# HELL: an explanation for the rest of us

Discussion in 'Community' started by zelmo, Sep 9, 2005.

1. ### zelmo macrumors 603

Joined:
Jul 3, 2004
Location:
Mac since 7.5
#1
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions
state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you",
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh, my
God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

2. ### Abstract macrumors Penryn

Joined:
Dec 27, 2002
Location:
Location Location Location
#2
This isn't a real student exam answer. I've heard this one many times, although with a slightly different ending. Some of the wording in the middle is also a little bit different.

Still very interesting, though.

3. ### zelmo thread starter macrumors 603

Joined:
Jul 3, 2004
Location:
Mac since 7.5
#3
Oh, I have no doubt it's not real. Just found it amusing.

4. ### Lord Blackadder macrumors G5

Joined:
May 7, 2004
Location:
Sod off
#4
Not bad, if I was grading papers I'd probably reward the wit.

5. ### Jon'sLightBulbs macrumors 6502a

Joined:
Jan 31, 2005
Location:
Chicago
#5
How does hearing an account several times discount that it is real?

Joined:
Oct 21, 2004
7. ### strider42 macrumors 65816

Joined:
Feb 1, 2002
#7
This is listed on snopes.com as not being real. Its origins appear to be quite old. Still, its funny. Doesn't mean snopes is correct necessarily, but they are pretty good, and since there's no proof that its actually real, I'll go with its a fake, but a funny one.

8. ### Jon'sLightBulbs macrumors 6502a

Joined:
Jan 31, 2005
Location:
Chicago
#8
This is the credited response.

9. ### dubbz macrumors 68020

Joined:
Sep 3, 2003
Location:
Alta, Norway
#9
It's on Snopes.

This thing has roots waay back. And it's very funny

Edit: strider42 beat me to it.

10. ### Jaffa Cake macrumors Core

Joined:
Aug 1, 2004
Location:
The City of Culture, Englandshire
#10
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

All very witty, but I think the general consensus is that Hell has already frozen over, and it was nothing to do with the number of souls...

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11. ### jelloshotsrule macrumors G3

Joined:
Feb 7, 2002
Location:
serendipity
#11
i took ap physics in high school. my friend was also in the class. he didn't do so well in it, and didn't care much about the exam score as he didn't expect it to be above a 2.

on one of the questions where it asks "what would happen if... and why?" he wrote a response to the first part. and then as for why he wrote:

"because in the words of tupac... that's just the way it is"

hahahah

i loved it

what do you think killuminati?

Joined:
Feb 15, 2005
Location:
Michigan
#12
13. ### GFLPraxis macrumors 604

Joined:
Mar 17, 2004
#13

The ending is vastly different from the version I've seen.

To quote snopes:
Every one I saw ended with, and since to this day she has NOT slept with him, therefore Hell will not freeze over.

14. ### dubbz macrumors 68020

Joined:
Sep 3, 2003
Location:
Alta, Norway
#14
I think I like this (powermac666's) version better

15. ### m-dogg macrumors 65816

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Mar 15, 2004
Location:
Connecticut
#15
regardless of if it is fake or not, this gave me a good laugh!

16. ### efoto macrumors 68030

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Nov 16, 2004
Location:
Cloud 9 (-6)
#16
I would tend to go with fake, but regardless it was quite funny and enjoyable, especially being read mid-Fluids lecture (I hate this class)

The end was pretty funny, overall quite witty and enjoyable, thanks for sharing.

17. ### Abstract macrumors Penryn

Joined:
Dec 27, 2002
Location:
Location Location Location
#17
Because the story changes, like I said. The ending is different, and some of the wording in the middle is changed a bit, making some of the details changed as well.

18. ### Phat_Pat macrumors 68000

Joined:
May 8, 2004
Location:
I Live Where I Live
#18
i'm sorry but your sig is just so random it made me laugh

19. ### camomac macrumors 6502a

Joined:
Jan 26, 2005
Location:
Left Coast
#19
isn't that from whipped with amanda peet..

i love that movie!

20. ### Kobushi macrumors 6502a

Joined:
Jun 7, 2005
Location:
Right behind you.
#20
I've seen this posted on many a bulletin board. Still makes me snicker, though.

21. ### mactastic macrumors 68040

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Apr 24, 2003
Location:
Colly-fornia
#21
Probably along the same lines (ie. not as real as people would like to believe) but still had me laughing my ass off:

Joined:
Sep 3, 2003
Location:
Alta, Norway
23. ### Xtremehkr macrumors 68000

Joined:
Jul 4, 2004
#23
One of the true classics of the internet. I first read this one a long time ago, and yet it never gets old. Hurrah!

24. ### ham_man macrumors 68020

Joined:
Jan 21, 2005
#24
Holy cow those are funny! I just about fell out of my chair laughing...

Great finds guys...