How to Show-Off Your New iPhone in a Totally 100% Dignified Manner

Discussion in 'iPhone' started by superstrikertwo, Oct 1, 2008.

  1. superstrikertwo macrumors 65816

    superstrikertwo

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2008
    Location:
    California
    #1
    1 – Allow others to benefit from your iPhone

    A man on the street asks you if you have the time.

    YOU: Sure.

    Then <FLASH!> you whip out your iPhone, hold it up high, waving it around so everyone can see its impressive “clock” function.

    YOU: Anyone else need to know the time?!!! Because I… HAVE… AN iPHONE!!!

    2 – Use your iPhone to save a life

    You are on a date in a restaurant. A man is having a heart attack!

    YOU: Coming through! I’ll take care of it! I’m an iPhone owner!

    Then you simultaneously call emergency services while accessing Wikipedia instructions on how to perform CPR. To keep the man’s wife from panicking, you calm her down by showing her amusing videos of cats wearing silly hats.

    DOCTOR: This iPhone owner is a hero! Without his amazing access to information and amusing videos of cats wearing silly hats, we’d have a dead man and a nervous wife. Instead, this couple will live happily ever after. Thank you iPhone Owner!

    YOU: Oh, I was just doing what any super cool iPhone owner would do.

    3 – Use your iPhone as it was meant to be used... as fashion

    Why wear your iPhone on your waist when you can attach it to a headband and wear it on your forehead?

    4 – Share your iPhone's information

    At the bar, a guy asks you if the local sports team won today.

    YOU: Hold on, I’ll check that out for you on my brand new amazing iPhone... Sorry, for the delay, I just got my amazing iPhone and I’m still trying to learn all of the amazing iPhone iFeatures... where is News?... Music... Videos... Email... Phone... Crème Brulee recipes... Time Machine... darn this amazing iPhone!

    5 – Use your iPhone to fight crime

    WOMAN: A man is holding up the Convenience Store owner with a gun!

    YOU: No worries ma'am, I am an iPhone owner. I'll simply call 9-1-1... now I'll walk into the store... and <SNAP> take the perpetrator's photo. And... email it to the police.

    ROBBER: Stick 'em up or I'll blow you away!

    YOU: I own an iPhone.

    ROBBER: Really? Wow!

    YOU: I know. iPhone says you are suffering from feelings of inadequacy caused by your father's constant belittling of you as a child.

    ROBBER: iPhone is right!

    YOU: iPhone says there is a support group for your issue approximately 2.9 miles southwest of here.

    ROBBER (wiping away tears): Thank you, iPhone owner.

    YOU: Of course.

    ROBBER: Now I'm going to shoot you and take your iPhone!

    YOU: I'm sorry, but I'm going to zap you with 50,000 volts.

    ROBBER: Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!

    YOU: The iPhone has a hidden stun-gun feature.

    CONVENIENCE STORE OWNER: Thank you, my friend!

    YOU: It's my privilege to serve the community. While waiting for the police to arrive, would you like to listen to some U2?

    From: Hogwild
     
  2. slidetounlock macrumors regular

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  3. threezero macrumors 6502

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    Aug 22, 2008
  4. Bfat567 macrumors 6502

    Bfat567

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  5. mcdj macrumors 604

    mcdj

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2007
    Location:
    NYC
    #5
    Wirelessly posted (iPhone: Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU iPhone OS 2_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.1.1 Mobile/5F136 Safari/525.20)

    A.K.A. How To Get Your Ass Kicked And Your iPhone Stolen
     
  6. BergerFan macrumors 68020

    BergerFan

    Joined:
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    #6
    Lol. It sounds like a draft script for a Family Guy parody. :D
     
  7. alFR macrumors 68020

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    Aug 10, 2006
  8. neesh0 macrumors 6502a

    neesh0

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  9. MyJelleo macrumors 6502

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    Mar 29, 2007
    #10
    Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU iPhone OS 2_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.1.1 Mobile/5F136 Safari/525.20)

    I liked it. Two thumbs up!
     
  10. zachplaysguitar macrumors 6502

    zachplaysguitar

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2008
    Location:
    Richmond, VA
    #11
    Wirelessly posted (iPhone 3G: Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU iPhone OS 2_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.1.1 Mobile/5F136 Safari/525.20)

    lol
     
  11. slicecom macrumors 68020

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2003
    Location:
    Toronto, Canada
    #12
    lol This would make a great comic book. The adventures of an iPhone owner. Nicely done. :)
     
  12. markgamber macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2005
    Location:
    Redneck, PA
    #13
    Nice! Except the very end. I think if I stun-gunned someone I'd complete the torture with something more appropriate than U2.

    "You spin me right round, baby, right round. Like a record, baby, right round round round."

    Hell, probably wouldn't even need the stun gun feature with that.

    Edit: Oh...and #4 is improbable. When was the last time AT&T data actually worked when you were showing off the phone? Nice thought, tho.
     
  13. Elite Aaron macrumors member

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    Location:
    Oklahoma
  14. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
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    #16
    Agreed.
     
  15. Doju macrumors 68000

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    Jun 16, 2008
    #17
    Stop being trolls, guys. If you don't like the topic, don't post. :confused:

    I found it hilarious. Nice find. :p
     
  16. l Shad0w l macrumors newbie

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    Location:
    NY,NY
    #18
    lol hilarious:)
     
  17. Clete2 macrumors 65816

    Clete2

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  18. Chris Rogers macrumors 6502a

    Chris Rogers

    Joined:
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    Location:
    my house
    #20
    ditto!
     
  19. acvball92 macrumors regular

    acvball92

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  20. megax macrumors member

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    Jul 21, 2007
    #22
    it took you 2 minutes to read that? :D
     
  21. pedroistheman macrumors 6502

    pedroistheman

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2007
    #23
    wait, are you hogwild or did you just copy all this from his site?
     
  22. acvball92 macrumors regular

    acvball92

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    Location:
    Fairfield County, CT
    #24
    haha nice:)
     
  23. superstrikertwo thread starter macrumors 65816

    superstrikertwo

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2008
    Location:
    California
    #25
    Copied from the site.
     

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