How do you feel about traditional relationships?

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by -Ryan-, Jul 31, 2009.

  1. -Ryan- macrumors 68000

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    #1
    As the thread title says, how do you feel about a traditional relationship? This is, a monogamous relationship (married or unmarried) between a man and a woman. Do you feel that this form of relationship is necessary for a fulfilling emotional and sexual experience? Do you think it has a place in society today? Do you feel it is the only "right" form of relationship?
    I may make my reasons for wanting to know this public if I get quality responses, but this is something that I have been pondering for a long time for a variety of reasons. I've just finished my first year at university and have been disappointed in watching my peers pursuing multiple partners merely for sexual gain, whereas I have very different morals on that subject.
    Interestingly, my morals as a person aside from this subject are pretty lax, but I can't help but be disgusted in watching my peer group destroy their chances of a healthy relationship later in life through a debauched and pretty meaningless existence as young adults.
    I think that young women in particular are sacrificing their own integrity for the pursuit of sex. I openly refuse to frequent nightclubs simply because I can't help but feel repulsed by the behaviour of not only my friends, but everyone around me, male and female.
    I'm quite confused, but I do have my reasons for feeling so strong about this subject, as I said I'll perhaps explain later. Just as an added bonus, what perhaps makes this all a bit strange, is that I am an atheist, and so in no way have been pushed into the position I feel, other than through my own life experiences.
    I'm not a virgin, and I have been in a serious relationship. When I was younger, when I was 15/16 I was involved in exactly the same behaviour I described, and while some may suggest this makes me a hypocrite, I can't help but look at those who are adults around me and think that their maturity leaves much to be desired. I grew out of it, but it seems to me that everyone my age (19/20) is getting worse.

    EDIT: I'm not homophobic, nor do I have a problem with unconventional relationships in that sense. I think that is fine as long as there is a loving, caring relationship going on. Rather, my problem lies with casual relationships, open relationships and stuff of that sort.
     
  2. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

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    #2

    What evidence do you have that how people behave as young adults destroys their chances of healthy relationships later in life? Why are young men not sacrificing their own integrity for the pursuit of sex?

    And is integrity the same thing as a hymen?
     
  3. Zombie Acorn macrumors 65816

    Zombie Acorn

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    #3
    Traditional relationships are a thing of the past for me. If it weren't for tax incentives, certain rights when your SO dies, and a few other things like insurance premium drops I don't imagine marriage would even come into my head. The whole process is a joke now days anyways, especially when religion is involved.
     
  4. arkitect macrumors 603

    arkitect

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    #4
    To answer your question, having been in what you'd term a non-conventional relationship for the past 9+ years, I'd certainly say that a traditional relationship is not the only way.

    At first, judging by the general "tone" of your post I thought you were attending Theological College… which if true left me wondering about your fellow students' behaviour. ;)

    (However since you claim to be Atheist that probably means I am wrong.)

    So what is your, oh so darkly hinted at reason?

    And yes, as Blue Velvet pointed out: Why are only women singled out as examples of lascivious integrity sacrificing behaviour?
    :confused:
     
  5. Unspoken Demise macrumors 68040

    Unspoken Demise

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    #5
    I am in a monogomous relationship of a year and I wouldnt have it any other way.
    So I guess I believe in the "traditional" relationship.

    Im not sure I understand the purpose of this thread, however I will play along.
     
  6. Peace macrumors Core

    Peace

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    #6
    I was a "wild and crazy guy" from 16-35..Now I'm old and retired from that sort of life.

    It really boils down to the individual imho.
     
  7. Queso macrumors G4

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    #7
    Getting wunderlust out of your system before settling down is a good thing IMO.

    But then as a man married to a man I don't suppose my relationship counts as traditional does it?
     
  8. Unspoken Demise macrumors 68040

    Unspoken Demise

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    Ugh, I really hope that one day it will be considered traditional. You shouldn't have to feel as though you are non-traditional for loving another human being.
     
  9. iGary Guest

    iGary

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    #9
    I used to bang everything in sight.

    That said, I've been in a faithful relationship for 10 years now.
     
  10. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

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    #10
    Why do I feel that the following is the most relevant response I can make to this thread?

    [​IMG]
     
  11. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

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    #11
    I would really like to know this as well.




    OP:


    What a shame you feel the need to judge others on their own personal lives. It may interest you to know that I find your outlook 'disgusting', regardless of your unspoken "reasons".

    To answer your question, I guess I'm in a traditional relationship. I could have just as easily been in a non-traditional relationship perhaps with a woman, but I fell in love with a man and we're happily married. Our past sexual experiences have not taken a negative toll on our relationship, none whatsoever. In fact, my having been with lousy lovers in the past makes me really appreciative for what I have now. I have no regrets about my sexual history.
     
