Mac comebacks!

Discussion in 'Community' started by easymac800g4, Dec 16, 2004.

  1. easymac800g4 macrumors member

    Dec 14, 2004
    tuscaloosa, Alabama
    ok mac users the time has come to show your stuff! give us the best one liner or little joke about macs and pc's you can think of. (ahem.. pro mac only please! but i dont have to tell you guys :D.) if you got a funny story about how you defended mac one day against the pc world out there, let us hear it.
  2. Lyle macrumors 68000


    Jun 11, 2003
    Madison, Alabama
    Nothing specific, but whenever a co-worker in a meeting mentions that their PC has locked up, or been trashed by a virus, etc. I say, "Wouldn't happen if you were using a Mac..." ;)
  3. Veldek macrumors 68000


    Mar 29, 2003
    Probably an old one and known in a lot of different versions, but here's mine:

    Three employees, one Intel, one Microsoft, one Apple go to the toilet. After being done, the Intel employee washes his hands and uses a lot of paper towels to dry them. He says: "At Intel, we are very thorough." The Microsoft employee washes his hands, takes only one paper towel and uses even the last little bit. He says: "At Microsoft, we are not only thorough, but very economical." Then they look at the Apple employee who just walks out of the door, looks back and says: "At Apple, we don't piss on our hands."
  4. iJon macrumors 604


    Feb 7, 2002
    I don't argue anymore, I find it a pathetic waste of time. I only talk to PC people about Macs if they are interested in purchasing one and actually want to learn.

  5. musicpyrite macrumors 68000


    Jan 6, 2004
    Cape Cod
    Not really a joke, but my friend (I use the word friend lightly) was shocked and in disbelief when I told him that there are no virii for OS X.

  6. puckhead193 macrumors G3


    May 25, 2004
    "Its plug and play, not plug and get mad, everything on my mac works, no questions, no stupid bleeps, nuthing it just works"
  7. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Sep 19, 2002
    Los Angeles
    I can think of lots of sarcastic ways to make my point, but I never actually use them.

    One: "Oh, I forgot. You're still using a PC."

    Another: "I'm not smart enough to clean viruses off my computer, follow arcane setup instructions, deal with drivers that don't work, and know just when to give up and return peripherals and software that aren't compatible. So I'm forced to use Macs where everything is easy."

    Yet another: "I paid $200 more for my Mac than an equivalent PC would have cost. And I only save about a hour a day because of less maintenance. Maybe it wasn't worth it, since I won't break even for another week or two."
  8. rhpenguin macrumors 6502a


    Jun 10, 2003
    London, Ontario
    Since i cant recomend buying an Apple Computer in any other country than America (due to poor support for people outside of USA) I dont tell anyone anything.

    If people ask, then i'll let them know what i honnestly think... And what im starting to think isnt very good.. Its a good thing OSX is a very good OS.
  9. Mr_Ed macrumors 6502

    Mar 10, 2004
    North and east of Mickeyland
    My favorite is this quote attributed to Tom Clancy:
  10. mcarnes macrumors 68000


    Mar 14, 2004
    USA! USA!
    Well, of course there are the staple word substitutions:

    Micro**** (my favorite)
    Dull (for Dell)
    Longhorn (needs no alteration)

    Any others?
  11. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Nov 1, 2001
    but you see, that's not right - I have to reboot on occasion, it happens. Arguing about it is silly - as long as you can get what you want done on a machine and are happy about it is all that matters.

  12. Mr_Ed macrumors 6502

    Mar 10, 2004
    North and east of Mickeyland
    On 'Microsoft': I have sometimes pointed out to friends that the boys in Redmond are not all that bright. I mean, would YOU give your company a name that essentially means "small" and "flaccid"?
  13. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    May 19, 2002
    Yes, trying to teach a PC bigot about Macs is like trying to make a Redneck to like wine.
  14. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

    Jul 4, 2004
    Loving your work!

    The appropriate level of condescension and feigned ennui...
  15. Littleodie914 macrumors 68000


    Jun 9, 2004
    Rochester, NY
    Always liked this one...

