Cynthia Nixon On Being Gay: 'For Me It's A Choice'

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Queen of Spades, Jan 23, 2012.

  1. Queen of Spades macrumors 68030

    Queen of Spades

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    #1
    While I certainly think there are no absolutes in sexuality, Cynthia Nixon is also bisexual. So in her case, she can and does choose whether or not her partner is same sex or opposite sex. Making a blanket statement about being "gay" being a choice, however, is problematic in my opinion.

    For me and many others, there was no choice involved.

    Lots of the commenters seem to be behind her in thinking being gay is more of a choice than gay people would like the world to believe. I have some thoughts on this, you?

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/23/cynthia-nixon-wit-being-gay_n_1223889.html?ref=gay-voices

     
  2. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #2
    Cynthia Nixon should just say she's bi and be done with it. I wonder, did she choose to be bi?
     
  3. MorphingDragon, Jan 23, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2012

    MorphingDragon macrumors 603

    MorphingDragon

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    #3
    As we all know Superpowers aren't a choice.

    Real bisexuals have the following superpowers (You know, like X-men ;)):

    1)Ability to make everyone jealous and horny at the same time
    2)Superpower of wanting to sleep with everyone except you
    3)Superpower of annoying straights and gays in equal measure
    4)Tendency to mouth off when someone gives them **** :D
    5)The ability to eat Taco while being stuffed.

    If they lack one of the above superpowers or favour BBQ ripple ice cream, then they are a fake bisexual. :rolleyes:
     
  4. eawmp1 macrumors 601

    eawmp1

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    #4
    I kinda of get what she is TRYING to say/do.

    However, she is bisexual. She may choose to get her groove on with a man or a woman at any particular time, but being sexually attracted to both genders doesn't make her straight or gay, but bi.
     
  5. steve knight macrumors 68020

    steve knight

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    #5
    no one can choose who they are sexually attracted too. You can choose who you have sex with but you can't choose attraction.
     
  6. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #6
    I can't choose to have sex with a woman (the plumbing won't work), so no- that's not true.
     
  7. mobilehaathi macrumors G3

    mobilehaathi

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    #7
    There is nothing wrong with it being a choice, but it isn't a choice for everyone. Woah, big surprise that things aren't black and white. Anyway, it seems to me that people who choose to regularly be with a particular sex are really bisexuals who, for whatever reasons, prefer the sex they've chosen to be with.

    I, for one, did not choose to be straight.
     
  8. Queen of Spades thread starter macrumors 68030

    Queen of Spades

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    #8
    As I said, I think her statement applies to her because she's bisexual. So if she met two people she was attracted to, one male, one female, she could theoretically choose to be with the female. I don't think it's the same thing as choosing to be gay, and I think her blanket statement doesn't apply to people that are gay and not bisexual.

    Yes, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a case somewhere in the world of a person who is gay claiming that they 100% chose to be gay and could be heterosexual if they wanted to be, but I've never met a single one. I think her statement is false way more than it's ever true.

    More importantly, I think her statement does more harm than it does good, given the details of her personal life and also the state of gay rights in this country.
     
  9. mobilehaathi macrumors G3

    mobilehaathi

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    #9
    I completely agree with you. Blanket statements are almost always wrong. Unfortunately, anti-gay idiots will use this as 'proof' that sexuality is always choice, which is of course false. I have always maintained, though, that the choice argument is a red herring, as it is completely irrelevant to the issues of gay (human) rights. The problem is that a lot of people find it much easier to hate someone for their choices than for something they have no control over.
     
  10. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #10
    The problem here is that being gay is not a choice, period. Cynthia Nixon is bisexual. I have a big problem with her saying that being bisexual is the same as being gay- it's not. Bisexuals have a choice between the sexes, gay people do not. Her insistence of calling herself gay is offensive to me, because she's not gay.
     
  11. mobilehaathi macrumors G3

    mobilehaathi

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    #11
    Again, I agree here. I mentioned above that I believe that people who 'choose' are bisexuals.
     
  12. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #12
    I think she needs to address that and be honest with herself and the pubic then.
     
  13. mobilehaathi macrumors G3

    mobilehaathi

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    #13
    Yep, unfortunately she is doing more harm than good.
     
  14. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

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    #14
    And the Religious Right will beat this to death, unless she clarifies her libido.

