Greatest message board thread ever?


Blue Velvet

Moderator emeritus
Jul 4, 2004
21,652
123
Those conditions sound pretty stacked against the adult so I would say, for me, probably 3-4, tops.
 

Manzana

macrumors 6502a
Jul 19, 2004
605
8
Orange County, CA
think of neo vs "the smiths" in (i can't recall which) matrix, they call it the burly brawl.

honestly, i could probably go for 20 minutes before i got tired! let's say 80 kids
 

miloblithe

macrumors 68020
Original poster
Nov 14, 2003
2,076
28
Washington, DC
This actually happened to me (sort of) when I was in elementary school. I was only 11, so not an adult, but somehow I pissed off a pack of first graders and they started chasing after me. Much to my surprise, they somehow cornered me and all attacked me. It was one of those not-very-violent types of fights, but whatever the scale, I was certainly the loser.

Ah, memories...
 

Sun Baked

macrumors G5
May 19, 2002
14,874
57
Sorry, I think I'll skip playing this game.

Because it sounds like one of Michael Jackson's wet dreams...


You freaks. :p
 

plinden

macrumors 68040
Apr 8, 2004
3,969
3
Much as I would like read through and laugh at that thread (as I would have, say three years ago), I now find the whole idea disturbing and nauseating. I guess it's something to do with having become a father twice in the past three years.
 

MongoTheGeek

macrumors 68040
It really depends on how fast they come. The solution is to have 3 or 4 grab each arm and leg to immobilize the adult and the start taking him/her apart. One arm/leg free I can clobber, maybe throw small ones. Both arms then I can heave just about any of them into others and use the smaller ones to clear areas.

Given that... Probably a good 40 or so until I get tired.
 

zelmo

macrumors 603
Jul 3, 2004
5,490
1
Mac since 7.5
A highly disturbing proposal, since I have a 4 year old son at home.

OTOH, If I were to set aside my distaste for the idea, I might venture to say I could probably knock out 35-40 of the little buggers before getting tired. If they swarm you, they are as apt to hit one another as land a solid damaging blow on you. Regarding the value of their training, I don't see there being a lot of retention, if my son and his friends are any indication. Ultimately, it would come down to your stamina and your willingness to render little people unconscious.
 

stoid

macrumors 601
I think that the key part of the equation is footwear. If the kids are wearing shoes, it would give them a great advantage. Without shoes, I don't think that they could kick hard enough anywhere except stomach for it to really hurt.
 

redeye be

macrumors 65816
Jan 27, 2005
1,138
0
BXL
feet, knees, fists, elbows and as a last resort the head.
I think i could handle a few. I have some experience in a youth movement (hehe sounds cool, doesn't it) with 6-7 year olds. If you can't hurt them (and they had no training) when they swarm you it's hard to stay up against 20 of them. If all is allowed i'd say 50 would be possible.

Where do i sign up? ;)
 

Mr. Durden

macrumors 6502a
Jan 13, 2005
716
0
Colorado
I cant get the link to work, but I'm speewing Pepsi out of my nose just reading these posts (a winning iTunes Pepsi at that). I've got a near 5 year old at home and we wrestle all the time, so I'm using that experience and I'm gonna say that if I backed into a corner so they couldnt come from every direction, and was able to actually knock one out and use it as a weapon (this is so sick), I could take out at least 50 - 60 maybe more, depending on how quickly I got tired.

And I think, just for fun, I would let them all pile on early on so I could do the Matrix Burly Brawl move where you get up really fast and make the explosion of bodies flying everywhere, like Neo did.
 

Lacero

macrumors 604
Jan 20, 2005
6,639
2
This is the oddest subject. I guess depending on the size of the 5 year olds I could take on probably 10 at one time. If they were fat, and they all swarmed on me at the same time, it would be pretty difficult to say the least.

20 would just be way too overwhelming. That's like an entire classroom of children!
 

homerjward

macrumors 68030
May 11, 2004
2,745
0
fig tree
hmm...if they're anything like my 10 yr old brother, i'd say 10-15. if the stipulation about the cup weren't there id say 3-5. i know that sounds 10-15 sounds like a lot but when you think about it they cant all get to you at once unless you're hella fat so they'll have to come in waves and if you knock one wave down they'll fall into the next. once they're on the ground it's a simple matter of kicking them in the face repeatedly or throwing them against a wall.
 

mcadam

macrumors 6502a
Apr 3, 2004
593
0
københavn
In my experience kids fall over pretty easily. And I reckon they are not to hard to knock out. So if they have to run a bit to get to me, they'll get spread out and I'll have time and space to swing some big ones at them. I'm not in particularly good shape, all in all I think I'd get very exhausted dealing 40 hard hits. Max 45.

If they manage to attack me in a more dense formation, then I don't know, maybe just a few before they would have swarmed me completely. They can be pretty nasty up close, especially if they're trained. I would go down heroically fighting though.

A

edit: on second thought - 40-45 is completely unrealistic. I've read the rules again, on a basketball court I would have to run around (remember: you can always outrun a kid) to keep them spread out, which would add to the exhaustion. I'd say 30 tops.
 

MacAztec

macrumors 68040
Oct 28, 2001
3,023
1
San Luis Obispo, CA
I think I could take about 25 or so. But, think of this..

Anyone watch ultimate fighting? I mean, the REAL show, not the crap they show on standard cable. I would LOVE to match an Ultimate Fighter up against the 5 year olds. I bet he could take 100. No joke, they are trained killers.
 

PlaceofDis

macrumors Core
Jan 6, 2004
19,232
4
i have no idea how many i could take, maybe 20 or so before i got worn down, i was a wrestler in h.s. so i might have some edge on 'em here


Off Topic:

did you guys see the mario avatar? talk about WRONG!!!
 

MacAztec

macrumors 68040
Oct 28, 2001
3,023
1
San Luis Obispo, CA
PlaceofDis said:
i have no idea how many i could take, maybe 20 or so before i got worn down, i was a wrestler in h.s. so i might have some edge on 'em here


Off Topic:

did you guys see the mario avatar? talk about WRONG!!!
i was thinkin about wrestling, but that would be worse. once you are on the ground you are done.

the best would be a fist fighter/boxer.
 

quackattack

macrumors 6502a
Aug 13, 2004
571
0
Boise, ID
This is the funniest thing I have ever read. I think you guys are over estimating how long you can go without getting tired. There would be a lot of movement involved in fighting them off. Especially if you had them surrounding you. I think that getting a limb free would be challenge enough.

That said I'm going to say 10-15, after that I think I would be way too tired to fend the little buggers off. ;)
 

PlaceofDis

macrumors Core
Jan 6, 2004
19,232
4
clayjohanson said:
Heck, that was the best part of the thread! I saved a copy of that to my HD for future use. :)

it got a chuckle out of me but the 10pts was just too much for me!!!

hey at least we all know that mario got the goods in the end and all wasnt for just a cake or a kiss LoL
 

PlaceofDis

macrumors Core
Jan 6, 2004
19,232
4
MacAztec said:
i was thinkin about wrestling, but that would be worse. once you are on the ground you are done.

the best would be a fist fighter/boxer.
yeah, the only good thing about wrestling experience are the upper body throws that would help you with your momentum and balance

i also think because i was a wrestler i have pushed my level of stamia further than most people so that would be very helpful as well, not to mention im used to taking a beating :D