keeping busy in long distance relationships

MacFan26

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Jan 8, 2003
1,219
1
San Francisco, California
Anyone out there in a long distance relationship? What do you do to keep busy besides talking on the phone/online? I've been playing yahoo and games.com games, and Skype is a must. What do you do?
 

mad jew

Moderator emeritus
Apr 3, 2004
32,194
6
Adelaide, Australia
When I was in a long distance relationship I worked overtime to get money together to see her. She did the same. We eventually realised that we couldn't keep this up (strain on uni marks for a start) so we gave up. I then bought an iMac...
 

40167

macrumors regular
Sep 5, 2004
202
0
You could, if you know how to and both have broadband (as 56k doesnt work well, though ive done it) is you install a streaming server on one of the systems, run the movie and the other person watches the online stream... now in essence your watching the same movie, "together", at the same time.... If you two like chatting durring a movie, then skype eachother at the same time and you can watch the movie and talk to her at the same time. (This in my opinion is the best idea)

Another thing is if you both have webcams capable of less than 1 lux (pretty much dark) you can leave your monitor on and the webcam on and you two can "sleep together"... now thats does kinda get into the "super geek" status; but it works for some people.

One more thing is when you or she has a party, you could "be there" in essence if say the livingroom has a computer hooked up to the tv and theirs a webcam there... so when their having say christmas dinner; you can have your own dinner with your family on the other end, and chat away with eachother. This is mainly group video conferencing; and it involves more equipment than most people have; as you need a rather good video camera (a camcorder hooked to video in genearly seems best) and the computer needs to be on a large screen; probibly a tv... and it has to be close (such as one of the "heads") to the dinner table if your going to do the dinner thing.

I used to do this stuff (minus the sleeping, never did that one) so if you got any questions; just send a message over.
 

unfaded

macrumors 6502
Dec 12, 2002
276
0
Seattle, WA
I've been in two and they both ended in complete failure. I will not get in another one again. In my opinion, just not worth it. Good luck to you.
 

devilot

Moderator emeritus
May 1, 2005
15,532
2
unfaded said:
I've been in two and they both ended in complete failure. I will not get in another one again. In my opinion, just not worth it. Good luck to you.
That doesn't seem necessary to say. Surely the OP understands that there isn't a super high rate of success. But he and his partner have agreed to give it a shot. His original post was looking for ways to keep busy, not ideas about whether or not the relationship would work.

Ya know what's really refreshing? Write a good ol' fashioned letter and use snail mail. It's shows that you took the time, effort, and heart (sigh) to write and send it. OOOOH. I don't know if the two of you have always been long distance, but if not, then you can do what I did once-- gather up all the ticket stubs you can find (movies, concerts, parking garages from days spent away, zoos, etc) and pictures of the two of you and make your own scrapbook. You can either be sweet and send it to her/him or be a bit selfish and keep it for yourself to look over. I organized mine by month.

As for a distraction of the mind... I hear only good things about WoW. ;)
 

Lacero

macrumors 604
Jan 20, 2005
6,639
2
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" true to a certain extent if the love was there from the beginning, but infatuations have a tendency to diminish the longer you are apart and farther you are from each other which is sad but true and at a certain point, you've cross beyond the point of no return and your only recourse is to question your own identity to see if life really is worth living only to wait for the hope of a true romance that may never see the light of day with the distances involved and the social impacts of their lives and how it affects your commitment to each other in a way that can bring true and everlasting happiness, which we know only exists in wary romantic novels written by authors very much in the same predicament as yourself.
 

Abstract

macrumors Penryn
Dec 27, 2002
24,378
110
Location Location Location
andrebsd said:
You could, if you know how to and both have broadband (as 56k doesnt work well, though ive done it) is you install a streaming server on one of the systems, run the movie and the other person watches the online stream... now in essence your watching the same movie, "together", at the same time.... If you two like chatting durring a movie, then skype eachother at the same time and you can watch the movie and talk to her at the same time. (This in my opinion is the best idea)

Another thing is if you both have webcams capable of less than 1 lux (pretty much dark) you can leave your monitor on and the webcam on and you two can "sleep together"... now thats does kinda get into the "super geek" status; but it works for some people.

One more thing is when you or she has a party, you could "be there" in essence if say the livingroom has a computer hooked up to the tv and theirs a webcam there... so when their having say christmas dinner; you can have your own dinner with your family on the other end, and chat away with eachother. This is mainly group video conferencing; and it involves more equipment than most people have; as you need a rather good video camera (a camcorder hooked to video in genearly seems best) and the computer needs to be on a large screen; probibly a tv... and it has to be close (such as one of the "heads") to the dinner table if your going to do the dinner thing.

I used to do this stuff (minus the sleeping, never did that one) so if you got any questions; just send a message over.
I bow down to you, geek master.
 

Giaguara

macrumors 6502a
Nov 22, 2002
902
0
I can hopefully remove forever the word "long distance" next month when we get married.
Long distance sucks when you are convinced by every cell of your body that you have found the right other half for you.
But so .. .now
- iChat
- skype
- sms
- blogging together (yes, a shared blog for the 2 of us)
and yes, iSight is a nice thing to have....
 

efoto

macrumors 68030
Nov 16, 2004
2,627
0
Cloud 9 (-6)
MacFan26 said:
Congratulations! And what's sms?
I forget what it stands for, but SMS is referring to text messages on cellphones, which unless you both have plans including data, will rock your monthly bill like none other if you both start sending 5 a day (or more :eek: ).