    And with all the publicity she is getting, for both herself and her new show, why would she? :rolleyes:
     
  15. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #15
    This is so what we don't need right now.
     
  16. Hey Jude macrumors 6502a

    Hey Jude

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    #16
    To be fair: I read the Huffpo article earlier today, and she was very careful to issue a disclaimer that those were her views, and no one eles's.

    I agree. Her choice of words were ill advised, and will be used as fodder for those that seek to deny us our equal rights.

    I also completely concur. I am not certain why she muddies the water by bringing choice into any discussion regarding her sexuality when she is very clearly bisexual, and therefore can choose to bed a person from either gender.
     
  17. Queen of Spades thread starter macrumors 68030

    Queen of Spades

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    #17
    This quote drives me batty. The "litmus test" for being gay is being attracted to the same sex. This isn't like when hipsters call themselves "queer" as a political statement when they're not actually gay.

    I'm not going to lie, she's bugged me since the first day she came out. I wish there weren't so few out gay celebrities that so much focus is given to those that are.
     
  18. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #18
    It's like when Anne Heche came out- ridiculous.
     
  19. thekev macrumors 604

    thekev

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    #19
    In her case, couldn't you just call her an "attention whore" and be done with it :D? I don't mean sexual attention. I mean attention of any kind. She sounds like she is just self promoting here.
     
  20. Ugg macrumors 68000

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    #20
    It's her right to have an opinion and if she believes that she is gay and straight, hey, then that's what she believes.

    I disagree with you about her statement doing more harm than good. Being forced to toe the party line is never good. Open, honest discussion does more for the cause than sound bites repeated ad nauseum.


    This isn't about anti gay bigots. This is about an individual's right to express her opinion. Anything that furthers the discussion in my mind is a good thing. The percentage of people who think that all gays choose to be that way is shrinking so I don't see any point in going back into the closet to satisfy a small percentage of the population.
     
  21. Queen of Spades thread starter macrumors 68030

    Queen of Spades

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    #21
    I meant that her statement will be fuel for those that seek to deprive gay people of certain civil rights, since they likely won't read and understand the full statement. In the context of her bisexuality, her statement is true. When taken as a statement from a gay person, it has a markedly different impact.

    I'm all for open, honest discussion, but she also has to be mindful of who she is, what she is saying, and what impact it has on the community she considers herself a part of.

    ----------

    Well, in her opinion her relationship with women are a choice. So I'm not sure how she'd ever be going back into the closet.
     
  22. HarryPot macrumors 6502a

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    #22
    Couldn't it be something along the next lines?:

    - At a young age (9-11, maybe even younger) you chose that you prefer men/women. Obviously when you grow up to adulthood you can no longer choose wether to like men or women, you already chose that when you were younger and had lived your life that way for many years.


    What makes me think about it not being genetical is that by that logic gay people should tend to decrease with time until eventually they don't no longer exist. Gay couples need to adopt, and so they don't pass on their genes to a next generation. By many generations (hundred of years), wouldn't that particular gene that makes men like men or women like women disappear?

    Of course, in the past many gay people were forced by social pressure to marry and have kids, and so maybe what I said above doesn't applies right now. But in the future, would it apply?
     
  23. Moyank24 macrumors 601

    Moyank24

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    #23
    I can assure you that I never made a choice to be gay. Not at 9, not at 13, not at 19. Never.

    Did you make a conscious choice to be heterosexual?

    And as far as children - I can also assure you that not all gay couples need to adopt. I carried and gave birth to my 2 children.
     
  24. Queen of Spades thread starter macrumors 68030

    Queen of Spades

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    #24
    Gay people can certainly pass their genetic material on to their children, as gay people can be both biological mothers and fathers.

    More importantly, sexuality cannot be attributed primarily to genetics.
     
  25. Ugg macrumors 68000

    Ugg

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    #25
    Until science can provide absolute, without a doubt proof that being gay is something we're born with, we're going to have to put up with those who would stone us. Not only that, but there are a lot of us who aren't all that certain where those urges came from.

    I agree that her statement will only add fuel to the fire of right wing, religious zealots, but I also believe that enough progress has been made that we can allow those among us who have questions to voice their dissent.

    She has the right to say what she wants. She shouldn't have to be looking over her shoulder, afraid that she'll offend someone with her opinion.
     

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