how do i tell my girlfriend she's Fat without hurting her feelings...

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Jinsou, Mar 16, 2009.

  1. Jinsou macrumors regular


    Nov 18, 2007
    Well, we've been together for a while and since then she's gained some weight.... but to the point it's not cool anymore, i want to motivate her to go to the gym or something for her own good u know... but then again, she's very emotional... as gentle as i would try to be she'll be like :eek:IM FAT? WHATTT /SLAP/ and not talk to me for a bit... so i need some counseling! thanks guys

  2. RITZFit macrumors 65816


    Sep 16, 2007
    In my Corner
    suggest a morning jog or something so yall can "spend time together" ;) just choose some activity that yall both can do so it isn't so obvious
  3. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
  4. Jinsou thread starter macrumors regular


    Nov 18, 2007
    Dude no way!

    u know i've been thinking of doing that, she's just so lazy some times.... but thanks man! good one
  5. bruinsrme macrumors 603


    Oct 26, 2008
  6. dukebound85 macrumors P6


    Jul 17, 2005
    5045 feet above sea level
    browse photos with her when you two first started datting and then whoop one out of you two now

    maybe she will figure it out herself
  7. michael.lauden macrumors 68020


    Dec 25, 2008
    dude just get a dog that has to be fit and go on walks together all the time haha

    deff don't tell her she's fat. but if you start doing things in YOUR own life that might inspire her to change.

    if it's that big of a deal. who wants to date a fat chick anyway? dump that B!

    just kidding.
  8. Jinsou thread starter macrumors regular


    Nov 18, 2007

    yesss, perfecct!!

    hehe... man i tried that, but maybe chose a wrong breed, got her a yorkie... poor little guy always sitting around
  9. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    Hey man, you wanted a guaranteed way... :D
  10. Jinsou thread starter macrumors regular


    Nov 18, 2007
    hahahahahahahh dude, u made my day:D
  11. krazykatstudio macrumors newbie

    Mar 14, 2009
    her health

    and what shape is YOUR body in, boyfriend?
    telling her is not helping her. instead, tell her (only if you really mean it) that you want her to be healthy so you can grow old together. then, go for a walk. hold hands. exercise is good for both of you. you can work your way up to the gym later. Encourage healthier eating. eat together. find out why she is stress eating. Ignore that other guy, he is so wrong. Have sex more often! make sure its fun for her. with a little of the right kind of encouragement and reward, girls can accomplish alot. Do it together, and when you reach the goal, treat yourself to a fun weekend someplace you can show off that sexy slim body.

    my kid sis was super thin (stressedout sick thin) when she met her boyfriend. He is a super buff athlete. over a year, she slowly climbed back up to her normal weight, then got stressed out over life, ate late, and put on 30 lbs...she knew she was getting fat, and cried about it to me. so this is what he did, and now she is losing weight, will go to the gym, and will be bod beautimus when they go on their honeymoon in Sept.
  12. t0mat0 macrumors 603


    Aug 29, 2006
    good advice. see it as potential to burn calories together, doing fun things.
    You can sort out better eating for the both of you. And also sympathetically, empathetically maybe slowly discuss why she's eating how she is.
  13. lord patton macrumors 65816

    lord patton

    Jun 6, 2005
    +1. She knows she's fat. She wants to change it. Make it easy for her. Start working out and eating right and watch her join in.
  14. bossxii macrumors 68000

    Nov 9, 2008
    Kansas City
    Can you just photoshop her back to skinny?? :D

    On a more serious note umm first think about what has changed in her life that has made her gain weight? Did she start eating bad? Stop working out? Just leave high school, off to college etc...

    People tend to gain weight/eat due to lifestyle change or as comfort for some area in their life that has changed. Depression, anxiety, job, stress etc...

    Think about what changed that lead to her weight gain and then if it's something you can help her deal with talk to her about the issue (stress, job, money etc..) Don't try to fix her, you will likely only make it worse, try to listen to her problem that is causing her to eat, gain weight. I'm betting something about her or your relationship has changed along with her weight gain. Find that problem and you will find a solution to the other.
  15. 0098386 Suspended


    Jan 18, 2005
    Oh there's no easy way I'm afraid :)
    My girlfriends had been very slim for years, we both wanted her to put weight on and when she did (still under her BMI though) I congratulated her and I got shouted at :eek:. I'd just do what other posters have said and go jogging together, don't say it's to "lose weight" but to "keep in shape", maybe. Running, swimming, cycling, very long walks/hikes are all good.
  16. ChrisA macrumors G4

    Jan 5, 2006
    Redondo Beach, California
    "Burning" calories just does not work. Unless you have many hours a day you are only going to burn a few hundred calories by exercise. The really big calorie losses have to come from diet. By simply not eating so much you can loose as as many calories as you need to where as with exercise you can burn at most a few hundred a day.

