Homosexuality: Choice or not?

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by tktaylor1, Dec 11, 2011.

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  1. tktaylor1 macrumors 6502a

    tktaylor1

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    #1
    Okay, after church today my family went to Applebee's to eat. Well we had a homosexual waiter which then erupted into our conversation. My dad is a homophobe, me I don't really care. My dad doesn't exactly hate gay people, he just doesn't agree with their way of life if you will. He is still nice to them and things like that. But he said "they think they were born that way and that is just not how it is, they made that decision," these were his exact words. He is from the South, born in the church, and is really conservative. I can understand why he is like he is. He thinks gay people made a life choice to be like that, and I can see both sides of the argument. Can anyone help me out here. I am just trying to figure out how you came to be a homosexual. Did you just wake up one morning and say "hey, I want to be gay" or what? Like what happened to make you choose the life you chose, or, do you think you have always been gay? How did you know you were always gay?

    I remember reading something along these lines in another thread but could not find it again so I decided to make a new thread.
     
  2. _Matt macrumors 6502

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    #2
    Why are you questioning?

    Why, are you questioning?

    Homosexuality is not a choice. I doubt thousands of gay teens in this country would choose to be homeless and disowned by their narrow-minded parents.
     
  3. swingerofbirch macrumors 68030

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    #3
    For the vast majority of people who identify as gay, I would say no. I would guess there are many more people who choose to identify as straight when their inherent tendency is toward same sex attraction.
     
  4. mobilehaathi macrumors G3

    mobilehaathi

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    #4
    Choice is a red herring.

    It isn't a choice, but why would it matter if it were?
     
  5. tktaylor1 thread starter macrumors 6502a

    tktaylor1

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    #5
    I am questioning because I am sure this conversation will arise again and I want to know more about the homosexuals side of the argument. Because I don't know, and I don't have any friends who are gay. I know there are some on here so I was wondering if they could share. But looking at the voting system on the OP, it doesn't look that way.
     
  6. Moyank24 macrumors 601

    Moyank24

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    #6
    There is no argument.

    Did you choose to be heterosexual?
     
  7. tktaylor1 thread starter macrumors 6502a

    tktaylor1

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    #7
    It does't matter if it is or not. I am just trying to make him not so close-minded by arguing with him. If I point out good examples or good arguments then it might make him think a little more, I doubt it but you never know. This is why I want to know more about the other side of things.
     
  8. mobilehaathi macrumors G3

    mobilehaathi

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    #8
    You need to ask him why it matters if it is a choice or not.

    Then ask him when he chose to be heterosexual.
     
  9. MultiM macrumors 6502

    MultiM

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    #9
    This again?? Yeesh! You will never change your Dads' mind or get him to see reason regarding his views on homosexuality. You can only lead by example by being open and accepting to those around you who are different. Gay is not a bad thing, or a choice; it just how some people are.

    Next overworked topic, please....
     
  10. tktaylor1 thread starter macrumors 6502a

    tktaylor1

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    #10
    I am really trying to figure out how to answer this. I mean I guess I didn't choose but I've never had a desire to be gay. I choose to like girls, but I don't have an attraction towards guys.
     
  11. Heilage macrumors 68030

    Heilage

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    #11
    I think you should stop bitching to the OP, he just wants answers to his questions. Why would you alienate someone who are in search of knowledge?


    I don't think it's a choice. If it is, so what? People should be with those that make them happy. I think people should stop caring about what two consentual adults do, it's their business, not ours.
     
  12. Moyank24 macrumors 601

    Moyank24

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    #12
    You don't really choose to like girls, in the sense that you think. It's natural for you.

    It's the same for us. I've never had any desire or attraction towards a man. It's not something I chose...it just is what it is.
     
  13. tktaylor1 thread starter macrumors 6502a

    tktaylor1

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    #13
    Thank you. And I feel the same way. It's your life, do what you gotta do.

    ----------

    Yea, and that's why I was having such a hard time trying to figure out how to answer.
     
  14. quagmire macrumors 603

    quagmire

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    #14
    I don't think it is a choice. Did I choose to be attracted to women? No.

    We all remember being little kids. Boys thought girls were disgusting and girls thought boys were disgusting. Then something happened and we woke up one day being attracted to one another. It wasn't a conscious decision. Anyone who says they consciously chose to be attracted to the opposite sex is fooling themselves, IMHO.
     
