My Resolution: Go to Bars Solo and Meet New People

theturtle

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Aug 3, 2009
572
26
I know MR is usually a place only about tech but I was hoping that my MR peers could give me some insight (and maybe some gentle pushing).

I came to the realization today that I need to make more friends. Me and a couple friends were supposed to go out to the bars tonight but they ended up having to bail. After that, my saturday night was pretty shot (as you can see from me posting on a saturday night :D). With that being said, I realized that I needed to stop being a low confidence asshat and start taking advantage of my social skills. I decided to go to bars alone and try to meet new people.

Now my question is (to everyone and also people who are located in Maryland) what type of bars do I have to go to meet nice people? I know that sounds stupid but what I mean is, I don't want to go to a bar where people drink to get trashed. I just want to make new relationships and was wondering if there were certain types of bars to go to to make those relationships. The only place I have in mind is Dog Fish Ale House. The few times I went, the environment was very chill.

Just don't want to go to a place where everybody is in a clique and then makes it impossible to meet new people.

Any advice, pep talks, tips is welcome!
 

Mac'nCheese

Suspended
Feb 9, 2010
3,753
4,973
I know MR is usually a place only about tech but I was hoping that my MR peers could give me some insight (and maybe some gentle pushing).

I came to the realization today that I need to make more friends. Me and a couple friends were supposed to go out to the bars tonight but they ended up having to bail. After that, my saturday night was pretty shot (as you can see from me posting on a saturday night :D). With that being said, I realized that I needed to stop being a low confidence asshat and start taking advantage of my social skills. I decided to go to bars alone and try to meet new people.

Now my question is (to everyone and also people who are located in Maryland) what type of bars do I have to go to meet nice people? I know that sounds stupid but what I mean is, I don't want to go to a bar where people drink to get trashed. I just want to make new relationships and was wondering if there were certain types of bars to go to to make those relationships. The only place I have in mind is Dog Fish Ale House. The few times I went, the environment was very chill.

Just don't want to go to a place where everybody is in a clique and then makes it impossible to meet new people.

Any advice, pep talks, tips is welcome!
I'm not sure if a bar is the place to make friends. How about a joining a gym or a casual sports league? I just figure most people in a bar are either: with friends already, looking to get laid or want to be alone.
 

JBazz

macrumors 6502
Apr 14, 2006
491
1
I'm not sure how you would actively try to make friends in a bar without looking creepy? Besides, you would be meeting people who on the surface only have meeting-people-in-bars in common.

I would suggest looking to see what else is going on in your area. Public libraries have all sorts of postings for activities and clubs. As do local coffee shops, etc.
 

sdilley14

macrumors 65816
Feb 8, 2007
1,235
190
Mesa, AZ
I'm not sure if a bar is the place to make friends. How about a joining a gym or a casual sports league? I just figure most people in a bar are either: with friends already, looking to get laid or want to be alone.
What he said. I would definitely suggest joining a gym. I have been going to the same gym for about 5 years now and I have met a number of great, like minded people there. I also met a girl that I ended up dating for two years there. It's a nice place to meet people while also taking part in a hobby and improving yourself. Win, win, win!

BUT, if you're truly set on going to the bars (nothing against that, I go to the bars nearly every weekend), and you are wanting to go solo, I would go with more of an intent on meeting women (not trying to hit on women and pick them up and get laid in one night). I have found that some of my best success with meeting women in public was when I was on my own...no pressure of being rejected in front of your friends, you don't have that "safety net" of a group to fade into the background with, and you don't have to score a group of girls so the numbers are even between groups. As harmless as it truly may be to go out and socialize with strangers of the same sex, it just doesn't play well in most cases.
 
Last edited:

MegamanX

macrumors regular
May 13, 2013
221
0
I'm not sure if a bar is the place to make friends. How about a joining a gym or a casual sports league? I just figure most people in a bar are either: with friends already, looking to get laid or want to be alone.
pretty much covers it exactly.

I took up cycling and ended up making some great friends threw that where I meet up for group rides.
 

kellen

macrumors 68020
Aug 11, 2006
2,362
55
Seattle, WA
Dont make it a resolution to go out to a bar, make it one to get out more.

Just from getting out you will meet people, I still do. People get hung up on going out by yourself but if you are comfortable with it, it isn't a big deal.

Go out more, to bars, join a couple clubs (whatever interests you). Be social
 

theturtle

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Aug 3, 2009
572
26
If you are trying to work on your social skills drinking probably won't be the best start.
Oh no, I have great social skills, my only issue is I have trouble breaking the ice initially. I just want to stop relying on others to the point where if they end up bailing, my day is shot.

Weird question but does anybody know where I can get information about clubs etc? I want to open up my opportunities to meet new people, make new friends. Ever since I got my first 9-5 job, i just find my opportunities dwindling.
 

Shrink

macrumors G3
Feb 26, 2011
8,931
1,598
New England, USA
I'm not sure if a bar is the place to make friends. How about a joining a gym or a casual sports league? I just figure most people in a bar are either: with friends already, looking to get laid or want to be alone.
I'm not sure how you would actively try to make friends in a bar without looking creepy? Besides, you would be meeting people who on the surface only have meeting-people-in-bars in common.

I would suggest looking to see what else is going on in your area. Public libraries have all sorts of postings for activities and clubs. As do local coffee shops, etc.
Bars are ok but if you really want to meet people, volunteer to different programs in your community.
I like the gym idea, not that you could not find an upscale bar with some nice professional people getting soused. ;)
I think these are all great suggestions. But if you really want to meet some very interesting people in warm and welcoming setting, I would try a local opium den. Nice folks, mellow environment, interesting, if sometimes irrational, conversations...and some nice naps and wicked good dreams.

:p ;) :D
 

Apple fanboy

macrumors Nehalem
Feb 21, 2012
33,761
23,158
Behind the Lens, UK
Oh no, I have great social skills, my only issue is I have trouble breaking the ice initially. I just want to stop relying on others to the point where if they end up bailing, my day is shot.

Weird question but does anybody know where I can get information about clubs etc? I want to open up my opportunities to meet new people, make new friends. Ever since I got my first 9-5 job, i just find my opportunities dwindling.
What sort of clubs are you interested in? It's best to search online in your area for things that are of interest to you, like photography or swimming for example. You will probably find you click with people more if you have common ground.
Last of all don't try to force it. If you join and tell people you are there to make new friends you could come across as a bit needy. Making friends has to be a natural process for it to be genuine.

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I would try a local opium den.

:p ;) :D
Not a coffee shop? Your going to get banned!
 

sigamy

macrumors 65816
Mar 7, 2003
1,299
2
NJ USA
Weird question but does anybody know where I can get information about clubs etc? I want to open up my opportunities to meet new people, make new friends. Ever since I got my first 9-5 job, i just find my opportunities dwindling.
Try meetup.com. It's a good resource for local meetups based around an interest or activity (hiking, biking, photography, web development, etc).

You can also start your own meetup group.

http://www.meetup.com
 

roadbloc

macrumors G3
Aug 24, 2009
8,785
211
UK
OP. Just be sure not to become that creep who hangs out in bars and clubs every moment of his spare time to creep people out with the absurdly awkward things he says and does.

Nobody likes a creep. Have fun though :)