Don Dwyer is a sleestak that represents the Glen Burnie (redneck) district here in Maryland. Some may be aware that I write this man frequently, and get letters back from his helpful staff. Additionally, he's failed to get a gay marriage ammendment passed and gets laughed at by most anyone with a brain. He's even gone so far as to try and remove a judge that said the Maryland law banning gay marriage was unconstitutional by impeaching her. I obviously don't like this man very much. Today, I pull up into Trader Joe's to do my weekly bit o' shopping and pull into a space next to a minivan with a "Re-elect Delegate Dwyer" bumper sticker. I originally wanted to put a tire iron through the owners skull, but decided that would be bad, so I went inside and bought my case of Smart Water, some wraps and some Cliff Bars. Oh, some yogurt smoothies too; I love those things. To my horror, I come out and this woman is loading her groceries in while I load mine. I couldn't help myself. "I noticed you had a Don Dwyer sticker on your van." "Yeah, we really hope he gets re-elected." "May I be so bold as to ask why?" "We really think he is protecting Maryland's values and families." (She took the bait.) "What's endangering Maryland's values and families," I ask. "The homosexual and liberal agenda." "Interesting, what's that agenda." "To change the definition of marriage, change our families, corrupt our children. " "Wow I haven't heard about this." "Exactly how do the liberals and homosexuals destroy families?" ( I can't believe she is dumb enough to still be talking to me at this point, but hey, she likes Don Dwyer.) "Homosexuals are deviant." "OK, you lost me, how does that effect your family?" "By changing marriage." "OK, you lost me again, how does that effect you?" "Well if they start marrying gays, then what next? Cat's?" "Well cat's can't give consent, so it would be pretty hard to get a cat to say I Do." "They spread that agenda to our kids." "Really, I have 40 members in my immediate family and among ten 18+ year olds, none of them is gay. None of them feel like I am a threat to their kids at all. In fact their kids think I rock." "YOU'RE GAY?" She then slams her van and burns rubber off into the distance of the parking lot like she's seen Jimmy Hoffa. Amazing.