Humor/Sarcasm: 12 reasons why Gay Marriage should not be allowed.

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Neserk, Feb 25, 2004.

  1. Neserk macrumors 6502a


    Jan 1, 2004
    1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

    2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

    3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

    4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

    5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

    6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

    7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

    8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

    9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

    10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

    11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms like we haven't adapted to things like cars or longer lifespans.

    12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
  2. mactastic macrumors 68040


    Apr 24, 2003
  3. Neserk thread starter macrumors 6502a


    Jan 1, 2004
    I'd like to take credit, but I stole it from someone else who probably stole it from someone else, and on and on :D
  4. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    May 19, 2002
    Dilution of marriage as an institution...

    Next thing you know somebody will try marrying a corpse to get access to the decedants estate.

    Oops, too late already been done. :rolleyes:
  5. K4NN4B15 macrumors member

    Aug 22, 2003
    please, lets leave homosexuality out of the altar and in the pew where it belongs.
  6. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    May 19, 2002
    13. Think of all the paperwork that'll need to be updated. :eek:

    Last Name, First Name
    Date of Birth
    Mother's Maiden Name :confused:

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