How to support gay marriage without being labeled gay

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by wvuwhat, Aug 12, 2010.

  1. wvuwhat macrumors 65816

    wvuwhat

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    #1
    So, I just came upon this problem today. I wouldn't have cared if some random person approached me with hatred, but my own parents called me a f*ggot today for saying that I fully supported equal rights.

    Again, this wouldn't be a problem, if it were some random person, because we all know how people are. However, when I brought up Prop 8 at lunch, it was a BIG problem with them.

    They are firmly convinced I am a closet gay and that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm pretty sure they are closed-minded in their thinking, but any suggestions about how to go about telling them I'm just supportive of the rights of all Americans?

    I'm a different generation than them, but I can't help but think that they are wrong, and still thinking the world is in the 1960's.

    For the record, I am 23 and my parents are 49, 52, and 47 (step-mother). This is where the other main argument of mine comes up, my parents divorced when I was 3 years old, I'm going out on a limb saying that gay couples may/will last longer than traditional couples. I guess time will tell.
     
  2. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

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    #2
    They actually used that word? If so, make plans to eventually strike out your own and make your own life, with your own friends and relationships. Parents can come round in time, but in some cases, it can take many years.
     
  3. 184550 Guest

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    May 8, 2008
    #3
    Argue based on a judicial basis, which is what is being done in the courts right now. It's a fundamental right that should be afforded to all.
     
  4. niuniu macrumors 68020

    niuniu

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    #4
    You'll get used to it. Take it on the chin and push your point of view, make sure and let them know that anything less than supporting equality is bigotry and you're disappointed that the people who raised you don't feel the same way.

    Don't worry about it, my parents are a bit bigoted on some issues - even my gf is less supportive of gay rights than I am. Just make sure and reel them in. You can't give ground in human rights.
     
  5. wvuwhat thread starter macrumors 65816

    wvuwhat

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    #5
    Yes, they actually used that word... Which is why my life is pretty much **** right now, because I'm stuck here until I can find a job, which hasn't happened since my graduation from college in 2009.

    Believe me, I've been trying...
     
  6. niuniu macrumors 68020

    niuniu

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    #6

    Sounds like your self-esteem talking in this thread. Don't worry, you'll get a job and get yourself sorted then stupid comments from your parents won't affect you like this :)
     
  7. Jason Beck macrumors 68000

    Jason Beck

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    #7
    who cares what people think? be yourself and eff the rest.
     
  8. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

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    #8
    What did they do right, to produce such a Son? ;)

    If someone wanted to marry a goat, I could care less, as long as the goat was a sentient being.

    Remember, all's faire in love and war.
     
  9. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

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    #9
    Wow! Your parents were way out of line with that. I hope your relationship with them isn't as bad as this incident indicates it might be.

    Just tell them that. However, if they truly are closed-minded don't expect them to understand or agree with you. Sometimes, it is best to avoid controversial subjects with your parents. Being right or correct on an issue is not always worth the damage it can have on your relationship with them.

    Yeah, little to early to know. My guess is that gay couples will probably have a high rate of divorce just like heterosexual marriages. But, like you said, time will tell for sure.
     
  10. Gelfin macrumors 68020

    Gelfin

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    #10
    "What, do I have to be black to oppose racism? Jewish to think the Holocaust was evil?"

    Honestly, though, unless your parents are the sort who would throw you out of the house if you were gay (although your post makes me a little nervous they would be), who cares if they think that or not? Let them think what they will and then enjoy the confusion when you date women later.
     
  11. wvuwhat thread starter macrumors 65816

    wvuwhat

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    #11
    Yes, I'm at an all-time low self-esteem right now, but that doesn't make what they said right. I just want to have some sort of a venerable response to kind of "sock it to them." Prove that just because I think differently than them, I can be respected. Even under their roof.
     
  12. wvuwhat thread starter macrumors 65816

    wvuwhat

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    #12
    Jason,

    That's what I addressed, I really don't care what others think... at all. If it were anyone other than my parents I really wouldn't care. Luckily, I have great friends that share my same beliefs, but these are the people that raised me.
     
