do you have any favourite quotes??

Discussion in 'Community' started by evoluzione, Mar 25, 2003.

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  1. evoluzione macrumors 68020


    Jul 19, 2002
    down the road, that's where i'll always be
    so i was wondering if anyone has any favourite quotes...a lot of peeps put one or two on their signature (like me) but i have a load that i like...

    for example...

    On Thursday, you will look up to the sky and see a cloud shaped like a banana. You?ll be pretty pumped about this.

    "I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand"

    "A bank will only lend you money if you can prove to them that you really and truly do not need it"

    "In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock"

    "Mediocrity recognises nothing higher than itself. Talent instantly recognises genius"

    and some quotes to do with Liverpool Football Club... :)

    "For those of you watching in black and white, Liverpool are the team with the ball." - fans

    "Mind, I've been here during the bad times too. One year we came second." - Bob Paisley

    "Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I am very disappointed with that attitude, I can assure you it is much more important than that." - Bill Shankly

    "My favourite player in the whole world is Michael Owen." - Pelé

    "It's not about the long ball, or the short ball, it's about the right ball." - Bob Paisley

    "Anfield without European Football is like a banquet without wine." - Roy Evans

    "I'd certainly like to be as, er, big as Lara Croft one day." - Michael Owen

    "Are you Shankly in disguise?" - fans
  2. eyelikeart Moderator emeritus


    Jan 2, 2001
    Metairie, LA
    "never fall in love with your first idea"
    -my first graphic design instructor

    "measure twice...cut once"
    -my dad
  3. vniow macrumors G4

    Jul 18, 2002
    I accidentally my whole location.
    You ain't a baby no more, baby
    You ain't no bigger than before, baby
    I'll rub that cheek right off your lips, baby
    So take a swallow as I spit, baby

    Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
  4. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    May 19, 2002
    From Will Rogers

    "Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in."

    "If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there."

    "If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around."

    "After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

    The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut."

    "Never kick a cow chip on a hot day."

    "There're two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works."

    "If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging."

    Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco."

    "It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep."

    "The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket."

    "Don't squat with your spurs on."

    "Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

    "Never miss a good chance to shut up."

    "Always drink upstream from the herd."

    "When you're "throwing your weight around," be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else."

    "There are three kinds of men:
    1. The ones that learn by reading.
    2. The few who learn by observation.
    3. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."

    "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
  5. scem0 macrumors 604


    Jul 16, 2002
    back in NYC!
    "My twinkies look shtinky on the benz" - Missy Elliot

    Something like "We constantly try to change the world, but we
    never change ourselves" by someone I forgot.
  6. zimv20 macrumors 601


    Jul 18, 2002
    Re: From Will Rogers

    that is AWESOME

    I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have
    of it. -Thomas Jefferson, third US president, architect and author

    Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.
    -Mignon McLaughlin, author

    Women mature faster than girls. -me
  7. G4scott macrumors 68020


    Jan 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    "Before you criticize or insult somebody, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes..."

    "You just have to accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue."

    "The sex was so good, even the neighbors had a cigarette."

    And of course, from my sig:

    "The best way to accelerate your pee-cee is at 9.81 m/s^2"

    There are a few others that are more sentimental, like this one (I think you all know where it came from)

    "Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do..."

    I need to dig up some of my better ones...
  8. Kwyjibo macrumors 68040


    Nov 5, 2002
    "the B*tch set me up" Mayor of DC
    "The busines of America is business" Calvin Coolidge
    "When people are put out of work, unemployment results" Calvin Coolidge
    "The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today" FDR
    "only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I"m not sure about the former" Albert Einstein
    "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function" F. Scott Fitzgerald
  9. NavyIntel007 macrumors 65816


    Nov 24, 2002
    Tampa, FL
    "Man was born to live in the convulsions of distress or the lethargy of boredom" ~ Voltaire
  10. alex_ant macrumors 68020


