Good ways to make friends in a strange new city?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by WarHeadz, Mar 14, 2017.

  1. WarHeadz macrumors 6502a

    WarHeadz

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2015
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    #1
    I just recently moved across the country to Los Angeles from suburban New Jersey for a job. Everything is going pretty well for me here, job is going great and I'm certainly enjoying the weather. One major downside is that I have only one friend here who I try to see once a week, other than him I'm starting to feel pretty lonely. Some days even a little depressed. I work 6 days a week with only Sundays off, which leaves me with very little time to do things. It would be nice to have someone to hit the beach with on Sundays. If it weren't for my dog being here with me, the loneliness would have driven me nuts by now, but I'm getting there.

    So my question to you guys: what are some ways to start building a network of friends from scratch? I've never really faced a situation like this in my 27 years of life, so I feel like a headless chicken right now. Ideas?
     
  2. keysofanxiety macrumors 604

    keysofanxiety

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2011
    #2
    Ahh, it's always a toughie. I'd probably start by seeing if you can go for a drink or two with some of your work colleagues one evening, or pool, or a poker night. Something like that.

    At the very least it'll be a little less lonely some evenings, you'd get a little closer with them, or they might bring along some of their circle of friends who you can get to know too. :)
     
  3. WarHeadz thread starter macrumors 6502a

    WarHeadz

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2015
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    #3
    Yeah, that's the thing. I don't have co-workers. I work in a small business and basically run this store by myself, 52 hours a week. That makes it even more challenging and magnifies the loneliness because I have no one to talk to all day.
     
  4. noisycats macrumors 6502a

    noisycats

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2010
    Location:
    The 'ham. Alabama.
    #4
    Check out meetup. Tons of groups of every conceivable variety.
     
  5. keysofanxiety macrumors 604

    keysofanxiety

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2011
    #5
    Awwh man. :( :(
     
  6. DeltaMac macrumors 604

    DeltaMac

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2003
    Location:
    Delaware
    #6
    There's no customers that visit your store?
    What kind of business (I'm just curious)?
     
  7. Apple fanboy macrumors Core

    Apple fanboy

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2012
    Location:
    Behind the Lens, UK
    #7
    Any hobbies? Try meeting up with like minded people in your area. Local groups should have a FB page.
     
  8. RobinInOR macrumors 6502

    RobinInOR

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2014
    #8
    Go to the grocery store! I saw a post that you like the Amazon deliveries, but you need to get out where there are actually people, not just a delivery person! In my youth Wednesday nights at the grocery were the 'meet and greet' nights lol....
     
  9. WarHeadz thread starter macrumors 6502a

    WarHeadz

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2015
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    #9
    It's an electronic repair shop. There's customers but they usually don't hang around long enough to make friends with. And most of them are outside of my age demographic.
    --- Post Merged, Mar 14, 2017 ---
    Yep you're actually the second person to recommend that site. I'm absolutely going to check it out today.
    --- Post Merged, Mar 14, 2017 ---
    Yeah man, brutal.
    --- Post Merged, Mar 14, 2017 ---
    I've always been terrible with hobbies. I'm a techie and I work in a tech repair shop. So my main hobby basically occupies my entire work day. Now that I'm in California it would be pretty cool to learn to surf!
     
  10. A.Goldberg macrumors 68000

    A.Goldberg

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2015
    Location:
    Boston
    #10
    Common interests is generally a good way to create new friendships.

    I met my girlfriend at the pool, we both swam daily for exercise. Eventually we got to know each other and have been together for years.

    Whatever your interests, try a to find a club, group, or class. If you can't find anything appropriate- maybe try something new- something you've been interested or perhaps something random. Kayaking, archery, knitting, a book club, painting It's an opportunity to meet new people and keep yourself occupied. Trying new things helps combat depression too (which can be common with moving).

    Also, check to see if any old friends or classmates are now in your area. Or if any friends have local friends they could introduce you to. Introducing yourself to neighbors is another way to form relationships. I know a lot of towns have newcomer organizations to help introduce you to the community.

    The simple fact is if you wait to people to come out and befriend you you'll probably be waiting a long time, especially if you have such little consistent social interaction. You have to put yourself out there and be outgoing.

    Relocation is tough, but with some patience and effort you'll be set.
     
  11. AlliFlowers Contributor

    AlliFlowers

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2011
    Location:
    L.A. (Lower Alabama)
    #11
    My daughter is just a little older than you. She meets people the old fashioned way - at bars. She goes to watch sports - she is a big sports fan. She's made some friends just from that, and then met friends of their friends.
     
  12. Septembersrain Contributor

    Septembersrain

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2013
    Location:
    Texas
    #12
    I tend to network through places like Facebook. That and I'm very open to starting a conversation with someone at a restaurant, local business, etc. Then I'll add them into my Facebook and I'll get to know others through them. There are many ways like going to bars as commented above. Perhaps you can invite your one friend and tell them to invite a few of their friends to go out to eat or do something recreational?
     
