I don't feel very masculine...

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by bobber205, Sep 20, 2010.

  1. bobber205 macrumors 68020

    bobber205

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    Oregon
    #1
    Now this isn't me coming out of any kind of closet. :p Though sometimes saying this makes it sound like its otherwise, I have doubts where I lay on the sexuality scale: hetero.

    But other than my fetish for a woman's leg and shoulders, I don't feel very masculine. And I don't think I ever have. I prefer to avoid violence and prefer to talk about my feelings. I like to argue. I like to debate.

    Am I simply prescribing my feelings to be of a feminine nature? I've often had trouble in the past connecting or building a bond to men of my age range. Women in my age range I've had no problem with. Older men and women no problems.

    But all this leads to me often behaving in a way that may cause others to think I am homosexual. There's obviously nothing wrong with that orientation, but at the same time I don't want others to think I am something I'm not.

    I assume there's nothing to worry about right? Right? I can continue to be myself as I continue to grow as an adult right? Right?! :p
     
  2. TuffLuffJimmy macrumors G3

    TuffLuffJimmy

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  3. yojitani macrumors 68000

    yojitani

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    #3
    The problem is you are ascribing meaningless gendered values to behaviors that are not particularly gendered. In other words, you're measuring yourself against a bunch of stereotypes.
     
  4. citizenzen macrumors 65816

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    #4
    LEGS AND SHOULDERS?!

    Dude! Those parts hardly giggle AT ALL!


    I wouldn't sweat it.

    I'd go for wisdom.

    Masculinity is totally oversold.

    But I am a little worried about the shoulder thing.
     
  5. dmr727 macrumors G3

    dmr727

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    #5
    Who says you have to be very masculine? You are who you are. It's cool.
     
  6. citizenzen macrumors 65816

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    #6
    Check out the shoulders on this one...
     

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  7. .Andy macrumors 68030

    .Andy

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    #7
    Not really. Bobber isn't cool in the slightest. j/k!!!
     
  8. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    #8
    Certainly not after this thread....
     
  9. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #9
    Nothing to worry about at all. I have an aggressive personality, and for a long time had trouble relating to the gay community, as I hated the whole club scene, etc. I have since made my peace with that and learned to accept all members of the community. We're all different. Some of us love to do drag, some of us like techno, some of us like rock n roll, some of us like to dance all night, some of us are monogamous, and some of us like to run around.

    The same is true of straight people. Be yourself, but most importantly, accept those around you who are different from you. Do that one thing, and people will not confuse you for what you truly are. Give others the freedom to be themselves, and you'll find the favor returned. Trust me on this.
     
  10. bobber205 thread starter macrumors 68020

    bobber205

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    #10
    Touche.

    /thread (as well) :p
     
  11. bobber205 thread starter macrumors 68020

    bobber205

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    #11
    Dude. Shoulders are incredibly sexy. Most feminine part of the body (aside from the obvious places).

    :D

    ;)

    Hey! :p

    Will do Lee. :D
     
  12. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #12
    I'm serious. ;) Stop worrying about what people think of you and just BE you. You don;t want to be with someone who thinks these things of you anyway.
     
  13. bobber205 thread starter macrumors 68020

    bobber205

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    #13
    Thanks Lee. Just needed the confirmation. :D
     
  14. kavika411 macrumors 6502a

    kavika411

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  15. likemyorbs macrumors 68000

    likemyorbs

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    #15
    Dude, honestly, i wish i had your problem. i also like to talk about my feelings and have deep conversations and things like that, lucky for me i have a best friend who's like a brother to me who's exactly the same way (and i assure you he's 100% straight) . im not the most masculine guy out there by any means, i dont even like sports. my issue is i bond better with other guys and have an issue bonding with women (leading people to think im homosexual). so i say take advantage of the fact that you have a lot of women around you. i think you're comparing yourself with gender stereotypes, not all us guys are the same. We have feelings too, some of us are just too insecure to share them with one another.
     
  16. CaoCao macrumors 6502a

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    Jul 27, 2010
    #16
    If you practice ethics, courage and generosity what else is really needed?
    Yes, I'm somewhat old fashioned, but do others agree with that?

    PS being able to bond with women is definitely not bad
     
  17. bobber205 thread starter macrumors 68020

    bobber205

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    #17
    It's definitely not bad but just being myself puts me IMMEDIATELY into the friend zone. It's not that I don't try to make a move, I just am incapable of being the apparent jackoff they want. :p I guess I'll have to either get lucky (punny) with the right woman that appreciates someone like me or just wait till I get older.
     
  18. gkarris macrumors 604

    gkarris

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    #18
    If you're defining "masculine" as watching sports on a widescreen while drinking beer with Strippers - well it looks like I'm not even close... ;)
     
  19. likemyorbs macrumors 68000

    likemyorbs

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    #19
    That's what im saying, he'll probably have a great marriage in the future thanks to that. If you show compassion, sensitivity, and generosity, that's a real man. More of a man than some juiced up muscle head who doesn't discuss how he's feeling ever and acts like a douche.
     
  20. citizenzen macrumors 65816

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    Mar 22, 2010
    #20
    Stop looking for Barbie.

    You're not an alpha male... so what?

    There are tons of beta females in need of loving.

    Just open up your eyes... and lower your standards.*






    *Those stupid, blinding standards that most of us fall prey to.
     
  21. likemyorbs macrumors 68000

    likemyorbs

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    #21
    Same issue here man, you're not the only one. You'll find someone who loves you for you. This isn't uncommon at all.
     
  22. bobber205 thread starter macrumors 68020

    bobber205

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    #22
    I think my standards are in a good place. I would like to stay in the + or - 2 rule we all tend to live by. :p I don't want a Barbie, even if she for some reason wanted me.
     
  23. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    Feb 19, 2005
    #23
    And I have it on good authority that you're plenty masculine.

    Zing tall boys!
     
  24. likemyorbs macrumors 68000

    likemyorbs

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    #24
    You two know eachother?
     
  25. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    Feb 19, 2005
    #25
    Not in the sense you're likely thinking. :) he purchased some DVDs from me and I happened to be in the area so I delivered them. I was being funny in my post, really.
     

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