Camper van thief siphons off raw sewage instead of diesel By Calum Macdonald A BUNGLING thief tried to siphon diesel from a camper van but got a mouthful of raw sewage. The would-be raider missed the fuel tank in the dark and put a tube into the van's septic tank by mistake. And after sucking up the foul-smelling waste, he threw up on the spot and fled. Pensioner John O'Hare found a puddle of vomit and an abandoned petrol container when he stepped out of the van in the morning. And last night he smiled: 'I hope the thief has learned from his experience and given up his evil ways.' John, 73, and wife May, 69 of Arden, Glasgow had spent a week touring Scotland before stopping off for the final night of their holiday in Helensburgh, Dunbartonshire. John said: 'We made sure everything was safe and secure and settled down for the night. The following morning we were disgusted to find that under the cover of darkness a thief had attempted to siphon off diesel from the fuel tank. 'But fortunately for us, he was left with a nasty taste in his mouth.' John found a plastic siphon tube and an empty fuel container next to their camper. The contents of the septic tank had been drained and lay on the ground next to a pool of the thief's vomit. Also abandoned at the scene was a pile of pound coins which John believes may have been stolen from a vending machine earlier in the night. John and May donated the abandoned pound coins to Oxfam. John said: 'We hope this thief will give up robbing visitors and tourists seeking a peaceful and pleasant holiday after what happened to him.' ===== Nasty.