Just got a threatening phone call. Advise please.

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Dmac77, Apr 14, 2009.

  1. Dmac77 macrumors 68020

    Dmac77

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2008
    Location:
    Michigan
    #1
    Hey all,

    I just got an extremely disturbing phone call, and I'm kind of concerned about it.

    So about five minutes ago, I got a call on my cell, and I picked it up. I said hello, and the person said "We're going to get you, ******." Then they hung up.

    I'm freaking out about this, because I am gay. I don't know if it is someone from school playing a cruel joke on me (I'm 14). Or if someone really is going to try to hurt me. The number was blocked, so I can't even trace it. And I don't want to go to the police, because most of the police in my town (very small town) are homophobic, and it would probably cause me more harm then good. I can't go to my parents, because I'm not out to them. So I don't know what to do here. Should I try to skip school tomorrow, or what?

    Please help me here.

    Thanks,

    Don
     
  2. michael.lauden macrumors 68020

    michael.lauden

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2008
    #2
    i think you will be ok.

    even if something bad happens - which is a 1 in a million chance - just stand up for yourself.

    no one is going to risk their license, and being expelled at school to beat some kid up for no reason
     
  3. Dagless macrumors Core

    Dagless

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    Fighting to stay in the EU
    #3
    That could be kids having a laugh, that could be something more sinister.
    You could tell your parents about the call but don't mention the "******" bit, even though it might be the cause of the attack to begin with. I really don't know what you should do.
     
  4. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2005
    #4
    Honestly, there isn't much you can do than to simply report this to your school principle if you're not comfortable going to your parents. Regardless of the "******" term, you don't really have to come out to them. I cannot tell you the countless times someone has used the word "gay" or "fag" as an adjective. In other words, you can say you got the call and recite what was said without inciting suspicion with your in-the-closet sexual orientation.

    You're better off going to school and reporting it to someone in the unlikely event something does happen. I think this is kids being kids but then again all too many kids your age are hurting others so I'd feel badly if it were totally brushed off.

    Sorry are kids driving at 14 today or do you have direct knowledge that the caller(s) have a license to risk? :confused:
     
  5. mac88 macrumors 6502

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    Aug 7, 2008
    Location:
    Boston, MA.
    #5

    The police in your town are homophobic huh? And you know this how and what are they going to do string you up. With such a defeatist attitude already you should lock yourself in your room and never come out. It seems everyone is either against you or out to get you. Hell, for all you know it was probably the police who called you or your parents just wanted to let you know that they know. Good luck living life so paranoid!
     
  6. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

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    #6
    Your response disgusts me. The kid is worried, leave it at that.
     
  7. mac88 macrumors 6502

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    Boston, MA.
    #7
    He is obviously a paranoid individual. He can't even express his "fears" to anyone because of his impressions of others beliefs on him.
     
  8. Dmac77 thread starter macrumors 68020

    Dmac77

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    Jan 2, 2008
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    Michigan
    #8
    There are a total of five deputies in the town that I live in, plus the chief. I have met all of them, and I overhear them at the local diner a lot. They love to complain about "faggots getting more rights". My town is very conservative, and think that anything out of the "norm" should be stopped, or punished. So please don't lecture me about thinking that everyone is out to get me.

    Thanks Jessica. I think that I'll just report this to my guidance counselor, she's cool about this kind of stuff (she's one of the few people that I know who don't think being gay is a sin), and she'll help me with this.

    Don
     
  9. gibbz macrumors 68030

    Joined:
    May 31, 2007
    #9
    You must be a sheltered person. It isn't an "impression of beliefs" on him that is worrying. It is perceived violence, such as indicated in the phone call. American's have treated homosexuals just as violently as we did to the African Americans.

    Do you know where he lives? Many small towns (even big ones) have very bigoted law enforcement agencies. I wouldn't say he defeatist or paranoid, just realistic. How naive of you.
     
  10. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2005
    #10
    Let the kid worry, he is asking a question and if you're unsure as to whether or not you can avoid answering then let me be the first to say that you're free not to answer the kid's question. ;)
     
  11. michael.lauden macrumors 68020

    michael.lauden

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    Dec 25, 2008
    #11


    i assume that if it's a small town the high schools and middle schools are closely linked. i know when i was in 6th grade i took the same bus as seniors.

    and as someone who grew up in a largely latino area in south FL - beating up only hurts so bad. it's more embarrassing than anything.

    the best thing you can do is stand up for yourself.

    not trying to offend you - but i would just man up dude.
     
  12. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2004
    Location:
    Chicago, Illinois
    #12
    Keep your BS to yourself. I've been through this, and what he's describing is quite real. Be glad you don't have to experience it, and stay away from this thread. You obviously aren't here to help. :mad:

    That said- Don, do yourself a favor and don't go anywhere alone for a while. Always have friends around. Let your friends know what happened too. They may hear rumblings about who did it, and you can deal with it from there.

    Wrong thing to say. Threats should always be taken seriously. We have no way of knowing what the intention of the caller was, or if more people are involved. The best thing to do is exercise caution.
     
