Giddy Jobs Can't Wait For Macworld NY, Spills Beans.

Discussion in 'Hardware Rumors' started by pbailey, Jun 18, 2002.

  1. pbailey macrumors newbie


    Jun 18, 2002
    I just read this on "Crazy Apple Rumors Site" and was wondering if it holds any truths. What do you think?

    Giddy Jobs Can't Wait For Macworld NY, Spills Beans.

    At a hastily convened press conference today, an exuberant Apple CEO Steve Jobs revealed four product announcements the company had been saving for next month's Macworld New York.

    Jobs' haphazard, wandering presentation began with new PowerMacs, ranging in speeds up to 1.4 GHz, including a modified enclosure that allowed for the addition of a second optical drive.

    "This one's pretty cool," Jobs said, "But wait until you see the other ones!"

    Thrusting aside the new PowerMac, Jobs snatched up a revamped PowerBook. Speed-bumped to 1 GHz, the new PowerBooks also feature faster hard drives and a larger track pad that can be used as a pen input tablet. An improved iBook also features the same track pad that will make use of Jaguar's handwriting recognition capabilities.

    Still giggling like a school girl, Jobs then moved on to demonstrate the new iPod. With a 20 Gb hard drive and a larger screen, now in color, the iPod can show images synced through iPhoto or play movies through QuickTime.

    "Isn't this great!?" Jobs exclaimed, demonstrating the trailer to Spider-Man on the iPod's screen. "Oh, man, I just love this thing! I know I was supposed to wait until July 17th, but... but... I just couldn't!"

    Members of the press expressed surprise at Jobs' impromptu press conference, particularly considering one of Jobs' first acts as CEO was to crack down on employees who were feeding the rumor mill in the Macintosh community.

    "This is really weird," whispered the San Jose Mercury News' Dan Gillmor. "Does he realize he's ruining Macworld New York? They're not going to have anything to talk about."

    "Has anyone told Schiller?"

    "He did what?" Apple Senior Vice President for Worldwide Product Marketing Phil Schiller said, upon receiving a phone call informing him Jobs had spilled the beans. "The PowerMac? The PowerBook and the iBook? And the iPod?! Are you frickin' kidding me?!"

    "Oh, crap. No, no. Stay there, I'm coming down."

    Rushing to the elevator, Schiller said "I know he's been excited about these products, but... holy crap. I mean, what the heck are we going to talk about in New York?"

    Shaking his head and repeatedly pounding the elevator button, Schiller added "Do you have any idea how expensive it is to rent the Jacob Javits Center? It's really frickin' expensive!"

    As he entered the elevator and the doors began to close, Schiller repeated to himself "Crap. Crap, crap, crap."
  2. SkipNewarkDE macrumors newbie

    Jun 4, 2002
    Newark, Delaware
    Crazy Apple Rumors is a Parody Site

    The Crazy Apple Rumors site is a goof. Their disclaimer reads as follows:

    "Crazy Apple Rumors Site is dedicated to the fabrication of Apple rumors that defy verifiability, grammatical convention or any basis in reality."

    If you read the other stories contained therein, you see that they are all written with tongue firmly in cheek.
  3. firewire2001 macrumors 6502a

    Apr 2, 2002
    Hong Kong
    haha.. i doubt it.. they have lots of jus plain funny articles there with no significance..
  4. theranch macrumors 6502

    Jan 3, 2002
    Atlantic City area
    I stopped...

    I stopped reading halfway through. Although this is a rumors site, that one is just plain silly.
  5. cb911 macrumors 601


    Mar 12, 2002
    BrisVegas, Australia
  6. G5orbust macrumors 65816


    Jun 14, 2002
    It sounds like Jobs was high and drunk and the other guy sounded like he has minor Terrets Syndrome.
  7. cornelius macrumors regular

    Jan 9, 2002
    hahahahahaha. that was just funny, about jobs being stoned and drunk, and the schiller with the syndrome. just funny, try to imagine it (the whole article)
  8. Skandranon macrumors regular

    Feb 1, 2002
    North Carolina
    CARS kicks major @$$. Of all the Mac linkage I hit up on a daily basis, their website is the one I'm usually most eager to see updated in the early afternoon.

    It used to be good ol AtAT, but thanks to that entire baby thing their consistency has been (understandably) lacking... plus CARS has parodied just about everything that's odd or loony about us Mac addicts.

    Gotta love 'em.:cool: :D
  9. j763 macrumors 6502a

    Nov 25, 2001
    Champaign, IL, USA
    no $#!+, Crazy Apple Rumors isn't real... But it's hilarious.
  10. shakespeare macrumors 6502

    Apr 29, 2002
    Portland, Maine
    I think what PBailey meant in saying 'if it holds any truths' is 'could any of the new product specs be real?' I'm quite certain he's intelligent enough to figure out CARS doesn't report news, so don't jump on him; he didn't say that.
  11. sluthy macrumors regular

    May 13, 2002
    Bundaberg, Qld. Australia
    Oh man

    :D That is funny.

    Just went to the site and read some other jokes. Funny as.

    pbailey, thank you for introducing me to this site.
  12. McFreggle macrumors 6502a


    Jul 18, 2001
    Dendermonde/Leuven, Belgium
  13. Geert macrumors 6502a


    May 28, 2001
    Great rumors hehehe.
    I always enjoyed the rumors from crazy macrumors.
    hehehe, funny...
  14. Liamcow macrumors member

    Jun 16, 2002
    Hyannis, MA
    lol, the trackpads were believable, but the color iPods YEAH RIGHT!!
    And how could they know exactly what schiller was saying when he was near the elevator? carzy mac rumors is so CRAZY:confused:
  15. Edge100 macrumors 68000

    May 14, 2002
    Where am I???

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