Dr. Laura on Homos

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Huntn, Sep 28, 2011.

  1. Huntn macrumors G5

    Huntn

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    #1
    I picked this up in another venue. Actually I don't know anything about her, but found this hilarious! It illustrates what happens when you try to take ancient text literally. But wait, ancient texts are the word of God and are indisputable! ;) :

    On her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, which was posted on the Internet:

    Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

    1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev. 15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

    7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

    9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

    Your adoring fan,

    James M Kauffman, Ed.D.
    Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
    Thanks Peter Franz
     
  2. soco macrumors 68030

    soco

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  3. Pink∆Floyd macrumors 68020

    Pink∆Floyd

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  4. quagmire, Sep 28, 2011
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2011

    quagmire macrumors 603

    quagmire

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    #4
    Dr. Laura is for going back to the 1950's where women are in the kitchen and were to serve their husband. My mom listens to her occasionally and it disgusts me every time a woman calls about her marriage problems, that almost without fail she always tries to get the woman to stay with the husband and almost seems like it was her fault for the husband's actions. It didn't matter what the husband did.

    But, more on topic, this is hilarious.
     
  5. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #5
    That's one of the best things I've ever seen. Thanks for posting.
     
  6. likemyorbs macrumors 68000

    likemyorbs

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    #6
    She should team up with all the nutjob christian radio show hosts so they can all be stupid together.
     
  7. charlesbronsen macrumors 6502a

    charlesbronsen

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    #7
    " Why can’t I own Canadians?" hahaha I love it!!
     
  8. yg17 macrumors G5

    yg17

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    #8
    That letter is about as old as the Old Testament itself, but I still enjoy reading it :D
     
  9. Huntn thread starter macrumors G5

    Huntn

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    #9
    Tip for single guys...at ChristianSingles.com, understanding the scripture as they do, the question is expected before the date is arranged... :p
     
  10. Thomas Veil macrumors 68020

    Thomas Veil

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    #10
    Dr. Laura used to be on a radio station around these parts. Listened to her a few times, and you know what? She's a bully. On the radio she tries to make it sound like toughlove, but really, she seemed to enjoy picking apart and humiliating the callers that sought help from her.

    So this is absolutely no surprise.
     
  11. Tomorrow macrumors 604

    Tomorrow

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    #11
    I doubt the good Professor really wishes to play football, but he need not worry - notwithstanding that many players do, in fact, wear gloves to play football, that particular item is fashioned from cattle hide, not the skin of a pig as one of its nicknames might suggest.
     
  12. renewed macrumors 68040

    renewed

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    #12
    Shhh you're messing up the anti-christian's out-of-context chain letter humor.
     
  13. likemyorbs macrumors 68000

    likemyorbs

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    #13
    actually, it's anti-jewish this time around. and how exactly is it out of context?
     
  14. mobilehaathi macrumors G3

    mobilehaathi

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    #14
    actually it is anti-selectively-choosing-what-to-take-literally-from-a-religious-text.

    Seriously though, why can't I own a Canadian?
     
  15. likemyorbs macrumors 68000

    likemyorbs

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    #15
    You can. :confused:
     
  16. renewed macrumors 68040

    renewed

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    #16
    Actually it is selectively choosing a verse without proper connotation and without quoting it with the rest of the chapter to provoke uneducated emotions against said religion claiming that it means what it says.

    Watch:

    Guys that is just wrong!

    ----

    I edited a lot out but if I quote it like this and this is all anyone sees they will definitely get the wrong idea.
     
  17. likemyorbs macrumors 68000

    likemyorbs

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    #17
    Enlighten us then, quote the rest of the chapter, or any other parts of the chapter that would make this verse sound any less stupid/primitive. Also, you misquoted me on the selling my daughter comment, that was someone else.

    Also, do you agree or disagree with "Dr." Laura?
     
  18. renewed macrumors 68040

    renewed

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    #18
    Sorry I misquoted you on selling your daughter. I still don't think you should sell her though.
     
  19. likemyorbs macrumors 68000

    likemyorbs

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    #19
    Fine, you win, I won't sell her. But the mormon who was about to buy her was willing to pay a pretty penny. :mad:
     
  20. (marc) macrumors 6502a

    (marc)

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    #20
    This might interest ChefMacDaddy...
     
  21. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

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  22. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

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    #23
    Charlie is no Martin. :D
     
  23. Heilage macrumors 68030

    Heilage

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    #24
    One of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite shows.
     
  24. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

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    #25

    Based on that clip, I'm going to check it out. Never watched it.
     

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