God forgives me all my sins

aaronvan

Suspended
Original poster
Dec 21, 2011
1,349
9,287
República Cascadia
Some kids in starched white shirts and skinny ties came to my door to say that God forgives me. Jesus, too. "Really?" I said. "I haven’t done anything that should require forgiveness from God or any other higher deity, or even catch their attention. In fact, God should be begging my forgiveness because He is the cause of all the pain and horror in the world. He created this mess; yet, He stands by smirking while we suffer murder, disease, famine and any number of unpleasant occurrences. There is genocide, climate change, wars and rumors of wars--yet the Big Guy continues with his hide & seek routine. Truth be told, the whole thing seems rather sketchy."

They seemed a bit uncertain and perplexed. They were still standing there when I bid them good day and closed the door.
 

LIVEFRMNYC

macrumors 604
Oct 27, 2009
7,433
8,605
But if you accept the lord and savior Jesus Christ into your life, all of that will go away. :p
 

chown33

Moderator
Staff member
Aug 9, 2009
8,362
4,346
Pumpkindale
Some kids in starched white shirts and skinny ties came to my door to say that God forgives me. Jesus, too. "Really?" I said. "I haven’t done anything that should require forgiveness from God or any other higher deity, or even catch their attention. In fact, God should be begging my forgiveness because He is the cause of all the pain and horror in the world. He created this mess; yet, He stands by smirking while we suffer murder, disease, famine and any number of unpleasant occurrences. There is genocide, climate change, wars and rumors of wars--yet the Big Guy continues with his hide & seek routine. Truth be told, the whole thing seems rather sketchy."

They seemed a bit uncertain and perplexed. They were still standing there when I bid them good day and closed the door.
Better be careful. They might try to behead you.
 

VI™

macrumors 6502a
Aug 27, 2010
636
1
Shepherdsturd, WV
I was outside detailing my car for a trip to a show at the beach the next day when some fellas like that walked up. The one saved my friend while he was standing there with a beer in his hand. The other helped me remove the wax from my VW.
 

P-Worm

macrumors 68020
Jul 16, 2002
2,045
0
Salt Lake City, UT
Some kids in starched white shirts and skinny ties came to my door to say that God forgives me. Jesus, too. "Really?" I said. "I haven’t done anything that should require forgiveness from God or any other higher deity, or even catch their attention. In fact, God should be begging my forgiveness because He is the cause of all the pain and horror in the world. He created this mess; yet, He stands by smirking while we suffer murder, disease, famine and any number of unpleasant occurrences. There is genocide, climate change, wars and rumors of wars--yet the Big Guy continues with his hide & seek routine. Truth be told, the whole thing seems rather sketchy."

They seemed a bit uncertain and perplexed. They were still standing there when I bid them good day and closed the door.
Sounds like you showed them.

P-Worm
 

yg17

macrumors G5
Aug 1, 2004
14,888
2,480
St. Louis, MO
I was outside detailing my car for a trip to a show at the beach the next day when some fellas like that walked up. The one saved my friend while he was standing there with a beer in his hand. The other helped me remove the wax from my VW.

I was outside finishing up mowing my lawn when they swarmed in on my neighborhood from all directions. There were 3 or 4 pairs making sure they hit every house. The battery on my trimmer died just as they were near so I loudly mumbled "Jesus ****ing Christ goddamn battery", which I would say if there were no Mormons nearby because I swear a lot. Maybe I said it louder, but I still would've said it. Because there's nothing I hate more than yard work on a hot day, and when I hate something, I can make a sailor blush. Anyhow, they skipped right over my house. Didn't approach me, didn't say two words to me. But they rang doorbells on every single other house near me.

I guess they figured that if I'm using their lord's name in vein over something as trivial and inconsequential in life as a dead battery on a trimmer (which was immediately remedied by me going inside and grabbing the now fully charged spare from the charger), then I was too far gone to be saved.

Too bad they didn't come 45 minutes earlier, I probably could've gotten them to mow my lawn for me. I'd listen to their nonsense to sit in my air conditioned house while my lawn got mowed ;)
 

dec.

Suspended
Apr 15, 2012
1,322
747
Toronto
Had some JW's (I think) at the door the other day - "we'd like to talk to you about god" -"no, you wouldn't, now go away". (I'm still saving the "wait a sec, my husband would like to hear the too")

It's such a strange state of mind to go wandering around advertising your favourite mythological creature to complete strangers...?!
 

rdowns

macrumors Penryn
Jul 11, 2003
27,345
12,408
I had 2 show up at my new condo when the front gate wasn't working. Answered door in my robe and let it slip open. They left pretty quickly.
 

VulchR

macrumors 68020
Jun 8, 2009
2,329
10,254
Scotland
When evangelists knock on my door, I just tell them I worship trees and thank them for their time and consideration.