  15. EricNau Moderator emeritus

    EricNau

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    #15
    Try not to take it too seriously. It's an emotional question, and some find the mere suggestion offensive, regardless of your good intentions.

    Imagine if a group of people were suggesting that one of your defining characteristics, something you were born with, was a choice. And in this accusation is the implication that because it was a choice, you aren't entitled to "that kind of lifestyle."

    It sounds ridiculous, but what if I were to imply that being a redhead was a choice? What if I refused to acknowledge that there are natural-born redheads? Instead, I say, all redheads have dyed their hair an unnatural color, and since it is a choice, I don't think they should be allowed in public schools (nor can teachers teach their students about redheads, because it's a unnatural choice).

    But isn't it ridiculous to suggest that redheads made that choice, and that redheads don't naturally appear in nature? Obviously, the redhead is going to be offended at the mere suggestion that they weren't born a redhead.

    It's the same with homosexuality. We know it appears in many species, but many people act like it's a choice in humans, because if it's a choice, they think it's ok to discriminate (it still wouldn't be, but that's what they think). And of course, for a gay man or woman, it's extremely frustrating/offensive to hear it suggested that they weren't born that way, because they know they never made a choice (but if you think about it, it's impossible for them to prove). It requires trust: you need to take their word for it, because a non-gay individual has no way to relate to that experience.
     
  16. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

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    #16
    It's only possible for bigots to attack them, if the bigots insist that it is a choice.
     
  17. mobilehaathi macrumors G3

    mobilehaathi

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    #17
    You chose to be attracted to girls?
     
  18. yg17 macrumors G5

    yg17

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    #18
    1. How did you know your waiter was gay?
    2. People actually eat at Applebees? Yuck :p
     
  19. aeaglex07 macrumors 6502

    aeaglex07

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    #19
    Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; CPU iPhone OS 5_0_1 like Mac OS X) AppleWebKit/534.46 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/5.1 Mobile/9A405 Safari/7534.48.3)

    Thank you. You took the words right out of my mouth.
     
  20. tktaylor1 thread starter macrumors 6502a

    tktaylor1

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    #20
    Well some gay people have that certain accent (which I have never figured out because I knew a person that came out of the closet and all of a sudden started talking with that accent. He never talked like that before), and he was wearing more make-up than my mom.

    ----------

    Its not like I had an A or B option. Its not like I was presented with a choice to like guys or girls. It is just a natural instinct that I like girls.
     
  21. mobilehaathi, Dec 11, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2011

    mobilehaathi macrumors G3

    mobilehaathi

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    #21
    Exactly. Why would it be different for anyone else? Why wouldn't a gay man or woman just have a natural instinct?
     
  22. Typswif2fingers macrumors 6502

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    #22
    God I wish it was a choice.

    Imagine the happiness, fulfilling lives, and money savings so many men could have if they chose other men to live with.

    Not the credit card hungry, whining, evil minded "others" we usually get to live with...
     
  23. Mord macrumors G4

    Mord

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    #23
    The whole choice argument is just a poor rationalisation for homophobia imo.

    It's a lot easier to hate someone who's "chosen" to disobey your religious text of choice. Hating someone you believe your god to have made that way? Somewhat tricker.

    People like to rationalise things, especially their own BS.
     
  24. SDColorado macrumors 65816

    SDColorado

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    #24
    A researcher by the name of Bruce Bahemihl, conducted a study in 1999. In his review, it had been observed that close to 1,500 species, ranging from primates to worms, had members that exhibited homosexual behavior. It was well documented in over 500 species. I think it would be near impossible to make the argument of "choice," when you see the behavior in so many species, some that aren't even really capable of making a "choice" as we do. How would someone argue that worms, at times, choose to exhibit homosexuality? I think it should be obvious that it isn't a choice, and a "lifestyle." It occurs naturally and it simply is what it is. Now the choice to be homophobic? That is a different argument altogether. Maybe you should have *that* discussion with your dad instead.
     
  25. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

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    #25
    The very idea behind my last post. :p

    You can't hate a red-head, or a disabled person, without being a bigot, but you can apparently hate a gay, IF you refuse to admit that they were created that way.
     
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