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How do I select the right frat?

A

AcousticDoc

macrumors regular
Original poster
Jul 18, 2005
193
0
Hey guys, I'm a junior transfer and I'm just wondering how I select the right frat that will fit me. I never really thought about going greek, but there is a frat house next to where I live so I have been going there a lot to score free food and to kick it with my neighbors when I was bored. I don't know how rush even works but yesterday was the official day of rush and I ended up getting an invite to their frat. I wasn't really expecting it at all but getting an invitation to this house has made me think about looking at other fraternities. How do I decide what's the best one?

The one where I got an invite is pretty cool, but it's a small group. Their house looks nice, has a porch, lawn, backyard and everything but it is small compared to some of the other fraternities on campus which look like friggin castles. Also they are small in number as well; they currently only have 10 members. When joining a frat, is it better to find one with more people and a bigger house?
 
dude, go with the bigger one. Its all about networking.
The relationships you make now will pay off later inway
of jobs and getting your foot in the door.

The smaller house, while nice to be a part of, wont pay
as much dividends later. Besides, the guys you live with now
or the dudes who lived on your floor are good group of friends
that is the same or better than that small house.
 
obeygiant said:
dude, go with the bigger one. Its all about networking.
The relationships you make now will pay off later inway
of jobs and getting your foot in the door.

The smaller house, while nice to be a part of, wont pay
as much dividends later. Besides, the guys you live with now
or the dudes who lived on your floor are good group of friends
that is the same or better than that small house.
Click to expand...

Is it better to go to a big house/members on campus but not as nationally well known? For example, the small frat near me while small, has three houses on another campus and is huge.
 
This is how I picked mine. Since I go to school in my hometown (we have a large university) I've had experience with all the houses during my high school years. There will a bunch of different ones, some rich, some not so much, preppy, druggie and yada yada yada.

When I went through rush I had quite a few bids to many of the houses. My mom wanted me to go with Kappa Sig, who happened to have the largest house, largest amount of members, largest bank account and always seemed to be popular with the gold diggin' ladies.

I ended up choosing Pi Kappa Alpha, still one of the top houses on campus. Their house wasn't as nice and the people aren't nearly as rich, but the atmosphere is what captured me. The guys seemed real chill and cool and it seemed like a house I could join and I wouldn't tend to be shaped as much and could instead be myself. Best decision of my life. I have some of my best friends for life know and we have people from all kinds of backgrounds. We have hog farmers from south Arkansas, we have wiggers from Dallas, wakeboarders who lived on the lakes, Christian people who don't indulge in anything illegal, people who do drugs and get plastered quite frequently.

Here are my few pieces of advice. Go to a house that you want to be in, not what you think will make you cooler or what not. Go to the house where the guys remember your name and make you feel welcome. Also, don't go to any fraternity who don't have a house but say they are building one soon. Those are usually lies and you will have already graduated before they even begin to build a house.

jon

quick note: 10 member house will suck. Gotta go with something bigger. My fraternity has an active enrollment close to 100, one the largest Pike chapters in the nation. Living in the house we have about 40 people, which is a good amount. That's plenty people to throw a good party and have plenty of fun in the house.
 
AcousticDoc said:
Hey guys, I'm a junior transfer and I'm just wondering how I select the right frat that will fit me. I never really thought about going greek, but there is a frat house next to where I live so I have been going there a lot to score free food and to kick it with my neighbors when I was bored. I don't know how rush even works but yesterday was the official day of rush and I ended up getting an invite to their frat. I wasn't really expecting it at all but getting an invitation to this house has made me think about looking at other fraternities. How do I decide what's the best one?

The one where I got an invite is pretty cool, but it's a small group. Their house looks nice, has a porch, lawn, backyard and everything but it is small compared to some of the other fraternities on campus which look like friggin castles. Also they are small in number as well; they currently only have 10 members. When joining a frat, is it better to find one with more people and a bigger house?
Click to expand...

do yourself a favor and don't join. As soon as you put on the greek letters, you're going to be pigeon-holed/stereotyped by everyone else on campus; you'll carry that fraternity's reputation with you everywhere you go, whether it applies to you or not.

and there's this: I can't speak for other colleges/universities, but at my alma mater fraternity guys/sorority girls were universally hated. And I can't tell you the number of people I met who had been a member of the greek community (me included) who later said "man...I wish I had never done that. It wasn't worth it."

