Macrumors is like a free therapist that I abuse far too much

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by upsguy27, Mar 18, 2011.

  1. upsguy27 macrumors 65816

    upsguy27

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Location:
    Arizona
    #1
    So, completely hypothetically... let's say this guy and girl are best friends currently who used to date, and are also **** buddies, and they go to this party with this other guy that has already been previously hated by the first guy. This irrational hatred is due to the second guy (hereafter referred to as "dick") and the girl going to a party months ago with the main guy, and it ending up being them getting drunk and him feeling her up. Not really that big of a deal, but it bothered the guy extremely and still does to this day.

    So, now there's this other party, that the guy, girl, and dick end up going to together. The night is going great, though the guy has fears that the night will end up the same way it did last time. As everyone is going to sleep, they're all over each other, drunken and he's basically feeling her up again (the dick), so the guy gets an overwhelming feeling of jealousy and after unsuccessfully trying to get them apart and looking like an idiot, runs away from the party and doesn't come back till morning.

    QUESTION IS, IN THIS TOTALLY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION, IS IT COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL FOR THE GUY TO HAVE EXTREME JEALOUSY TOWARD THE GIRL AND THE DICK

    That applies to both times too, the party months ago and the much more recent one. Is he justified in feeling hardcore jealous (considering the fact that the guy and girl are best friend **** buddies), or is the jealousy completely unjustified? Also, just because he got/gets extremely jealous of that kind of thing doesn't HAVE to mean he has romantic feelings for her, right?
     
  2. upsguy27 thread starter macrumors 65816

    upsguy27

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Location:
    Arizona
    #2
    Oh God I hope this post makes sense, I kind of just vomited words
     
  3. robbieduncan Moderator emeritus

    robbieduncan

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Location:
    London
    #3
    **** buddies will only work if you have basically no feelings towards the buddy. In this case you clearly do, hence the jealousy. I'd suggest you need to re-assess the **** buddy status...
     
  4. Mac'nCheese macrumors 68030

    Mac'nCheese

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    #4
    I hate your entire generation. **** buddies! Unreal. When I was in HS, if you got a BJ from your GIRLFRIEND you had been dating for years, you were lucky beyond belief. Now, you get to have sex with your friends just because, hey, that's what **** buddies do! Unbelievable!


    To answer your questions, yes, it seems like you have feelings for your friends and that's is why you are jealous. Something you shouldn't be if you are just buddies. Even **** buddies.....


    Did I mention I hate your generation?
     
  5. upsguy27 thread starter macrumors 65816

    upsguy27

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Location:
    Arizona
    #5
    Yeah, I understand that under normal circumstances, it would be bad to feel that jealousy because of the whole **** buddies concept but, it's more than just that with her, we're best friends, we do literally everything a normal couple would do, physically and emotionally, just without the official dating title and of course without the romantic feelings. So when I see the same thing going on with another guy, drunk or not, I think it's kind of okay to get jealous?
     
  6. Mac'nCheese macrumors 68030

    Mac'nCheese

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    #6
    I think its perfectly normal to get jealous. However, I think it does show that you might have some romantic feelings for her.
     
  7. robbieduncan Moderator emeritus

    robbieduncan

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Location:
    London
    #7
    It's clear you have the romantic feelings. If it was just about getting some every so often you'd not care about what she does with anything else. This is the stuff of low-quality Holywood date movies. Apart from the fact that unless you do something, make it clear you want to date her, there will not be a happy ending. Just heartache, bitterness and pain.
     
  8. Dalton63841 macrumors 65816

    Dalton63841

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2010
    Location:
    SEMO, USA
    #8
    You are lying to yourself, and everyone around you. You DO have those feelings toward each other. Just one or both of you are too afraid to acknowledge them, retreating to the safety of not labeling what you have.

    If she is that special, tell her. Take the label if she feels the same way, and then punch dick in the mouth if it bothers you that much. Then, get over it.
     
  9. upsguy27 thread starter macrumors 65816

    upsguy27

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2007
    Location:
    Arizona
    #9
    I picture us dating again, and it seems much worse than what we have now... I love what we have and everything, it's great, there are just times like this where jealously comes out. I honestly don't believe I have hardcore romantic feelings for her anymore, and I don't think she does either, I think what we have has become something better than dating for both of us. I've been able to keep the jealousy under control, except for these two damn incidents...
     
  10. Dalton63841 macrumors 65816

    Dalton63841

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2010
    Location:
    SEMO, USA
    #10
    LOL Obviously you have spent too much time rationalizing this in your head, and came here only for approval of what you settled on. I stand by previous statements.

    For the record, don't take offense to my statement about rationalizing in your own head and looking for approval. Every single person on the planet does it. It's more or less like a defense mechanism of sorts.
     
  11. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2008
    Location:
    On tenterhooks
    #11
    Robbie is correct.

    You call yourselves **** buddies, but it is obvious that only she feels that way.

    You need to bet, or fold.

    If she is not interested, back away, and find release in 'other' ways.
     
  12. wvuwhat macrumors 65816

    wvuwhat

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2007
    #12
    Tell the girl how you feel. Including your thoughts on the other guy (dick).


    First, you definitely have feelings for this girl. Second, if she does have feelings for you, she'll have no problem not talking to the (dick) again.


    If she tries to make excuses about how she likes talking/hanging to/out with that guy, then, it's not worth your time.
     
  13. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2005
    #13
    If I recall, the Op has a history of being alarmingly jealous in a very unhealthy way.

    OP, a **** buddy is not for you.
     
  14. firestarter macrumors 603

    firestarter

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2002
    Location:
    Green and pleasant land
    #14
    This totally makes you and the other guy bajingo brothers.

    You should totally invite him 'round for some bromantic action. Maybe a pizza, beers, watch a game.

    You could have a threesome and get your **** buddy to watch.
     
  15. neko girl macrumors 6502a

    neko girl

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2011
    #15
    I can't read the ****s. Do you mean iPad buddies?
     
  16. 184550 Guest

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    #16
    Does she echo the sentiment you've expressed here in regard to the relationship?

    In my (regretful) experience most everything one does drunk is a pretty good indication of what they wish they could do/ say sober.

    Yes, and they Bump. A lot.
     
  17. Leet Apple macrumors 6502a

    Leet Apple

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2009
    Location:
    Canada
    #17
    You need to watch No Strings Attached, **** buddies never works out without someone catching feelings for the other.

    The Guy Should Move on, Clearly Dick is trying to becomes a **** buddy and **** buddies are only **** buddies nothing more...UNLESS feelings are mutual
     
  18. vincenz macrumors 601

    vincenz

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2008
    #18
    I love this thread.

    :d:d:d
     
  19. Reach9 macrumors 68020

    Reach9

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2010
    Location:
    In America
    #19
    LOL agreed. Sadly, i'm apart of the generation and it just disgusts me. I feel that kids younger and younger will start sleeping with each other, until it's gonna get to a point where it can't and it'll plateau, until some next thing like "threesomes are the norm" will come up.
     

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