    Don't get me wrong exercise is good for many reasons. But to loose one pound you need to loose (by either exercise or diet) 3,600 calories. So if the goal is to loose 15 pounds you need to loose 54,000 calories. Most people are simple unable to exercise that much.

    You are going to have to go on a "Healthy Eating" project (don't call it a "diet" or you might as well call her "fat") But "Healthy Eating" is cool even if you are in good shape.

    Same with exercise. Don't call it that. call it "Active Lifestyle". It should not be something you do to loose weight. It needs to be something you do because that is what you like to do. For me, I like to ride my bike and swim and then hike or climb on week ends. Find something you like
  17. rhsgolfer33 macrumors 6502a

    Jan 6, 2006
    It would probably be easier to just get a new girlfriend...

    But seeing as how you like her and all, do as the others say and try to get her to be active. Don't go out to eat often and don't let her purchase junk food to eat at home. Try to get her to go play a sport with you, that way you're enjoying it together.

    Or you could just have a lot of sex and burn calories that way. I think that's your best bet.
  18. eRondeau macrumors 65816


    Mar 3, 2004
    Canada's South Coast
    As a fat guy myself, I can tell you that weight gain is usually a symptom of a deeper problem. Either something medical or something psychological. She should see a doctor first to rule out medical. Has anything else about her life changed in this same time frame? Is she stressed-out over something in her life (work, your relationship, family) because such worries can cause either rapid weight loss or gain. What have you seen her doing lately that's different? Has she stopped walking to work because she bought a car? Has she moved closer to work? Did she get new job that doesn't allow her to move around like before (ie- was a waitress, now a receptionist?) Most people who put on weight don't do it because they suddenly start eating ten Twinkies a day, it's little lifestyle changes that all add-up over time.

    To answer your question, give her a goal and a reward -- and give yourself one too. Maybe her goal is to lose 30 pounds in six months and your goal is to stop smoking, and if you've both reached your goal by that time you'll go away for a romantic weekend. But if either one has failed the deal's off. So you're both working to better yourselves and you're doing it together, for each other.
  19. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    May 19, 2002
    Go out for walks & cut the meal portion sizes in half, stop eating outside the dining room, etc.

    Get rid of anything with high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated vegi oil, and aspartame.
  20. peapody macrumors 68040


    Oct 7, 2007
    San Francisco, CA
    Just do everything together. Make the commitment for a healthly lifestyle together and it will make it easier for her to lose weight if you value that so much.
  21. Abstract macrumors Penryn


    Dec 27, 2002
    Location Location Location
    I suggest getting fit yourself. When she asks you what the heck you're doing, just tell her, "I'm just trying to get fit.....and you should start as well." If she doesn't get motivated watching you losing weight and getting fit, you're just going to have to live with a chunky girlfriend.

    And I don't know about giving her small rewards. The reward will be losing some of that weight. Don't believe she hasn't noticed. She definitely has.
  22. Iscariot macrumors 68030


    Aug 16, 2007
    Cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. She'll turn into a real beautiful woman.
  23. Prof. macrumors 601


    Aug 17, 2007
    That's exactly what I was thinking. My sister is dating a guy who is somewhat of a gym rat - nice arms, chest and butt (of course I check him out:p). Ever since they started dating, my sister has been going to the gym every night after work.

    OP - how old are you and your GF, if you don't mind me asking. :)
  24. Melrose Suspended


    Dec 12, 2007
    "how do I tell my girlfriend she's fat" LOL.

    You, my friend, have a....


  25. LeahM macrumors 6502a


    Mar 18, 2008
    If you want her to lose weight, you can't tell her, if you do, you will probably get a bad reaction. But on the other hand, if you want her to start exercising, you are going to need to exercise just as much, probably even more. You could start jogging and then tell her that you need a woman partner because there are a lot of women joggers in your area, it would work especially if she has a little of a jealous streak. But then make it fun for her, if she's competitive you could race around the block. Or you could start eating healthy and ask for her help. Tell her that in order to help you, you need her to help you keep junk food out of the house and to help you create a meal plan. So the safe route would be to keep the focus on you but try to get her to participate.

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