Don't understand it...why?

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Illuminated, Sep 30, 2010.

  1. Illuminated macrumors 6502a

    Illuminated

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Location:
    Denver
    #1
    So there's this girl I've got feelings for...but she has a boyfriend, but her boyfriend seems like a total douche bag. Why is it that the beautiful girl is dating a douche? What ever happened to the honest, nice guys like me?


    Ugh I'll never get a gf.


    I need to understand this. someone help.
     
  2. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

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    Jul 4, 2004
  3. OutThere macrumors 603

    OutThere

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    Dec 19, 2002
    Location:
    NYC
    #3
    Because the douche isn't whining about how girls don't get with him.
     
  4. tpg macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2010
    #4
    True... but there's nothing to suggest that the OP is being "needy", is there? He's having an anonymous rant on a forum, which to me seems like a good way of letting off steam.

    OP: I think a lot of us have been in the same situation, and yes it can be pretty horrible. "There are plenty of fish in the sea" might seem a bit harsh at first, but it sums up how you should probably handle this situation quite well.

    Stay cool, and try to meet new people (clubs, societies, sports, music etc. are all good ways), and I'm sure things will get better :)
     
  5. Illuminated thread starter macrumors 6502a

    Illuminated

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    Sep 25, 2008
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    Denver
    #5
    I'm just venting...that's all. Just upsets me that girls are so ignorant I guess...

    What ever. It's life.



    /rant.
     
  6. citizenzen macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
    #6
    Definitely not PRSI worthy.

    But here's a tip... either be a douche yourself, buy a new car, be patient enough to wait for a more mature woman, or look around you at all the girls who don't look like barbie and would love to have a guy notice them.
     
  7. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2004
    #7
    That's not a good place to start from. Perhaps you should try broadening your opportunities to meet other girls, instead of letting your feelings get the better of you by zeroing in on someone who is already in an existing relationship.
     
  8. dmr727 macrumors G3

    dmr727

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    Dec 29, 2007
    Location:
    Southern California
    #8
    They're not ignorant - they're just attracted to confidence. Go get some.
     
  9. jonbravo77 macrumors 6502a

    jonbravo77

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    Feb 20, 2008
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    #9
    A) lumping girl(s) as in plural as in you mean all girls are ignorant is not the way to think, and may be 1 or your issues in the first place.

    B) like some others have said, to expect a girl that is already in a relationship (either good or bad) to just see you and dump whomever she is with to go out with you is naive at best.

    C) if the guy she is with is in fact a douche (putting aside your own personal perception of him) than she may have some major self esteem issues that you would inherent and you would most likely regret what you wanted so bad..

    Thank you for your time
     
  10. Gelfin macrumors 68020

    Gelfin

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2001
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    #10
    So there's this girl I've got feelings for...but she has a boyfriend, but her boyfriend is the nicest effing guy in the world, like if I were just a little bit gayer I'd be pining over him instead, and if only he were just a little bit of a douche bag, she and I would totally run away together and not think a thing about it, but she recognizes what a good thing she has and feels like she ought to hold on to it. Why is it that the beautiful girl is dating an unbelievably nice guy? What ever happened to douchey boyfriends you can charm women away from without feeling like a total scumbag?

    Moral of the story: your perception of the world is not the world, women are individual people, not Women, and timing is the biggest bitch in the world for everybody.
     
  11. fivepoint macrumors 65816

    fivepoint

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    Sep 28, 2007
    Location:
    IOWA
    #11
    In my experience, many young women - even otherwise intelligent ones - are attracted to this type of man. I think more than anything it has to do with confidence levels. Many young women want to date the men with the most confidence or perceived ability/talent/chrisma possible. They're naturally drawn to arrogance (which is also perceived as 'douchiness' as you pointed out).

    However, this is obviously dependent on the individual not true for all women. Be who you are, honor matters most... be nice, be a gentlemen... and if you want (without being a douche) try and be a bit more confident. Everyone likes confidence.
     
  12. samiwas macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    #12
    Oh, the directions I could go with this. First of all, I'd like to know your age, so we could see where you are coming from. This discussion is very different for a 15- or a 25-year-old.