If I may, how far a distance is this relationship? I have had many relationships at varying distances, and personally I actually find a certain distance to be quite beneficial to the relationship. Just curious of your situation so I can get a better feel of what to suggest.

Edit: Google returns SMS to mean "Short Message Service", fyi.
 

MacFan26

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Jan 8, 2003
1,219
1
San Francisco, California
efoto said:
I forget what it stands for, but SMS is referring to text messages on cellphones, which unless you both have plans including data, will rock your monthly bill like none other if you both start sending 5 a day (or more :eek: ).

If I may, how far a distance is this relationship?
Ahh, that sms, I gotcha. Yeah I've already gone over my minutes a couple times :eek: I don't think text messages would help, lol. In my case, the distance is from Arizona to South Dakota. We're both going to college now. We've been "dating" for almost a year, but we've only seen each other once. I know I know, most people would say to just forget about it, but that's easier said than done.
 

mactastic

macrumors 68040
Apr 24, 2003
3,647
661
Colly-fornia
You sure it's not abstinance that makes the heart grow fonder? :p

Hey, my now-wife and I did the distance thing for a year before we managed to get moved into the same place. It was tough, but worth it.
 

efoto

macrumors 68030
Nov 16, 2004
2,627
0
Cloud 9 (-6)
MacFan26 said:
Ahh, that sms, I gotcha. Yeah I've already gone over my minutes a couple times :eek: I don't think text messages would help, lol. In my case, the distance is from Arizona to South Dakota. We're both going to college now. We've been "dating" for almost a year, but we've only seen each other once. I know I know, most people would say to just forget about it, but that's easier said than done.
Well I assume that is the type of sms implied, if there is another then I don't know of it :confused:

I would suggest forgetting, I'm a sucker for love stories so I wish you the best and would urge you to make a movie later so I can watch everything that transpired :p As far as that distance, well my lack of western-state knowledge is amazing, can you fill me in with a kilometer or mile distance by chance? or hours of driving? I don't have a map and hate searching for state stuff.

The key for me when I was in North Carolina and she was in Michigan was to make sure that we DIDN'T talk every single night of the week. Sometimes you can be together (while apart) too often and that can stress the relationship out even more. I loved talking to her, her to me, but we made sure to do it on a two or three-day basis, which would give us things to talk about and not just be on the phone because we wanted to talk (but had nothing to say).
 

andym172

macrumors 6502
Oct 24, 2003
335
3
UK
My better half lives over 2,500 miles from me. We've been dating since February of this year and have now been apart for 2 months.

She's coming to visit me for 7 weeks, starting this coming Tuesday :)

iChat, SMS and www.dialaround.co.uk have helped enormously, although it can still be a huge strain, especially when you can tell that your other half is feeling down and needs and arm around her.

The 2 months apart have been a huge strain emotionally, and the forthcoming 7 weeks are going to be a huge strain on the old wallet (very little work, and lots of holidays, also having just returned from 4 months in Asia & Australia) :D

Good luck! :)
 

skubish

macrumors 68030
Feb 2, 2005
2,669
0
Ann Arbor, Michigan
MacFan26 said:
Anyone out there in a long distance relationship? What do you do to keep busy besides talking on the phone/online? I've been playing yahoo and games.com games, and Skype is a must. What do you do?
Always have someone on the side :)
 

MacFan26

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Jan 8, 2003
1,219
1
San Francisco, California
efoto said:
As far as that distance, well my lack of western-state knowledge is amazing, can you fill me in with a kilometer or mile distance by chance? or hours of driving?

The key for me when I was in North Carolina and she was in Michigan was to make sure that we DIDN'T talk every single night of the week.
It's about 1400 miles if you drive up through new mexico/colorado/nebraska and into SD, i.e. it takes two days at least.

And maybe that's a problem for us. We tend to talk all the time since we're geeks and always online. :rolleyes:
 

lem0n

macrumors regular
Mar 12, 2005
177
0
Milano...
take up knitting? that's what my friend did, then she gave her boyfriend all those scarves, gloves, sweaters... [ok, not that much, she gave some to us too]... how about learn a new instrument? take up a new hobby? aikido? Or just being plainly lazy and sleep... :D
 

efoto

macrumors 68030
Nov 16, 2004
2,627
0
Cloud 9 (-6)
MacFan26 said:
It's about 1400 miles if you drive up through new mexico/colorado/nebraska and into SD, i.e. it takes two days at least.

And maybe that's a problem for us. We tend to talk all the time since we're geeks and always online. :rolleyes:
It might sound like the worst idea ever, but give it a try and perhaps it might make things a touch better. Being online all the time isn't a bad thing (is it :confused: ) however always talking can get old at times....at least it did for me and her.

What do I know, we aren't together now....perhaps having the someone on the side is the best advice yet :rolleyes:, but I doubt it.
 

stridey

macrumors 65816
Jan 21, 2005
1,136
0
Massachusetts, Connecticut
I've been in an amazing long-distance relationship for two years now. In addition to all the above, I think a vital part is making sure that the times when you *do* see eachother are special. Romantic dinners, exciting adventures, long afternoons... um... enjoying the company...

Think of a long-distance releationship as a chance to make every minute that you are together that much better.