plus, also, this: you think you're going to be pals with everyone in the fraternity, but you're not. And there's a lot of social politics in the greek community. People who feel threatened by you (and there will be those people, I guarantee it) because of your charm/personality/whatever relative to theirs will do their best to undermine you, sometimes for personal gain, sometimes just for sport.

not trying to bring you down at all, just trying to tell you what it's about. If you aspire to a career in politics, it would be an excellent training ground. If you're the kind of person who can't stand that crap (yea, that would be me) you're probably better off skipping it.
 
iJon said:
quick note: 10 member house will suck. Gotta go with something bigger. My fraternity has an active enrollment close to 100, one the largest Pike chapters in the nation. Living in the house we have about 40 people, which is a good amount. That's plenty people to throw a good party and have plenty of fun in the house.
Click to expand...

How big should I be looking at?
 
AcousticDoc said:
How big should I be looking at?
Click to expand...
Oh I don't know. We have one fraternity who has about 10 members, they are FarmHouse. I would just choose a good sized fraternity who have a nice sized house, good amount of people living in it and are big enough to throw functions.

Functions are a big part of it, cause the bigger fraternities will do events with sororities, more community service and throw some fun parties for you and the rest of the campus. You'll get a feel for the bigger ones.

Is your campus having a formal rush where you get to experience all the houses and the fraternities feed your bulls*** about why you should go to their house? :p

jon
 
iJon said:
Is your campus having a formal rush where you get to experience all the houses and the fraternities feed your bulls*** about why you should go to their house? :p

jon
Click to expand...

Yea rush started officially yesterday, but some frats have been recruiting (if that's right word for it). There's another frat I've been looking which is 25 members and are also a bunch of cool guys. I'm at Cal, if you know anything about the greek scene there please advise cause I am confused.
 
It's all about the people man. Look around the house when you're there, and ask yourself if these are the group of guys you want to spend a lot of time, and probably have a lot of fun with for the next few years. Are they your kind of crowd? If so, you might have found the place. If not, keep looking.
 
obeygiant said:
dude, go with the bigger one. Its all about networking.
The relationships you make now will pay off later inway
of jobs and getting your foot in the door
Click to expand...

Well, if your goal in life is to maximize profit, then yes pick the bigger one -- unless the smaller one has a higher aggregated GDP. (kidding)

Pick the house you like best. Don't join a house just to network...if you do you're only going to meet other little networking-ish guys.

I really didn't see any appeal in fraternities when I was a freshman, and I went through rush just for free food and booze. By the end I made a lot of friends in one house, realized that it offered a kind of oasis in a campus that seemed to have its priorities skewed, and I reluctantly joined. It turned out to be the best decision I made in college. The relationships I've made will last a lifetime, but you don't have to join a house to forge lasting relationships with people.
 
Also realize, the connections will come in the future despite going to a smaller campus. Even if the house you choose is small on your campus, you still wear those letters worldwide and they are more than likely the bomb diggity on another campus elsewhere in the States.

When I went to visit Seattle last New Years my friend and I decided to go the campus. I went and found the Pike chapter there and walked right on in the house. I didn't know a single person there but since I was a Pike, I was welcomed to the fullest. Chilled with them, made some new friends and happened to party with them a week later on the ski slopes.

jon
 
ia gree

join for the people. find the people you get along with and go be with them. it is an experiance.
or... go theta chi
andreas
 
Fraternities - paying in some cases thousand of dollars in dues for ready-made "friends" and whatnot. If you're really set on joining one, then by all means get your money's worth. Find the one that looks to have the best chance of its members actually going somewhere after graduation (not just Daddy's company) and check them out.

I had a really bad experience with the greek system when I was an undergrad. Paying for friends, being told what to wear, the hazing that doesn't officially happen, etc. I ran into a guy with whom I went to high school my freshmen year just after rush and all that. He'd barely been allowed to eat or sleep for 5 days. It's just not worth it to me.
 
If your felt needs are to pay in to secret orders and rituals to live the fantasy of elitism and exaggerated self importance, go for it. My opinion is that Greek Fraternities & Soririties are somewhere between a sham and a shame. GDIs all the way.
 