  13. mac88 macrumors 6502

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    Boston, MA.
    #13
    Your right every small town in America has bigoted law enforcement agencies. I would love to read your in depth study on this. And what the hell does this have to do with African Americans? Stay on subject now. He hasn't even attempted to discuss this with authorities because he's "realistic" as you say. He should probably never have any dealings with anyone because it really does seem that everyone is against him. I feel bad because the cards are stacked again him at such and early age.
     
  14. Surely Guest

    Surely

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    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #14
    Yeah, it's sooooooooo surprising to hear that some small town cops are (or might be) homophobic. How odd...... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

    What's the matter with you, mac88?

    I agree with some of the others- best thing to do is report the call. You can leave out the "******" part- that's not as important as the actual threat. At least if it's reported, it's documented in case it happens again.

    If you don't want to report it, document it yourself. Write down the date and time, and the quote from the message. Write down a description of the voice as well. That way if it does happen again, you have the specifics. If it happens again, document it again. At some point, if it does keep happening, you definitely should report it.

    Until this seems to pass, try not to be anywhere by yourself...... be aware of your surroundings and who is around you.
     
  15. ZunePod macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2009
    #15
    I used to get bullied like this, even though I'm not gay.

    All you can do is tone down the "******" and change it, or don't include it at all. I usually tone these things down.
     
  16. mac88 macrumors 6502

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    Boston, MA.
    #16
    Because you said so I will. The truth is a hard thing to hear and deal with especially when you are paranoid. Also, how do you propose he "deals" with this situation? He can't even discuss it with anyone!
     
  17. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    Dec 22, 2004
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    Chicago, Illinois
    #17
    You don't know Don's situation. Many of us here do, and trust me- he's not exaggerating. I have been through this. I've received the same kinds of threats before when I was living in a small town. I called the police. They laughed.

    I already mentioned how he should proceed at the moment.
     
  18. Dmac77 thread starter macrumors 68020

    Dmac77

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    Jan 2, 2008
    Location:
    Michigan
    #18
    I think I'll talk to my guidance counselor, and I'll keep a record of this. I won't go to the police this time, but if it happens again I will and I'll leave the "fa**ot" part out. And I'll also heed the advice to not go out alone. Hopefully this was just a cruel joke.

    Thanks for you help everyone. And Mac88 please keep your face out of this thread, it would be greatly appreciated.

    Don
     
  19. michael.lauden macrumors 68020

    michael.lauden

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    Dec 25, 2008
    #19
    dude he's 14. he will be ok it's just a prank. the best thing to do is man up and handle your own situations. if he really was worried for his own safety - he'd definitely "come out" and tell his parents.

    i feel that if the OP didn't state his sexuality none of you would be responding the way you are now.


    it's a small town. the worst thing that could happen is you get your butt kicked, and the kids goto juvi.

    if you take it like a man and don't like cry or something haha. just take it if you can't take them, don't fight back unless you can win. it will drastically change any situation like this.



    you could just surround yourself with friends tomorrow too. tell THEM if you can't tell your parents.
     
  20. ButtUglyJeff macrumors 6502a

    ButtUglyJeff

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2008
    Location:
    New York. The state, not the toilet.
    #20
    If you react to this, it will only encourage whoever it is to keep doing it. If you act above it and stand tall, you will come out on top. Even if you have to take a punch or two, in the process.

    I know this is easier said than done, but not being a "soft target" is in your best interest..........
     
  21. mac88 macrumors 6502

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    Aug 7, 2008
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    Boston, MA.
    #21
    Don't worry Don I will. I just hope you have read the truth on your paranoid feelings and general mistrust of individuals and do something to correct this way of thinking.
     
  22. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    Dec 22, 2004
    Location:
    Chicago, Illinois
    #22
    What? He has no way of knowing who placed that call. Might I remind you of recent case where a gay kid was killed in his own school?



    That's what I said. It's the best course for him to take at the moment. Don does not feel he can tell his parents at the moment, and he's got good reason. He's explained that to us before.
     
  23. aethelbert macrumors 601

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2007
    Location:
    Chicago, IL, USA
    #23
    I think that your choice to inform your school's guidance counselor is a good choice. It is more than likely someone that goes to your school, me thinks. In fact, it might be wise to make sure that the memo gets sent higher than that, possibly up to your principal. It is possible that similar things have been happening in the past to others (which probably wouldn't be publicly announced), and if the problems grow, they will need to be addressed. In addition, regardless of their social views on the matter, they won't want anyone to "get you" on school property as doing so can result in their reputation being severely tainted.

    Best of luck to you.
     
  24. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    Location:
    Chicago, Illinois
    #24
    You haven't managed to so far. What makes us think you will now? You have absolutely no idea what people like us have to face, especially in rural areas. So kindly take you BS and move on.
     
  25. Dmac77 thread starter macrumors 68020

    Dmac77

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2008
    Location:
    Michigan
    #25
    Now you're pissing me off. I asked for help and advise regarding this situation, not for some know it all wannabe shrink to psychoanalyze me and tell me that I'm paranoid.

    If it was you in my opinion you wouldn't be singing the same song, and I sure as hell wouldn't be lecturing you about being paranoid and having a complex. So I'm going to agree with Skunk and ask you to shut your face and get out of this thread unless you want to offer some helpful advice.

    Don
     

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