Man accused of trying to have sex with van

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by steve knight, Aug 18, 2016.

  1. steve knight macrumors 68020

    steve knight

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2009
    #1
    I need more humor.
    this gives new meaning the saying "getting up in your grill".

    http://www.click2houston.com/news/man-accused-of-trying-to-have-sex-with-van

    DAYTON, Ohio (WDTN) - An Ohio man was arrested after being accused of trying to have sex with a parked van.

    According to a police report, officers were called around 8 p.m. Tuesday for a report that a man was pulling his pants down and swinging on a stop sign.


    When police arrived in the area, they said they found a man walking, wearing black gym shorts and shoes. The man, identified as Michael Henson, appeared to be intoxicated, the report said.

    Officers put him in the back of a police car and spoke with the woman who called police. She told them she saw the man standing near a parked van. She went on to explain she saw Henson pull his shorts down and place his genitals in the front grill of the van.

    The woman said he did this for a while then appeared to pass out in a nearby yard. That's when she called police.
    [/QUOTE]
     
  2. Shirasaki macrumors 603

    Shirasaki

    Joined:
    May 16, 2015
    #2
    So nowadays men are so eager to have a sex that they don't even care about who/which they are having sex with...
    Really? o_O
     
  3. SLC Flyfishing Suspended

    SLC Flyfishing

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    Location:
    Portland, OR
    #3
    You forgot the part about him being Christian or republican.
     
  4. jkcerda macrumors 6502

    jkcerda

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    Location:
    Criminal Mexi Midget
    #4
    if it was a white NRA member & a cop he would be in heaven :p
    --- Post Merged, Aug 18, 2016 ---
    heard of puberty? I am going to guess you are not a male?
     
  5. steve knight thread starter macrumors 68020

    steve knight

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2009
    #5
    he was? now thats a really big sin. I think there is something about sex with inanimate objects in the bible. now was he circularized that could get him caught.
    --- Post Merged, Aug 18, 2016 ---
    I thought they got you all excited?
    --- Post Merged, Aug 18, 2016 ---
    well that made this fun are you always a party pooper?
     
  6. LizKat macrumors 68040

    LizKat

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Catskill Mountains
    #6
    Public indecency charge the best the cops could do? Should have had a "caption this" contest.
     
  7. thewap macrumors demi-god

    thewap

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2012
  8. ActionableMango macrumors 604

    ActionableMango

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2010
    #8
    I think you meant to type something very different. ;)

    --------------------

    cir·cu·lar·ize
    ˈsərkyələˌrīz/
    verb
    past tense: circularized; past participle: circularized
    1. 1.
      distribute a large number of letters, leaflets, or questionnaires to (a group of people) in order to advertise something or canvas opinion.
     
  9. LizKat macrumors 68040

    LizKat

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Location:
    Catskill Mountains
    #10
    Thread's past my pay grade now I think.
     
  10. steve knight thread starter macrumors 68020

    steve knight

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2009
    #11
    your right circumcised
     
  11. LizKat macrumors 68040

    LizKat

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    Aug 5, 2004
    Location:
    Catskill Mountains
    #12
    Double down.
     
  12. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

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    CT
    #13
    Hope it was a mini van. I don't think he could handle a full size one.
     
  13. Shirasaki macrumors 603

    Shirasaki

    Joined:
    May 16, 2015
    #14
    Nope. Never heard of it.
     
  14. jkcerda macrumors 6502

    jkcerda

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    Jun 10, 2013
    Location:
    Criminal Mexi Midget
    #15
    You must play WOW :D
     
  15. Shirasaki macrumors 603

    Shirasaki

    Joined:
    May 16, 2015
    #16
    World of Warcraft? No...
    I play Hyperdimension Neptune.
     
  16. thekev macrumors 604

    thekev

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2010
    #17
    I got to thread way too late. Snarky jokes about Florida were made, but I can still add onto jkcerda's point using a silly graphic. I considered adding unnecessary censorship to a different image, but I would prefer to avoid a timeout.

    [​IMG]
     
  17. pdqgp macrumors 68020

    pdqgp

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    Mar 23, 2010
    #18
    Sounds like he finished.
     
  18. yaxomoxay macrumors 68000

    yaxomoxay

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    Texas
  19. samcraig macrumors P6

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    Jun 22, 2009
    #20
    I think the important issue is - was the van American-made or Foreign? Because this guy shouldn't be outsourcing...
     
  20. aaronvan Suspended

    aaronvan

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    República Cascadia
    #21
    Hope he wasn't watching "My Mother the Car."
     
  21. Shark5150 macrumors 6502a

    Shark5150

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    Philly
  22. samcraig, Aug 18, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2016

    samcraig macrumors P6

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2009
    #23
    "I ain't fallin for no banana in my tailpipe"
     
  23. steve knight thread starter macrumors 68020

    steve knight

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2009
    #24
    maybe several times.
     
  24. Zenithal Suspended

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    #25
    Does Audi make vans? Audis have a lot of holes. I'd imagine it could come useful to a weirdo like this.
     

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