Hufu -- The Healthy Human Flesh Alternative!

neildmitchell

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
May 21, 2005
564
0


What does Hufu TM taste like? Does it taste like human flesh?
HufuTM is designed to resemble, as humanly possible, the taste and texture of human flesh. If you've never had human flesh before, think of the taste and texture of beef, except a little sweeter in taste and a little softer in texture. Contrary to popular belief, people do not taste like pork or chicken.

How do you know HufuTM tastes like human flesh?
The taste and texture of HufuTM are the result of painstaking research and extensive testing in our kitchens. We are supremely confident that our food products would satisfy the tastes of even the most demanding cannibal.

Is HufuTM a vegetarian/vegan friendly?
Yes. HufuTM contains no human or animal products.

Read more at
http://www.eathufu.com/faq.asp

I'd give my left arm for some HUFU ;)
 

Doctor Q

Administrator
Staff member
Sep 19, 2002
36,041
3,257
Los Angeles
I read a scientific article that said that, based on body makeup, humans would taste more like horses than like the animals we more commonly eat. We are designed to move, not graze, so we would supposedly be tough, stringy, and less tasty than fattier animals. Sorry, but I have no first-hand experience to confirm this. I don't even bite my fingernails.

Meanwhile, in another thread about robots, I noted today that researchers are learning to make skin more like ours, but for a completely different purpose.
 

Duff-Man

macrumors 68030
Dec 26, 2002
2,976
2
Albuquerque, NM
Duff-Man says... I had always heard that human flesh was closest to pork..of course I do not have any personal dining experiences to back this up. There was a line in the song "meninblack" by the Stranglers (1979) that said "healthly livestock so we can eat...human flesh is porky meat....heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh" .........oh yeah!
 

Doctor Q

Administrator
Staff member
Sep 19, 2002
36,041
3,257
Los Angeles
Maybe we need to ask [playlistId=21480328&selectedItemId=21480316]these kids[/playlistId] about it. (iTMS link)
 

neildmitchell

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
May 21, 2005
564
0
I love the fact that they offer stories and DVD's related to cannibalism.
So you can watch a movie as your appitizer, then have a plesant dinner conversation about cannibalism as you dine. :D

(hu)MAN its whats for dinner!
Make mine a Man-wich meal!
 

neildmitchell

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
May 21, 2005
564
0
poundsmack said:
do things like this make u loose faith in humanity at all? :p
I LOVE IT! Totally hilarious.

Maybe I will throw a cannibal Thanksgiving this year! :rolleyes:

Its GOT to be better than Tofurkey, ANYTHING is better than Tofurkey!
But the Tofurkey stuffing is good, maybe it was aweful too, I was drunk

I eat Cannibals, Its incredible, you bring out the animal in me, I eat cannibals..
 

Cybernanga

macrumors regular
Oct 27, 2004
201
0
Essex, United Kingdom
If you've ever seriously burn your fingers (I have) you'll have noticed that burning human fles actually smells like burning pork.

Additionaly, if you do the reflex thing of putting your burnt fingers in your mouth, (I did this too) you'll also notice that they taste like pork too.

So based on experience, I'm happy to say that Human Flesh (mine at least) tastes very much like pork. Howver as I've never tasted Horse flesh, maybe they taste like pork too.

Howver, I honestly think that that product is in very bad taste ;)
 

Jaffa Cake

macrumors Core
Aug 1, 2004
19,801
6
The City of Culture, Englandshire
Cybernanga said:
If you've ever seriously burn your fingers (I have) you'll have noticed that burning human flesh actually smells like burning pork.
I've heard it said that houses where people have been burned to death have a very strong smell of roast pork about them – so much so that that many firemen can't stomach the thought of eating the stuff.

Entirely anecdotal – I'm not certain if it's true or not...
 

Peterkro

macrumors 68020
Aug 17, 2004
2,143
1,361
Communard de Londres,Tiocfaidh ár lá
Have you been to Nuigini Skunk? I ask because I worked there for a year a loooong time ago very enlightening experience.When I was there the punishment for murder for a local was six months in jail whereas a expat would get 14 years very different outlook on life.About the human flesh eating taboo I never really understood it I'd just as soon eat a human as a cow(don't get me wrong either idea revolts me).
 