    Feb 5, 2002
    All up in your bidness
    "The best English is simple English. Plain speaking. If you don't know what you're talking about, you're going to gobbledygook yourself up." -- John Lydon


    Samuel Beckett: I wanted also to ask you about the eggman from "I Am the Walrus."
    John Lennon: Jerry.
    Sam: What? Who?
    John: Jerry Furman, he was our eggman. Every Saturday Jerry would come round and Mum would give him a bob for a dozen eggs. Once, while he was inside the house, I peeked into the back of his van. So many eggs! I'd never seen anything like it! God, I wanted his job!
    Sam: So the eggman was Jerry! Why didn't you put that in the lyric of "Glass Onion" as well, like "and here's some good advice for the way / the eggman was Jerry."
    John: No, no! I couldn't have done that!
    Sam: Why not?
    John: Furman was a very private bloke! I mean, ****, Paul was fair game. He'd already adjusted to the public. Furman's gig was eggs, just eggs. People would have ****ing hounded him to death! Anyway, he left after a time. We got a new, nastier eggman when I was about twelve. Jerry moved to Pennsylvania, Maryland, or someplace like that. Just one of the many fascinating commodity "men" I watched when I was small.
    Sam: Lord, yes! There was a man for everything, wasn't there?
    John: Now that you mention it, Christ, there was a milkman, a breadman, a fruitman, garbageman, rag-and-bone man.
    Sam: Neighborhood life was a parade! There was the postman, policeman, fireman, telephone man, insurance man, Fuller Brush man, the Culligan man, the Maytag repairman.
    John: Right! And always they'd identify themselves as such, like they didn't have a name or something. I mean, you'd hear this rap-rap-rap on the door followed by a muffled "milkman," or "eggman," or whatever!
    Sam: Thank heaven that's all stopped. Can you imagine the cacophony in this age of overspecialized marketing?
    John: And what on earth would "I Am the Walrus" have sounded like? Ha, ha, ha!
    Sam: What?
    John: Rap-rap-rap! Hemorrhoid Reeferman! Hemorrhoidman! Need anything up yours today?
    Sam: Rap-rap-rap! Tweezerman!
    John: Rap-rap-rap! Hola! Yardstickman here! Yardstickman!
    Sam: Or in the rural areas: Rap-rap-rap! Pitchforkman! Pitchforkman!
    John: Or for the Pinteresque machinists: Rap-rap-rap! High speed, tapered shank, spiral flube reamerman! Any high-speed, tapered shank, spiral flube reamers today?
    Sam: Rap-rap-rap! Astronaut! Rap-rap-rap! Paperclipman!
    John: Door-to-door Einstein! Rap-rap-rap! Cosmologyman! Theoretical physicsman! Fresh picked photoelectric effects! Nice pipe unified field theories!
    Sam: Rap-rap-rap! Beanman!
    John: What? Beanman? You mean like navy beans and kidney beans, like that?
    Sam: Yes! That's it!
    John: That's what I could have said. "I am the beanman, they are the beanman, I am the bovus! Toot toot toot toot!"
    Sam: Rap-rap-rap! Fartman! Fartman!
  11. Nuc macrumors 6502a


    Jan 20, 2003
    "If a woman tells me what to do, I say hey!, get your b*tch a*s back in the kitchen and make me some pie!!!"

    "Screw you guys I'm going home"

    "Noo kitty that's a bad kitty, nooo kitty that's my pot pie"

    All courtesy of Eric Cartman. So sue me I'm a South Park fan..... :D
  12. LethalWolfe macrumors G3


    Jan 11, 2002
    Los Angeles
    "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." --?

  13. 3rdpath macrumors 68000


    Jan 7, 2002
    2nd star on the right and straight till morning
    not a quote...but you can quote me...


    Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly: and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser person than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in you own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affaires; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be your self. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceiver Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
  14. ShaolinMiddleFinger macrumors 6502a


    Oct 12, 2001
    Three magical words to get a woman's heart:

    "Here, have another...."

