How to deal with the jerk we all run across every now and then

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by one1, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. one1 macrumors 65816


    Jun 17, 2007
    Chattanooga, TN
    For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "Could I please speak with
    Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't
    believe that anyone could be so rude.

    I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her. (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number). After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, You're an ******!" and hung up. I wrote his number down, with the word '******' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an ******!" It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic '******' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the caller ID program?" he yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an ******!" So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited
    for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The
    idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I
    wrote down his number...

    A couple of days later, right after calling the
    first ****** (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better
    call the BMW ******, too. I dialed and someone said, "Hello?" I said,
    "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes it is." "Can you tell
    me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a
    yellow house and the car's parked right out front." "What's your name?" I
    asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch
    you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five." Listen, Don, can I tell
    you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an ******!" Then I hung up, and
    added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had
    two ******s to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't
    as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea: I called
    ****** #1. "Hello" "You're an ******!" (but I didn't hang up.) "Are you
    still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed.
    "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Don Hansen."
    "Yeah? Where do you live?" "******, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a
    yellow house with my black Beemer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming
    over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said,
    "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ******." Then I called ****** # 2:
    "Hello?" he said "Hello ******," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out
    who you are..." "You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your ass," he
    exclaimed. I answered, "Well, ******, here's your chance. I' m coming
    over right now." Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police,
    saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over
    there to kill my gay lover. Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang
    war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed
    over to 34th St. There, I saw two ******s beating the crap out of each
    other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew. Now,
    I feel better...

    :D Got that on my PDA today.....
  2. Kashchei macrumors 65816


    Apr 26, 2002
    Meat Space
    That's a great story. An apocryphal one, but a good one.
  3. ClassicMac247 macrumors 6502


    Aug 30, 2007
    Brick, NJ
    That is really funny. I could see myself doing something like that.:D
  4. mactastic macrumors 68040


    Apr 24, 2003
  5. MrSmith macrumors 68040


    Nov 27, 2003
    Though the last line killed it for me. I'd have preferred if it was for real.
  6. one1 thread starter macrumors 65816


    Jun 17, 2007
    Chattanooga, TN
    It can be if you just believe.

  7. Sirus The Virus macrumors 6502a

    Sirus The Virus

    May 12, 2005
    Thats pretty hilarious... it's hard not to laugh in a quiet library with 20 people around.
  8. tominated macrumors 68000


    Jul 7, 2006
    Queensland, Australia
  9. Schtumple macrumors 601


    Jun 13, 2007
    pure genius, I'm actually jealous I haven't come up with something like this :rolleyes:
  10. themadchemist macrumors 68030


    Jan 31, 2003
    Chi Town
  11. monke macrumors 65816


    May 30, 2005
    Thats Funny.

    Its kinda like the video on Youtube where one guy prank calls a Chinese Take Out place, then calls another one. He then asks for Chinese Take Out #1 to repeat the order and #2 writes everything down. It gets pretty interesting when it comes down to delivery. :D
  12. mcarnes macrumors 68000


    Mar 14, 2004
    USA! USA!

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