[Men] Wives' surnames (women can comment too, of course)

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by ravenvii, Nov 17, 2008.

  1. ravenvii macrumors 604

    ravenvii

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2004
    Location:
    Melenkurion Skyweir
    #1
    What do you men think about the change of women's last names after marriage? Increasingly today women do not change their last names when married, or change their name to Hislastname-Herlastname.

    What do you men think? What did/would you want your current/future wife to do? What ended up actually happing?

    Women of course are welcome to comment on their thoughts.

    (For the record, no I am not planning on getting married anytime soon, I was just randomly thinking about this, and wondering what others think).
     
  2. Jaffa Cake macrumors Core

    Jaffa Cake

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    Aug 1, 2004
    Location:
    The City of Culture, Englandshire
    #2
    I'd want her to do what she wanted to do. I'm reasonably sure that she'd want to change her surname to match mine, though.
     
  3. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2003
    #3
    Whatever she wanted to do would be fine with me. :)
     
  4. QuarterSwede macrumors G3

    QuarterSwede

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2005
    Location:
    Colorado Springs, CO
    #4
    I wanted my wife to move her surname to her middle (as my mother did) but she liked her middle name so much that she just dropped her surname and then added my surname.
     
  5. plinden macrumors 68040

    plinden

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2004
    #5
    My wife still uses her own surname, through laziness rather than any principle. I don't care either way. She's the boss of me anyway.
     
  6. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2003
    Location:
    Colly-fornia
    #6
    My wife took my name when we got married, and added her old last name as a second middle name on her official records, although in practice she only uses her first name, original middle name, and my last name.

    In no small part, because my last name is an easy one, and her old last name was a bear to get others to understand. So part of it was utilitarian.
     
  7. .Andy macrumors 68030

    .Andy

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Location:
    The Mergui Archipelago
    #7
    My wife kept her maiden name. We're both professionals and have a lot tied to our names and besides a gesture we both didn't see a change of name being that relevant to us. If we have children I would like them to have my wife's name. She does more of the work in that department :D.
     
  8. iShater macrumors 604

    iShater

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2002
    Location:
    Chicagoland
    #8
    My wife added mine to hers to make official paper work easier, but when she is mad at me she drops it on purpose :D
     
  9. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2004
    #9

    You both speak as though you actually have a choice. :D

    My mother did the hyphenated thing, which apparently was a huge topic of never-ending neighborhood gossip in the late 1950s. If it came to me, I'd see at the time, no firm thoughts on the matter... I guess it depends on whether my future husband's name is Rockefeller. ;)
     
  10. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Colorado
    #10
    My wife and I are kind of traditionalists. When we got married, we both agreed that she would take my last name.
     
  11. Jaffa Cake macrumors Core

    Jaffa Cake

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
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    The City of Culture, Englandshire
    #11
    Please allow us our delusions, they're all we have. :p
     
  12. themoonisdown09 macrumors 601

    themoonisdown09

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2007
    Location:
    Georgia, USA
    #12
    Same here. My wife didn't think twice about changing her last name. In fact, she was so excited when her name actually changed.
     
  13. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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  14. zap2 macrumors 604

    zap2

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2005
    Location:
    Washington D.C
    #14
    No thanks.


    I'm keeping my name, and my wife can too. Or she can change it, what ever she pleases.


    If other men want to take thier wives last name, go for it.
     
  15. Surely Guest

    Surely

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2007
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #15
    My wife kept her last name, mostly for professional reasons. It would have been a PITA to change all of her official documentation.

    In social situations, she uses my last name.

    It doesn't matter, she knows I own her. :D

    /ducks and hides..... and prays she doesn't read this thread.....
     
  16. RedTomato macrumors 68040

    RedTomato

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Location:
    .. London ..
    #16
    My partner keeps hers. I'd never ask someone to give up their last name. I personally think it's a horrible idea.

    It's fine if someone really really wants to do it, but if that's the case for most people, why do we never see men taking their female partner's name? I'm sure some bloke somewhere has done it, but I personally have never seen a single example.

    I also can't think of any gay or lesbian marriages where one partner has chosen to completely abandon permanently his or her last name. (I don't mean just playing with calling themselves mr and mrs xxx, we've all done that :) )

    Our child has both our last names hyphenated. We often put them different ways round, which can be fun when going for doctor appointments - did we register her under xxx-yyy or yyy-xxx? :D
     
  17. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2004
    Location:
    Chicago, Illinois
    #17
    I have a some friends who recently married. He had a long, polish name involving just about every name in the alphabet. Hers was really cool. She already wasn't going to take his name, so I told him to take hers. He didn't, but he should have. :) Her last name is "Ness". I'm sorry, that's a cool last name.
     
  18. Antares macrumors 68000

    Antares

    #18
    I don't personally care what my future wife chooses.

    Men's last names are carried through history...women's are typically not...which is interesting in and of itself. It doesn't matter if the woman keeps her maiden name, the child typically takes the father's last name...the child can't take both...otherwise, after only one generation, you would already get quite a long name: ChildFirstName MotherLastName-FatherLastName-Husband'sFatherLastName-Husband'sMotherLastName.

    Now, what if the husband and wife both change their last name when they get married? Merge them into a new last name. i.e. John Bauman and Jennifer Doggart get married and change their names to John Bauart and Jennifer Bauart. That could be an interesting change in tradition. A single family name would no longer continue through history...the last name would change each time the children of the next generation get married.

    Of course, the husband and wife could alternatively both hyphenate their last name. But then, what last name would the child use? If the kid took both, you would have the problem that I stated above.
     
  19. sfh macrumors regular

    Joined:
    May 27, 2008
    Location:
    Sacramento CA
    #19
    mine finally changed her name but i didn't really care (i don't like my last name ... reminds me of being teased all my life)
     
  20. it5five macrumors 65816

    it5five

    Joined:
    May 31, 2006
    Location:
    New York
    #20
    My girlfriend and I don't plan on getting married, but if we do for some reason, she will keep her last name.

    EDIT:

    Agreed. I like what you did with your child's name too. We'll probably end up doing the same.
     
  21. Dagless macrumors Core

    Dagless

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    Fighting to stay in the EU
    #21
    My surname is quite common where I live and has quite positive connotations to locals, hers is not common at all. Only 1 "famous" person shares her surname and he's an MSP.
    We've spoke about this before and she'll be taking my surname. Maybe I'm old fashioned but IMO it just makes it all sound a little more official-ish too.
     
  22. Queso macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2006
    #22
    Booo!! Discriminatory thread :D

    We kept our own names FWIW. No hyphens, no changes, just too busy to bother with all that nonsense :)
     
  23. gonyr macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2006
    Location:
    Niagara County, NY
    #23
    My wife kept her original name when we were first married. Later, when our child was born, she changed it so we would all have the same last name. She still uses the original name professionally, though. She likes having an "alias", and it makes it virtually impossible for her clients to contact her at home.
     
  24. Gray-Wolf macrumors 68030

    Gray-Wolf

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    Apr 19, 2008
    Location:
    Pandora, Home Tree
    #24
    If or when I ever marry, she will take my last name. "The two shall become one flesh" which includes one name. :rolleyes:
     
  25. atszyman macrumors 68020

    atszyman

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2003
    Location:
    The Dallas 'burbs
    #25
    That sounds like my name... Of course my wife was a traditionalist, I didn't insist. I opted not to take hers due to the combination of my first her last would have been someone I knew from my hometown and would have rather not shared a name with.

    Then why don't you take hers? Why should yours be the dominant name? Shouldn't it be her choice, and and with a mutual decision by both of you?
     

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