(Humor thread) Apple is secretly conspiring with the government to track us

Discussion in 'Apple Watch' started by lsutigerfan1976, Apr 18, 2015.

  1. lsutigerfan1976 macrumors 68020

    Sep 14, 2012
    Right off the bat I will say that this thread is just strictly for humor! But the idea is for everyone to post the most outlandish things you have heard about the watch and its launch.

    I will start. The craziest theory i have heard is that Apple has struck a secret deal with the government to implant a tracking device in the watch itself. So the government can follow us every minute of the day that we have the watch on. Which is why there is a big delay to ship it out. And that they are testing this theory by giving the watch to some famous ppl to see how well it works...

    Ok, that's one theory. Anyone else want to contribute on some of the crazy things they have heard. Feel free!
  2. chfilm macrumors 68000


    Nov 15, 2012
    Well what I find really funny (or not so funny actually) is how many people are BEGGING for a gps tracker inside the 2nd gen watch. THEN the U.S. Gov can really start the spying ^^
    Sometimes you gotta wonder what happened to us in the last 14 years..
  3. GrumpyMom macrumors 604


    Sep 11, 2014
    I can make one up that's pretty creepy. I can't take credit for the idea because it's from a random comment made in one of the comments sections of a Smart Watch review. Someone simply ranted it's the Mark of the Beast or some such thing. But I have supporting writings for a good conspiracy theory.

    Take Elon Musk's comment from not that long ago about artificial intelligence possibly gaining sentience at some point and becoming a beast that controls all of us:


    If you study the technology and proposed use of microchips and nanotechnology as applied to biology and biometrics, it becomes frighteningly plausible for the Apocalypse-minded that the Mark of the Beast will be implanted chips.

    But for now, we're feeding an awful lot of personal information into our cell phones. And soon we're going to be wearing it. Many people already have been with their Smart watches from other makers.

    Ah, what could go wrong with that? Nobody would be interested in little old me. Ahh, but someone is. And there is an effort to have all of your data (if you're a U.S. Citizen) processed in a sentient manner:


    Proposed consequences to The Beast awakening as AI running amok:

    So if Biblical prophecy is fulfilled in an unexpected way and it turns out "Satan" awakens in the form of AI, we've fed the beast willingly with our humble Apple Watches. No wonder they gave the Apple Watch to Karl Lagerfeld, dude looks like the perfect horseman of the Apocalypse! :D

    EDIT TO ADD--no flames about religion or the veracity of the cited articles...remember this is tongue in cheek!

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