  13. maflynn Moderator

    maflynn

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Location:
    Boston
    #13
    I found that doing martial arts, I met some pretty incredible people, and you get skills that help you in life.
     
  14. T'hain Esh Kelch macrumors 601

    T'hain Esh Kelch

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2001
    Location:
    Denmark
    #14
    Start with a local team sport. It will get you in shape and improve your health, and you'll get to know a lot of new people.
     
  15. rhett7660 macrumors G4

    rhett7660

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2008
    Location:
    Sunny, Southern California
    #15
    Are you actually in Los Angeles or one of the city's of Los Angeles County? If so where? What part of LA?
     
  16. WarHeadz thread starter macrumors 6502a

    WarHeadz

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2015
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    #16
    I live in the actual city of Los Angeles in the Highland Park neighborhood.
     
  17. rhett7660 macrumors G4

    rhett7660

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2008
    Location:
    Sunny, Southern California
    #17
    Ah, very nice. LA has some pretty cool places to go, we live in Long Beach and go to LA quite often. I don't know if you would like some pretty cool spots to go to, let me know know and I can send you a list etc.
     
  18. WarHeadz thread starter macrumors 6502a

    WarHeadz

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2015
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    #18
    Definitely! I'm open to all suggestions.
     
  19. rhett7660 macrumors G4

    rhett7660

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2008
    Location:
    Sunny, Southern California
    #19
    Ok, here you go!

    Wurstkuche: German Sausage and Imported Beers on Tap. They have the long tables where groups of people sit. Great place and great food.
    The Edison: Killer bar and great food (prior to turning over to the bar).
    Seven Grand Whiskey Bar - Name says it all. The place has a really good vibe and is usually pretty packed. Great spot.
    The Mayan - Salsa Dancing and night club. You can also check their schedule as they have Mexican Style wrestling shows that go on also. (LuchaVaVoom Wrestling)
    Biking through LA - This is a pretty cool event where they shut down certain streets of LA and you get to bike through it. They have various restaurants, bars, and shopping that you can go to throughout the event. They also have an open air event at the end of the ride. Good stuff. Lots of people.
    Any of the places near the Staple Center
    - Yard House
    - Tom's Urban (bloody mary's are really good)
    - Wolfgang Puck's restaurant, sorry can't remember the exact name. But the place has a nice bar and usually has a lot of folks in it.
    - The Mixing Room, I haven't been to this one in a while, but it was cool when I went.
    - Triple 8, not to bad, usually has the younger crowd (21-25).
    Philippe The Original - Excellent French Dip sandwich! No really it is that good.
    Right next door to Philippe's is Alvarado street which has some of the best street Mexican food you can find. The taquito place right on the corner (can't miss it due to the line) are to die for. They are super good!
    Langer's. Order the 19.
    Wexler's Deli - Pastrami sandwich. Big ole thumbs up
    The Oinkster - Pulled Pork. Oh dear god take me now!
    King Torta - More of an ELA location, but good god almighty.

    That is all I can think of off the top........ IF there is something specific you are looking for let me know. Like I said, if we don't go someplace local (Long Beach) then we are traveling to LA and the surrounding area.
     
  20. rbrian macrumors 6502a

    rbrian

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
    Location:
    Aberdeen, Scotland
    #20
    I go to fitness classes 3 or 4 times a week. As well as getting fit, I meet the same people (it probably helps that it's a tiny gym, with no more than 300 members, only about 50 of whom go to classes), so it's been easy enough to start a conversation, and I've even been out drinking with them a few times.

    For someone with Aspergers and social anxiety, that's a huge achievement. If I can do it, I'm sure you can!
     
  21. WarHeadz thread starter macrumors 6502a

    WarHeadz

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2015
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    #21
    Wonderful, thanks a lot!
     
  22. SoggyCheese macrumors regular

    SoggyCheese

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2016
    Location:
    Maybe UK, Maybe Spain, maybe even elsewhere
    #22
    Any watersports based activity has a real sense of community about it in my experience. You're lucky that you're right by the ocean. Surfing is a great idea and you should get on the phone and book a class today, although check out other activities too. Diving in particular encourages the group vibe, so it's really easy to meet lots of new people without needing to be committed to a team schedule as with some activities (rowing, I'm looking at you :D ).

    Whatever you choose, it's all about meeting as many people as possible. Even if most you only see once then never again you will find some people that stick, and once you've met one or two you click with they will introduce you to their social circle etc.

    Best of luck.
     
  23. D.T. macrumors 604

    D.T.

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2011
    Location:
    Vilano Beach, FL
    #23
    The one place you mentioned, I immediately recognized, very cool, very fun (went to a flight night, had a blast).
     
  24. Maccster macrumors newbie

    Maccster

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2017
    #24
    as mentioned, join some kind of club, whatever interests you.
     

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