
    "Have I had a drink too many, or are you actually shining?" (alternatively 'making the world spin' instead of shining).

    Perchance this:
    "If I have died, it's at least a lovely consolation that such a gorgeous angel has been sent for me"

    A few more:

    "As beautiful as you are, you must get hit on all the time... Have anyone been successful or am I free to try as well?"

    "I had devoted all my love to poetry... But you're making me have seconds thoughts about that. Want a drink?"

    "Excuse me, are you real, or am I having a lovely dream?"

    (A sexual innuendo one)
    "The drinks in this tavern are alright, but I think you ought to come with me home and try my love potion, if you know what I mean"

    "Oh God! I think I've gone temporarily blind. Can I feel you up to get an idea of how you look?"
     
  4. Huntn macrumors P6

    Huntn

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    #4
    I’ve heard them but can’t remember an original, so I googled silly pickup lines and this one made me laugh out loud:
    If you were a booger I'd pick you first. :D

    For the Donald Trump pickup section: :oops:
    Whether you realize it or not, this is a privilege beautiful (accompanied by a full body press and hand groping at your crotch).
     
  5. sean000 macrumors 68000

    sean000

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    #5
  6. Mousse macrumors 68000

    Mousse

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    #6
    “Come woo me, woo me, for I am in a holiday humour and like enough to consent.”
    For those who don't speak Shakespeare, "I'm drunk and horny." Ah, the Bard doth make even the basest words sound poetic.:D
     
  7. Plutonius, Mar 16, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2018

    Plutonius thread starter macrumors 604

    Plutonius

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    #7
    A great choice of lines :). The bard is using them on another customer in the tavern and the adventuring party will overhear the pickup lines. I don't expect them to ignore the byplay which will probably result in your typical bar brawl. Both sexual and non-sexual pickup lines will work great.

    Thanks to all for the suggestions so far.
    --- Post Merged, Mar 16, 2018 ---
    It's a medieval fantasy setting so I don't think it would work (i.e. current events or people) :). For a real pickup line, it might work better to say "Hello beautiful. My name is Trump. Donald J. and I'm here to make sex great again".
     
  8. samcraig macrumors P6

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    #8
    Did it hurt?
    What?
    When you fell from the sky?

    (touches tongue to finger and taps shirt then does the same to the other person): "Why don't we get out of these we clothes"

    How do you like your eggs?

    If I were rearranging the alphabet, I would put U and I together
     
  9. VulchR macrumors 68020

    VulchR

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  10. blackfox macrumors 65816

    blackfox

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    #11
    Lionel Ritchie ran with that concept...
    --- Post Merged, Mar 16, 2018 ---
    I also knew a couple guys who basically asked "wanna have sex?" point-blank. On average, 1 out of 10 times they'd get a yes.
     
  11. jdillings macrumors 68000

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  12. Gutwrench Contributor

    Gutwrench

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    #13
    You must be a Sharpie, ‘cuz you’re Ultra Fine.
     
  13. Huntn macrumors P6

    Huntn

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    #14
    That’s what stellar looks gets you. Are you bragging? :D
     
  14. VulchR macrumors 68020

    VulchR

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    #15
    I wouldn't be so forward, but it seems to me the decision is largely made in the first 10 seconds. Of course people can and do change their minds afterwards, but mostly they seem to want to confirm their initial impressions. And about 1 out of 10 'success' seems about right to me, not that I ever took the random approach.
    --- Post Merged, Mar 16, 2018 ---
    I wish, believe me. Some women seem to like my self-deprecating sense of humour though. And grovelling helps.
     
  15. Huntn macrumors P6

    Huntn

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    #16
    The decision might be made, but the response in most cases will be negative when the proposal is too blunt. There is a certain amount of self respect that must be maintained.
    --- Post Merged, Mar 16, 2018 ---
    Lol. :)
     
  16. duffman9000, Mar 17, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018

    duffman9000 macrumors 68000

    duffman9000

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    #17
    I have a doozy. But it probably will be offensive. Oh well, here it goes.
    Get a bottle and write "pen 15" on it*. Ask:
    Are you tired, worn down, listless? Do you poop out at parties? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle.

    *slight edit
     
  17. Zenithal macrumors G3

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    #18
    Vitaveetavegamin? Seriously?


    And this is me openly admitting I've watched and am obviously a fan of I Love Lucy.
     
  18. duffman9000 macrumors 68000

    duffman9000

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    #19
    Vitaveetavegamin is not what's in the bottle I'm referencing. I think Dave Chapelle told this joke much better, and dirtier, than I can here.
     
  19. Mac'nCheese Suspended

    Mac'nCheese

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    #20
    Penis. Right? You meant a penis. You can say that here.
     
  20. duffman9000 macrumors 68000

    duffman9000

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    #21
    LOL :D:D:D
     
  21. LIVEFRMNYC macrumors 604

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    #22
    Is that before or after the grab? :p
     
  22. Glockworkorange macrumors 68000

    Glockworkorange

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    #23
    I used to tell girls I was a dolphin trainer at the Shedd Aquarium (in Chicago). Never mind the Shedd doesn't have dolphins. Women ate that up.
     
  23. Zenithal macrumors G3

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    #24
    If at a wedding:

    "This could be us one day." While you wave toward the newly married couple.
     
  24. chown33 macrumors 604

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    betwixt
    #25
    Make the bard female, then go watch some Mae West movies. I think you'll have a lot of material.
     

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33 March 16, 2018