You will also have people (like above) who say you are just wasting money and buying your friends. I guess that can be true but I never looked at it like that.

I pay a monthly fee, I get a cool house to live in with my own room. Food, cable, internet, electricity, water, heat, air conditioning, parking and parties are all paid for. In many instances (at my college) it cost about the same to live in the dorms, and you can't drink, smoke pot, play loud music or pick your roommate.

Hazing was non existent in my fraternity. Sure you have the rituals and they will yell at you, but physical abuse didn't exist. Fraternities on big campuses are watched upon like hawks, any word leaking out of them beating a freshman and they will be kicked off campus.

You gotta remember, this is a computer forum and I would be willing to bet a majority of people on this board would be biased towards not joining. They will have their opinions and not think to highly of them. I would personally ignore most of their comments, not because their opinions don't matter, it's just they have never experienced it and will talk down upon it regardless.

jon
 
As an alumni of Band service fraternity Kappa Kappa Psi, I encourage you to join an organization that is more than just social-based. The entire purpose of my organization was to serve the band, and the bonds we formed as we united for this common goal last a lifetime. Join the fraternity because you are committed to their cause...not because you want to be their friends.
 
iJon said:
it's just they have never experienced it and will talk down upon it regardless.

jon
Click to expand...

all due respect, I did experience it. I'm glad for you that it was a positive experience in your life. Me, I thought it was all bullsh*t.

and here again, with all due respect:
by saying this is a "computer forum," it sounds like you're implying that the kind of people who cruise forums (internet nerds or what have you) aren't/weren't ever cool enough to join a fraternity. Whether or not that's true, it's that kind of attitude that makes the greek community so unpalatable, the idea that there's some special club that's only open to candidates with the "right" clothes/music/opinions. Fraternities and sororities aren't inclusive, they're exclusive; they're less about getting new people in than keeping certain people out. You and I know very well that not everybody who shows up at rush gets a bid, and we know the reason(s) why they don't...
 
beatsme said:
all due respect, I did experience it. I'm glad for you that it was a positive experience in your life. Me, I thought it was all bullsh*t.

and here again, with all due respect:
by saying this is a "computer forum," it sounds like you're implying that the kind of people who cruise forums (internet nerds or what have you) aren't/weren't ever cool enough to join a fraternity. Whether or not that's true, it's that kind of attitude that makes the greek community so unpalatable, the idea that there's some special club that's only open to candidates with the "right" clothes/music/opinions. Fraternities and sororities aren't inclusive, they're exclusive; they're less about getting new people in than keeping certain people out. You and I know very well that not everybody who shows up at rush gets a bid, and we know the reason(s) why they don't...
Click to expand...
Haha, this isn't about being cool enough. I'm a realistic person and the fact is, probably most people on this board would not want to join a fraternity. This isn't me saying your not cool enough, just stating the facts. It is true that some people may not make the cut. At my campus, everyone got in somewhere. We had about 400 guys go through last year and everyone one of them got a spot.

But I will agree with you on the attitudes. All the stereotypes of Fraternities are usually true. Many times I consider myself an exception cause most people who meet me are quite surprised that I belong to a fraternity. Because of me being a computer guy, that has always kept me good friends with the typical computer crowd who wouldn't think twice about joining a fraternity.

jon
 
iJon, would you say that it's typically true the bigger the house the more the cost? My friend in SAE pays 375 at his campus but told me the SAE chapter at USC has to pay 2000 per person!!!!!! Although their house is a lot nicer than his.
 
AcousticDoc said:
iJon, would you say that it's typically true the bigger the house the more the cost? My friend in SAE pays 375 at his campus but told me the SAE chapter at USC has to pay 2000 per person!!!!!! Although their house is a lot nicer than his.
Click to expand...
Bigger houses will generally mean higher in-house and social dues. My fraternity probably cost me about $2,000/semester. Kappa Sigs who live across the street, who have the largest Kappa Sig house in the country (also a very nice castle looking building), have about a $6,000/semester in-house costs.

Most people who join the Kappa Sigs on my campus can usually pay for those bills, they tend to be the richest of the bunch. This is one of the reasons I didn't join their fraternity. There is a different atmosphere at my fraternity because there are many people who have a hard time paying for it. Tends to be a more realistic down to earth feel than being at a place where money "ain't no thing."

jon
 
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