  15. edesignuk Moderator emeritus


    Mar 25, 2002
    London, England
  16. maradong macrumors 65816


    Mar 7, 2003
    those i like most are these:

    copy @ will :)

    "In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
    - George Orwell

    "The man who is able to look on war without feeling disgust is not a human being, but a patriot."
    - Kurt Tucholsky

    "If you can look into the seeds of time, and say which grain will grow and which will not, speak then unto me"
    - William Shakespeare

    "Naturally, the common people don't want war, but after all, is it the leafers of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag people along whether is a democraty, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every county."
    - Hermann Goering @ the Nuremberg Trials after WWII.
  17. beez7777 macrumors 6502a


    Aug 5, 2002
    Notre Dame
    "All you need is love." - the beatles

    "If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
    - Carl Sagan

    "Hate the sin, love the sinner." - Gandhi

    "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
    -Terry Pratchett.

    "The farther one travels, the less one knows." - the beatles.

    i have a whole bunch more, but i gotta go to school now. :D
  18. WinterMute Moderator emeritus


    Jan 19, 2003
    London, England
    Illegitimi non carborundum (Don't let the bas**rds grind you down).

    Just because you're not paranoid, it doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

    Don't sweat the small stuff.
  19. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    May 19, 2002
    Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
    -- P.J. O'Rourke
  20. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Nov 1, 2001
    What, no Monty Python?

    "Its only a flesh wound"

    "And now for something completely different"

    "Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time"

    "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our cheif weapons are ....."

    "Wait for it, wait for it"

    "He's an ex-parrot!"

    "Death awaits you all with big nasty pointy teeth!"

    I could go on for quite some time....

    D :D
  21. evoluzione thread starter macrumors 68020


    Jul 19, 2002
    down the road, that's where i'll always be

    "We are no longer the Knights who say Ni, but the Knights who say, Icky Icky Icky..."
  22. runningman macrumors regular

    Jan 8, 2003
    Look wise, say nothing and grount. Speech was given to conceal thought.

    One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.

    The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals. -Osler

    If you wish to move the world. First move yourself. -Socrates

    A most excellent adventure. -Bill and Ted

    I crap bigger than you. -Fat Bastard

    As Socrates once said, "I drank what?" - Val Kilmer Real Genius

    All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning. -Camus

    Never get a mime talking he won't stop. -Marcel Marceau

    An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile -hoping it will eat him last -Churchill

    A dead atheist is someone who's all dressed up with no place to go. -Duffery

    Winners forget they're in a race. They just love to run. -Anon

    The manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be endured. -Acheson
  23. evoluzione thread starter macrumors 68020


    Jul 19, 2002
    down the road, that's where i'll always be
    hmm, dog's eat grass to make themselves regurgitate, so they feel better...

    but cool quotes, i like the first one, i do that :p
  24. Kwyjibo macrumors 68040


    Nov 5, 2002
    "It takes two to lie, one ot lie and one to listen" Homer
    "You've got to hide me, there are three bears chasing after me, theres a dsipute over some porridge" Jay Sherman
    "See that ship over there, they're rebraodcasting Major LEague Baseball with implied oral conest instead of expressed written conset; or so the legend goes"Homer
    One of my stoner friends "I used to get high on life, but then I built up a tolerance"
  25. evoluzione thread starter macrumors 68020


    Jul 19, 2002
    down the road, that's where i'll always be
    "Do you know what nemesis means?" - Bricktop

    "Jeez, good in 'ere ain' it" - from the film "lock, stock..."

    "I'm starvin', heh. I'm Lee Marvin" - from the film "sexy beast"

    "All your dreams are made, when you're chained to a mirror and a razor blade"......."Another sunny afternoon, walking to the sound ofmy favourite tune" - Oasis

    "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Sir Winston Churchill

    "it's alright, it's only Ray Parlour" - Tim Lovejoy just before ~that~ goal in the FA Cup final.
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