    My situation was exactly like yours up until my mid 20's. I was a total "good-nice-guy". I would do anything any girl I thought was cute asked me to do. Even if it took hours out of my day, and was something that I never should have done, I would do it. I got used left and right, all the while thinking that my actions would make these girls see how wonderful I was and want to be with me. I'd "fall in love" at the drop of a hat...also thinking that my affection would land the girl.

    It never happened. Not once. Not ever. Not so much as an interest. Over the years I became more and more angry at the situation. I watched as all the other guys I worked with consistently pulled in some sort of tail. Some of them were complete D-bags, others were just normal, but confident guys. I never could understand it.

    Then, I met someone, although this time over the internet. We sort of meshed in some interesting and odd ways, and decided to meet in real life a few months later. She didn't fit the mold of what I thought I wanted to be with. But she turned me upside-down...as she was quite, uhhh...experienced. Once I finally got a dose of reality, I found my real self inside. I wasn't a whiny pushover. I didn't want to slither around like a slug hoping for some model to sweep me up. I gained a dose of confidence.

    I know, it's the word you hear everywhere....confidence. And like you probably do now, that was the worst word ever. To me, confidence = douchey. And in many occasions, it is. There IS such a thing as over-confident, or fake confidence. And then there are just douches.

    Like someone said above, if the guys you are referring to really are complete douchebags, I'd really bet that the girls that are with them are NOT girls you want to be with. I think back to a lot of the girls that I swooned over back in the day, and I could not imagine being with them now. Most of them are completely useless, or I just couldn't put up with their crap. I still know most of them, or at least keep up on Facebook.

    I haven't been single for more than a couple of months at a time since that first girl. Now, I know it sounds like I'm saying you need to meet a girl to get it, and the problem is getting the girl in the first place. However, what REALLY changed me, was finally working on a show with people who fit "me". Before that, I was with people I just didn't mesh with. Once I found my place, my life changed.

    What you need is to find what fits you. It's been said...being the sweet, nice guy is usually perceived as being sort of needy...almost like you need a girl to be happy. The girls want to see a guy who is happy anyway, who has something they want to experience. Generally, that means confidence.

    The nice, sweet guy thing rarely ever works, until you get older. The jerk thing works, but generally brings in quite undesirable women in my opinion. There is a middle ground...and it's where the happiest ones survive.
     
  13. MattSepeta macrumors 65816

    MattSepeta

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    Jul 9, 2009
    Location:
    375th St. Y
    #13
    Hate to break it to you...

    1. You make your own fortune/luck. Face it.

    2. I used to feel the same way. In retrospect- It's YOU, not THEM, sorry.

    Cowboy up and do some work, whining about it accomplishes nothing and simply further reinforces the notion that you are a victim of the "ignorance of women," which is quite the absurd statement and so far off base.

    That being said, good luck :p
     
  14. Mac'nCheese macrumors 68030

    Mac'nCheese

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    #14
    Why is she dating a douche? Maybe he is better looking then you. After all, you wrote that she is beautiful. Not smart, or funny, or nice. Maybe girls look for hot guys just like guys look for hot girls.
     
  15. Mousse macrumors 68000

    Mousse

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2008
    Location:
    Flea Bottom, King's Landing
    #15
    Sour grapes, methinks. You've got the hots for a girl, but she likes someone else. He's gotta be a douche bag. Green eyed monster logic.

    Beautiful women are overrated, IMO. Do yourself a favor when finding a woman. Forget about looks, forget about personality; because beauty fades and personality changes. Find yourself a good cook. That only gets better with age. Take this from a man who was 130lbs before marriage and 200lbs after years of marriage.:)
     
  16. iJon macrumors 604

    iJon

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2002
    #16
    I recommend you go read some of David Deangelo's material if you're looking for some answers.

    That is unless you'd rather pout and complain to Internet forums.
     
  17. CorvusCamenarum macrumors 65816

    CorvusCamenarum

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    Location:
    Birmingham, AL
    #17
    Roissy is a better source, and a better writer to boot.
     
  18. iJon macrumors 604

    iJon

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2002
    #18
    Hmm, I've read a bunch of these guys articles but never heard of this guy. Either way, reading help from any of these guys will lead him in the right direction.

    I'll have to go check this guy out.
     
  19. CorvusCamenarum macrumors 65816

    CorvusCamenarum

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    Location:
    Birmingham, AL
    #19
    He has a blog, used to be called "Roissy in DC", now styled "Citizen Renegade".
     

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