    Windows is a 32-bit extension to a 16-bit graphical shell for an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition. :D
  16. applekid macrumors 68020

    Jul 3, 2003
    Here's the problem with people in general: They're afraid to learn new things. The only things I ever hear from people when I try to get them to use a Mac is: "The interface is too different," "They crash often," "They suck." All I hear is ignorance. It sounds like they never touched a Mac. Insulting them doesn't help. If you want people to switch, you need to find open-minded people or show them the ropes. I think I may have a chance at Apple Retail ;) (Gotta post a resume sometime...)

    Anyways, a few of the things I say to those PC-lovers out there:
    - "What's a virus?"
    - "I haven't scanned for viruses in... Oh wait. Haven't had to in my lifetime!" (for me, it's true!)
    - "Don't click that link! Some spyware might get through!"
    - "Uh-oh! A pop-up ad! That can only mean spyware!"
    - "You might wanna get offline soon. A hacker might get in."
    - "I'm sorry, but my computer actually works!"
    - "I haven't restarted my computer in a while. I think I actually miss rebooting!"
    - "I'm sorry, I don't plan on wasting my weekend reformatting my HD and reinstalling drivers."

    Get 'em where it hurts.

    I only toss insults at my friends that are highly "computer literate" (so pretty much those PC gamers, but they are almost as ignorant as the rest of the PC crowd). We can get a good laugh since we're nerdy enough to understand it ;) I wouldn't insult the regular PC user that I run into. I try to teach them. You should do the same.
  17. stubeeef macrumors 68030


    Aug 10, 2004
    This one is obviously old, but it sticks in my old brain.

    I would rather be in hell than be in dos.
  18. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Sep 19, 2002
    Los Angeles
    Hey, stop being honest! You're not going to have much of a career as a used car salesman (which I'm sure you long for) if you admit there are downsides when giving a sales pitch. We're just trying to find ways to add a little style to the one-sided persuasion.
  19. MattG macrumors 68040


    May 27, 2003
    Asheville, NC
    I just enjoy when people ask me "well what do you do when you have problems like this?"

    "I don't have problems like this...I don't use Windows :)"

    I work for the IT Department at work, where all but two or three of my coworkers are Mac-bigots. I never miss an opportunity to say something when one of them has to send out an email warning everyone about the latest virus or Spyware problem.
  20. Thomas Veil macrumors 68020

    Thomas Veil

    Feb 14, 2004
    OBJECTIVE reality
    An old but classic line: "Once you go Mac, you never go back."
  21. urban1985_ macrumors regular

    Dec 7, 2004
    Burnaby, British Columbia
    Hence the sig hehe ;)
  22. snkTab macrumors 6502a


    Nov 13, 2004
    Cincinnati, OH
    antiwindows - Here we go again

    I hate how people are anti-mac for no reason. When my GFs cousin found out I got her an iMac he said "Macs are gay." At least Macheads have swung both ways. He's never used one. So my one-liner. Using windows is like being force feed "poop", after many years you get used to it, and just because they change it, doesn't change the fact that it's still "poop".

    It also sucks that many had their brief experience with Apple during the dark days. Don't watch this if you really really love your mac. I like using denial and thinking that the ad refers to e-machines only. Also, bad language... watch out. anti-mac

    lol.... emachines. Me or my family have never owned an e-machine mac, and don't let anyone tell you different. okay, it was my dad.
  23. bubbamac macrumors 6502

    Dec 24, 2003
    You want to play games, get an XBOX, you want to get viruses, get Windows, you want to work, get a Mac.

    With Windows, it's not plug and play, it's plug and PRAY.

    People are routinely amazed when I pull my PB out, open it up, and start working after about 5 seconds. They're even more amazed when I tell them I have only shut my PB down twice in two years. "Yea, MS hasn't gotten the idea of 'sleep' mode down quite yet - but it's better than it used to be."

    In a related vein, it's always fun to hook up to some form of ethernet without a reboot, while the Windows crowd waits, and waits, and waits....

    "Yea, this is a Mac only app, but I can just save it as a .pdf and email it to you - give me a sec. Oh, yea, that's part of the OS!"
  24. JeDiBoYTJ macrumors 6502a


    Jun 22, 2004
    Ft. Lauderdale, FL
    well, since this is somewhat of a anti-microsoft topic, i'd figure this one is approprate:

    "The day Microsoft makes something that doesnt suck, is the day they start making vaccum cleaners"
  25. neilrobinson macrumors 6502

    Aug 21, 2004
    Perth, WA, Australia
    i like what i see... :D made my day

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