  12. Queso macrumors G4

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    #12
    It's OK. Being non-traditional doesn't invalidate anything. We're happy, that's what counts :)
     
  13. Unspoken Demise macrumors 68040

    Unspoken Demise

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    God bless you then. :)
    Stay happy and classy. :cool:
     
  14. -Ryan- thread starter macrumors 68000

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    I think I've maybe misled slightly by singling out women at one point. The reason that I said this is probably because as a straight male, I only have intimate contact with females, and thusly see them in ways that I never see other males if that makes sense. But even in social situations, I see girls as far too sexually open about their promiscuous nature in ways that I never see males being so open about. Whether it goes on in males isn't debatable, it obviously does, but I think it is very hard to recover from when you do hit maturity. There are some people I know, and I'm not sure whether this is from social conditioning, but all are female, who I have no respect for, simply because of their sexual choices.
    I do not consider myself a prude; in fact I consider myself to be quite the opposite. But I think having been intimate with so many people so young is bound to be a negative factor on the ability to have a healthy relationship older in life. Simply because acts that in a historically human sense should be reserved for those who one loves, have simply been discarded for a temporary pursuit of pleasure rather than long term happiness.
    Having been in a position where I have experienced both sex from the point of the unemotional, cold pursuit of sexual pleasure, and from the position of being in a loving relationship, I feel that the latter is the only one that gives any sense of satisfaction. That is the same feeling that becomes apparent when talking to others that have been in the same position as me, but there are so many young people today who have never experienced sex in a loving relationship, and so damage their emotional integrity through being sexually promiscuous and immature.
    I decided to mention the thing about being an atheist because I knew that someone would invariably assume I was some right wing religious nut. I drink, smoke, swear and do all the usual things people do, but this is an issue I feel so strongly about, that I've decided to open up about it, albeit on the internet, and want to have a serious discussion about what the general opinion today is.

    Finally, to Blue Velvet, to me there is no integrity lost through the physical act of having sex, and through the breaking of the hymen, as it has nothing to do with the mental experiences of someones life. I feel more the connection is an emotional one, which is perhaps something strange coming from a young, straight male.
     
  15. iGary Guest

    iGary

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    #15
    Nope.

    I had a very "liberal" sex life until I was 30. Those experiences only cemented the strength of my current long-term relationship.
     
  16. Peace macrumors Core

    Peace

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    #16
    For you Ryan that may be true. But for me. I loved every woman I slept with.

    Of course most of my encounters were brief but meaningful relationships. Nonetheless I still Loved them.
     
  17. -Ryan- thread starter macrumors 68000

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    #17
    Apologies if this appears as a double post, but I couldn't find a way to add another quote to my first post, so please feel free to merge this post with the previous if necessary. :)
    I don't understand how you can think that I judge other people. I don't judge anyone, I just take an opinion on how other people live. I've been there and experienced exactly what those other people are experiencing, and thus I'm not judging, I'm making an informed decision.
     
  18. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

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    #18
    I think you're overthinking things, ignoring facts, and wrapping your own narrative around what the historical record says about humans and sex throughout the ages. Your views on your contemporaries sound judgemental; try to lighten up.

    Right.
     
  19. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

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    #19
    You are judging, people judge situations/people/things all the time. You stated that you think having a lot of sex so young could take a toll on future loving relationships. You are entitled to your opinion, I just don't agree.

    It also sounds to me like you are much more scornful of a women's sexual proclivities than a men's and I find that to be a double standard. It's okay, they exist everywhere but it doesn't make it sit any better with me.

    I try to adhere to the live and let live philosophy whenever possible, especially when it comes to something as personal as a person's sex life.
     
  20. opinioncircle macrumors 6502a

    opinioncircle

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    Well I'm a little confused as well. All people around me seem to look for one night stands and being "awesome" all the time (that's the trend these days), but I don't feel this way. Call me twisted if you will, but I do think of one long term relationship.

    The definition of traditional relationships has completely changed. Nowadays people (and women especially) got to war if they are cheated on, which is definitely a good thing, while being married. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't happen back in the 50's or 60's because of the neighbors and such...

    But to be honest, I'm cool with anybody else's definition of relationships as long as it doesn't involve me...
     
  21. OutThere macrumors 603

    OutThere

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    #21
    To pull an appropriate quote from another thread...


    I don't think it's your position to judge the actions of your peers if they do not affect you. At this age we're biologically inclined to have sex, and I think that being willfully and intentionally sexually frustrated is being unnecessarily hard on yourself. You're only young once! We're nearly all bound to be curious someday, why deny it until you're married with kids like these guys, who were all quite in favor of tradition. :rolleyes:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Sanford
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Craig
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Stanley_(Tennessee)
     
  22. Rt&Dzine macrumors 6502a

    Rt&Dzine

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    #22
    I have nothing against them.
     
  23. Macky-Mac macrumors 68030

    Macky-Mac

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    #23
    hmmm, what do you think "judging" is if it isn't "take an opinion on how other people live" ???
     
  24. DiamondMac macrumors 68040

    DiamondMac

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  25. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #25
    I've had tons of one-nighters, a few long-term, monogamous relationships (up to 5 years) and one open relationship. They all have their merits and drawbacks. I can't say that I recommend one over the other. I have many close friends who I value more than anything else, TBH. They come first.
     

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