Marriage (offshoot from "How many times have you been married?")

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by mattscott306, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. mattscott306 macrumors 68040

    mattscott306

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2007
    #1
    Well, glad you could shove your view down everyone's throats in such a nice and kind way.

    While I may agree, divorce should be a last resort, it is still necessary in some/many cases, and the way you stated your view really degrades the validity of the argument.
     
  2. bartelby macrumors Core

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    Jun 16, 2004
    #2
    Nice bit of dated thinking. Well done.
     
  3. PlaceofDis macrumors Core

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    Jan 6, 2004
    #3
    from a religious point of view i understand. (not that i'm religious, but i understand that its a belief)

    however, from a sociological view, its nothing more than serial monogamy.
     
  4. ezzie macrumors 68020

    ezzie

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    #4
    well, it does happen, believe it or not. :)

    i've known a few people who have been divorced, and even though i tend to agree with your point about divorce being a bit too "socially accepted", these people are much happier with their "second" spouses.

    would you rather people suffer through bad marriages? not all marriages can be saved, although there are some folks who just give up much too easily.
     
  5. calculus Guest

    calculus

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    Dec 12, 2005
    #5
    Well thanks very much for that. I'll pass that on to my lovely (second) wife and children.
     
  6. Queso macrumors G4

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    Mar 4, 2006
    #6
    May I suggest you go back to post #1 and read Q's point about the PRSI forum?

    Many thanks.
     
  7. 173080 macrumors 6502

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    Aug 15, 2003
    #7
    Done. I just typed what was on my mind without thinking about the relevance to the thread.
     
  8. MarkCollette macrumors 68000

    MarkCollette

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    Mar 6, 2003
    Location:
    Calgary, Canada
    #8
    Was common-law for a couple years, but not married.

    Still not convinced that getting married forever is the way to go. Maybe a model of serial monogamy is more reproductively efficient. You know, where you fall in love, have kids, and then pretend to have a cocaine habit, so the wife leaves you, and you don't have to pay alimony. Do that four or five times. Then you can always "clean up", and go back to the family with the prettiest wife / cutest kids / best dog.

    /Why do I always troll when I'm sleep deprived? :)
     
  9. miloblithe macrumors 68020

    miloblithe

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    #9
    173080, do you believe that people whose spouses die should be allowed to remarry?
     
  10. pseudobrit macrumors 68040

    pseudobrit

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    #10
    I'm Catholic, so most would think my views pretty hardcore about what marriage means and how it's considered.

    In essence, I think that a Catholic marriage is permanent and cannot be undone. If I were to marry, divorce and remarry I would be a bigamist.

    Of course as far as the law and society itself are concerned, it's none of my business and I understand everyone has different values and I fully accept this and them.
     
  11. 173080 macrumors 6502

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    Aug 15, 2003
    #11
    It's entirely up to them, just like the ones who get divorced and re-marry. I'm not anyone to tell them what they can or can't do. It's just something that I personally wouldn't do.

    That said, I wouldn't re-marry if my spouse died. I think it would be disrespectful to her if I did. I don't believe that one's committment in marriage ends with his or her spouse's death.
     
  12. walangij macrumors 6502

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    MI
    #12
    Well thats honorable of you, but at least in the US, it's "till death do us part" which is seen as fine for someone to get married once their spouse is deceased (in many religious beliefs too).
     
  13. SMM macrumors 65816

    SMM

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    #13
    I am happily married for ~20 years. I am not a perfect husband, but I never stop trying. Edie is perfect. I have never been within a light-year of forsaking my vows.

    However, I realize that not all relationships end well, regardless of the honesty going in, or the effort trying to succeed. What is ever better, I feel no compulsion to sit in judgement over others.

    Let me guess; it is summer, God went on vacation and left you in charge, right?
     
  14. calculus Guest

    calculus

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    Dec 12, 2005
    #14
    I don't think you can really say what you might do until you are faced with a particular situation
     
  15. nbs2 macrumors 68030

    nbs2

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    #15
    I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of getting remarried, but that has more to do with the effort that goes into planning a wedding than any actual opposition.

    calculus and anyone else who has gotten remarried, I am curious to know if you had a smaller/simpler ceremony/reception the second time around. I don't think I could handle getting married again.
     
  16. skunk macrumors G4

    skunk

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    #16
    Sounds awfully close to necrophilia to me.
     
  17. calculus Guest

    calculus

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    Dec 12, 2005
    #17
    Second one was at a register office rather than a church. Fewer people but a better reception. The real difference though was getting married as 'grown-ups' - we did all the organising ourselves with no 'help' from parents and so on.
     
  18. nbs2 macrumors 68030

    nbs2

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    #18
    UGH. Even worse.:p The only thing that kept us sane was being able to offload a fair bit of the planning on to my parents.
     
  19. Queso macrumors G4

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    Mar 4, 2006
    #19
    I don't get this attitude that marriage has to be permanent. Sometimes things just don't work out. If you hated your job or the town where you lived you'd change it, so why stay in a relationship that is going the same way?

    Some people need that first marriage before they realise what will truly make them happy. They can then avoid making the same mistake with spouse #2. All power to those that are happy in their first of course, but nobody should be judgemental of those that aren't.
     
  20. 173080 macrumors 6502

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    Aug 15, 2003
    #20
    Marriage cannot be compared to living in a certain town or working at a specific place.

    Some people get married without being absolutely sure of what they want. Maybe they don't know each other well enough or the communication isn't as good as it should be. Either way, if one isn't absolutely sure about getting married, why do it? It's not a game.

    My guess is that some people take it lightly and think "Even though I'm not sure about this person, I kinda like her/him so we'll see if it works out anyway." That's what dating is for, not marriage.

    I understand that there are certain exceptions in which divorce is well deserved. (abuse, infidelity, among others.)
     
  21. 173080 macrumors 6502

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    Aug 15, 2003
    #21
    No. It's just respect for your loved one.
     
  22. miloblithe macrumors 68020

    miloblithe

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    #22
    It must be so wonderful to be both completely sure of yourself that you never make any bad decisions and to be completely right about things.
     
  23. Queso macrumors G4

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    Mar 4, 2006
    #23
    It can be compared, which I just proved by doing precisely that. It's a contract, similar to employment, and a life choice, similar to where you live. It all depends on your perspective.
     
  24. calculus Guest

    calculus

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    Dec 12, 2005
    #24
    You don't have much experience of life do you...
     

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