Giddy Jobs Can't Wait For Macworld NY, Spills Beans.


macrumors newbie
Original poster
Jun 18, 2002
I just read this on "Crazy Apple Rumors Site" and was wondering if it holds any truths. What do you think?

Giddy Jobs Can't Wait For Macworld NY, Spills Beans.

At a hastily convened press conference today, an exuberant Apple CEO Steve Jobs revealed four product announcements the company had been saving for next month's Macworld New York.

Jobs' haphazard, wandering presentation began with new PowerMacs, ranging in speeds up to 1.4 GHz, including a modified enclosure that allowed for the addition of a second optical drive.

"This one's pretty cool," Jobs said, "But wait until you see the other ones!"

Thrusting aside the new PowerMac, Jobs snatched up a revamped PowerBook. Speed-bumped to 1 GHz, the new PowerBooks also feature faster hard drives and a larger track pad that can be used as a pen input tablet. An improved iBook also features the same track pad that will make use of Jaguar's handwriting recognition capabilities.

Still giggling like a school girl, Jobs then moved on to demonstrate the new iPod. With a 20 Gb hard drive and a larger screen, now in color, the iPod can show images synced through iPhoto or play movies through QuickTime.

"Isn't this great!?" Jobs exclaimed, demonstrating the trailer to Spider-Man on the iPod's screen. "Oh, man, I just love this thing! I know I was supposed to wait until July 17th, but... but... I just couldn't!"

Members of the press expressed surprise at Jobs' impromptu press conference, particularly considering one of Jobs' first acts as CEO was to crack down on employees who were feeding the rumor mill in the Macintosh community.

"This is really weird," whispered the San Jose Mercury News' Dan Gillmor. "Does he realize he's ruining Macworld New York? They're not going to have anything to talk about."

"Has anyone told Schiller?"

"He did what?" Apple Senior Vice President for Worldwide Product Marketing Phil Schiller said, upon receiving a phone call informing him Jobs had spilled the beans. "The PowerMac? The PowerBook and the iBook? And the iPod?! Are you frickin' kidding me?!"

"Oh, crap. No, no. Stay there, I'm coming down."

Rushing to the elevator, Schiller said "I know he's been excited about these products, but... holy crap. I mean, what the heck are we going to talk about in New York?"

Shaking his head and repeatedly pounding the elevator button, Schiller added "Do you have any idea how expensive it is to rent the Jacob Javits Center? It's really frickin' expensive!"

As he entered the elevator and the doors began to close, Schiller repeated to himself "Crap. Crap, crap, crap."


macrumors newbie
Jun 4, 2002
Newark, Delaware
Crazy Apple Rumors is a Parody Site

The Crazy Apple Rumors site is a goof. Their disclaimer reads as follows:

"Crazy Apple Rumors Site is dedicated to the fabrication of Apple rumors that defy verifiability, grammatical convention or any basis in reality."

If you read the other stories contained therein, you see that they are all written with tongue firmly in cheek.


macrumors 65816
Jun 14, 2002
It sounds like Jobs was high and drunk and the other guy sounded like he has minor Terrets Syndrome.


macrumors regular
Jan 9, 2002
hahahahahaha. that was just funny, about jobs being stoned and drunk, and the schiller with the syndrome. just funny, try to imagine it (the whole article)


macrumors regular
Feb 1, 2002
North Carolina
CARS kicks major @$$. Of all the Mac linkage I hit up on a daily basis, their website is the one I'm usually most eager to see updated in the early afternoon.

It used to be good ol AtAT, but thanks to that entire baby thing their consistency has been (understandably) lacking... plus CARS has parodied just about everything that's odd or loony about us Mac addicts.

Gotta love 'em.:cool: :D


macrumors 6502
Apr 29, 2002
Portland, Maine
I think what PBailey meant in saying 'if it holds any truths' is 'could any of the new product specs be real?' I'm quite certain he's intelligent enough to figure out CARS doesn't report news, so don't jump on him; he didn't say that.


macrumors 6502a
May 28, 2001
Great rumors hehehe.
I always enjoyed the rumors from crazy macrumors.
hehehe, funny...


macrumors member
Jun 16, 2002
Hyannis, MA
lol, the trackpads were believable, but the color iPods YEAH RIGHT!!
And how could they know exactly what schiller was saying when he was near the elevator? carzy mac rumors is so CRAZY:confused:
Register on MacRumors! This sidebar will go away, and you'll see fewer ads.