MongoTheGeek

macrumors 68040
poundsmack said:
do things like this make u loose faith in humanity at all? :p
Not really.

The cannibals among the Maori use it as sort of a remembrance of the dead. Only certain relatives are allowed to eat etc. So I don't really have a problem with it. Especially not after reading Stranger in a Strange Land.

Also if you were to consider the symbolism of cunnilingus and fellatio actual consumption of the dead (living) isn't that far of a stretch.
 

dotdotdot

macrumors 68020
Jan 23, 2005
2,381
31
Ah! NASTY!!!!!!!!

"Mom, whats for dinner?"
"Oh, Uncle Irving?"
"UNCLE IRVING!?"
"Relax, it isn't REALLY him..."
"Phew"
"It's just a fake him"
 

skunk

macrumors G4
Jun 29, 2002
11,745
3,995
Republic of Ukistan
Peterkro said:
Have you been to Nuigini Skunk? I ask because I worked there for a year a loooong time ago very enlightening experience.When I was there the punishment for murder for a local was six months in jail whereas a expat would get 14 years very different outlook on life.About the human flesh eating taboo I never really understood it I'd just as soon eat a human as a cow(don't get me wrong either idea revolts me).
No, I did get a visa...but ended up going to Sri Lanka instead. I have a friend who worked there too, as a librarian in Port Moresby. He had a whale of a time.
 

neildmitchell

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
May 21, 2005
564
0
mad jew said:
Crazy.

I swear my neighbour ate her husband. I'll recommend this to her, thanks.
Your a riot! :D
Why do you think your neighbor ate her husband
 

QCassidy352

macrumors G4
Mar 20, 2003
10,571
2,660
Bay Area
MongoTheGeek said:
Also if you were to consider the symbolism of cunnilingus and fellatio actual consumption of the dead (living) isn't that far of a stretch.
I really don't know about that. I've never thought of those acts as having "symbolism." Sure, if you want to attach some symbolism to them it's easy to do, but it feels tacked on to me.

Regarding the original product... it's funny, but just the thought that the reason it exists is to simulate eating humans makes me never want to try it.
 

MongoTheGeek

macrumors 68040
QCassidy352 said:
I really don't know about that. I've never thought of those acts as having "symbolism." Sure, if you want to attach some symbolism to them it's easy to do, but it feels tacked on to me.
Maybe I'm just a prevert.

QCassidy352 said:
Regarding the original product... it's funny, but just the thought that the reason it exists is to simulate eating humans makes me never want to try it.
Yeah... The problem is most faux meat doesn't taste like meat and often tastes like soy.

I can't wait for vat grown steaks though.

Gee I wonder how the law applies about cloning for consumption?
 

Sun Baked

macrumors G5
May 19, 2002
14,874
57
Cybernanga said:
If you've ever seriously burn your fingers (I have) you'll have noticed that burning human fles actually smells like burning pork.

Additionaly, if you do the reflex thing of putting your burnt fingers in your mouth, (I did this too) you'll also notice that they taste like pork too.

So based on experience, I'm happy to say that Human Flesh (mine at least) tastes very much like pork. Howver as I've never tasted Horse flesh, maybe they taste like pork too.

Howver, I honestly think that that product is in very bad taste ;)
Actually I really don't know much about that, I'm usually thinking of something else besides grabbing some salt/pepper or a couple other spices to season my hand before I burn it.

And usually when I burn myself I don't wait around for it to cook well enough to get a good taste.

BTW, I usually run for cold water and ice. Because I know putting butter and/or licking your hand doesn't stop the burn from getting worse, the only thing that does that is cooling the area as fast as possible.
 

Moxiemike

macrumors 68020
Jan 1, 2002
2,437
0
Pittsburgh, PA
The Scene? Anythony Hopkins and Jodie Foster at a European Cafe.

"well clarice. i've retired. i've found something new. Waitress, could I have some HuFu with fava beans and a nice Chianti?"

*trigger HuFu jingle*

Cut to Logo.

"HuFu. The fleshy Alternative"

Fade out.