  13. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

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    #13
    And when you marry, and have children, do the kids a favour, and limit their interaction with their Paternal Grand-Parents.
     
  14. wvuwhat thread starter macrumors 65816

    wvuwhat

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    #14
    I've dated women in the past, current, and will continue to in the future. That's not my problem, it's more the problem of my parents completely turning my beliefs against me, and using their beliefs against me like a 13 year old with personal attacks.
     
  15. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

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    #15
    Their beliefs were engendered by their parents, and so on, and so on.

    You have a chance to break their cycle of ignorance, suspicion and fear.

    Stay the course.
     
  16. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

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    #16
    Sorry to hear your tale.

    I tend to agree with BV... Sometimes the best thing is the threat of -- or actually following through with -- plans to get up and out of the house is a powerful parental motivator. Sometimes parents have a hard time treating you like an adult until you've been out on your own. And when they realize they risk losing contact with you, they may reassess their attitude towards you, even if they don't change their views.

    Good luck...
     
  17. wvuwhat thread starter macrumors 65816

    wvuwhat

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    #17
    I can pretty much guarantee, if/when I get out of here, there's going to be limited contact. I'm not bothering them being here, as I'm taking up the basement in their 7000+ sq. ft. house. They have walked downstairs a total of 2 times while I've been here, it's now been 7+ years.

    Yes, that may sound like they are trying to hold onto me, ignore, or what have you, but I got this treatment in middle school/high school/when visiting during holidays in college. However, this was the first time I've ever been personally attacked. Either at home or out on my own when I was in college. The catalyst was the Prop 8 ruling, and quite frankly I'm tired of it.

    I've always wanted to do the D.C. march with my straight guy/girl friends, because I live 20 miles away. I should have done that last month...
     
  18. yojitani macrumors 68000

    yojitani

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    #18
    Find your way out of there (hard, I know) and cold shoulder them then. My mother was a bit like that so when my sister and I avoided her phone calls, kept conversations short, etc. she started to listen a bit more. She's changed a bit but still lets slip some racist/homophobic/xenophobic remarks at times, but at least she's aware that she does it.
     
  19. william sire macrumors regular

    william sire

    #19
    How to support gay marriage without being labeled gay
    Is that a question? Nothing you said gave any direction as to support gay marriage without being labeled gay.
     
  20. william sire macrumors regular

    william sire

    #20
    OMG!!! The audacity of these people to provide a home and take care of a grown man and dismiss his "enlightened open mindness" as if they with their experience think they know better.
     
  21. .Andy macrumors 68030

    .Andy

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    #21
    What an awful ad hominem in an attempt to justify petulant homophobia.
     
  22. TuffLuffJimmy macrumors G3

    TuffLuffJimmy

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    #22
    So he can't disagree with them until he moves out? Your colors are showing, Will.
     
  23. Ttownbeast macrumors 65816

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    #23
    My father was an interesting **************** both literally and figuratively. Here's why....

    When he was in the service back in the 60's he did a lot of strange things, he was in the special forces, but he was also a dealer in the black market he was a memmber of the Klan from birth, but he was also part black, He loved hanging out in the gay bars in San Diego because they made a decent Tom Collins of course the last time a gay man made a pass at him in a movie theater the pocket knife went through the dudes hand....and into my pops leg at the same time.

    Despite all these contradictions my pop was always for total equality so long as personal space was respected.
     
  24. ranguvar macrumors 6502

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    Sep 18, 2009
    #24
    Next time he calls you a ******, hand him one of these armbands:

    [​IMG]

    (further reading)
     
  25. niuniu macrumors 68020

    niuniu

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    #25

    That makes for interesting reading ^

    I never knew that the Nazis had an out and out campaign against homosexuals or abortion.

    Makes you realise - that the Nazi manifesto is very similar to the manifesto of widely accepted groups among us today.

    Creepy.
     

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