Yay! I can now join the ranks of esteemed members of this community and spill my guts before you guys. Sounds like fun... So, I've got this friend, for our purposes, Q. Honestly, I'd give you a name, but we're both high profile enough on this campus that it would be easy enough to figure out who we are exactly if you go here (as some people do) and I don't yet want it getting back to her how I feel (or think I feel) yet. Well, I met her when I landed on the executive board of the student government. It's all great, you know, having been the first person (ever, I think) to land one of the vice presidencies as a freshman. However, it meant that the girls around were all in a higher class than me...And they were all incredibly attractive, but that's a plus! Anyway, for a long time I was never interested in Q. A lot of guys just can't get her out of their heads. She was voted hottest girl in the Senate last year, and for pretty good reason. I'm not usually attracted to East Asian girls, but I can acknowledge that she is very attractive. But we became good friends from studying in the student govt. office really late together during Spring Quarter of last year. We really got to know each other pretty well. Plus, she's just like me--Very idealistic, a populist, and really interested in fighting for students. If you knew me, you would know that that's outrageously attractive for me. She's also very smart--A Truman Fellowship finalist, in fact. So smart, pretty, passionate about things I care about, pretty good, huh? Better than ol' me could ever get, I'd argue. I would never have considered me having any kind of chance with her, but we flirt a lot. I mean, she flirts with everybody quite a bit, I'd say. I'm realistic about that. But the thing that surprises me is that I engage in this also instead of just feeling embarrassed and turning away--as I usually would. She's the first girl I can really feel comfortable doing that with. I don't know why. So the student govt. executive board went out to dinner at some swanky downtown chicago restaurant (N9NE?) on Friday to celebrate the birthdays of two of our own, including Q. It was fun, but afterwards, some of us went down to this bar for more laughs. It was a good time, Q continued to flirt with me and one of the other guys there. He's got a girlfriend, though, so he tried to keep it at a minimum Then we got onto the uncomfortable topic of whom on the executive board each of us would most like to sleep with. We all passed around the topic, I got accused of sleeping with old administrators, and then we put it to bed, no one having answered the question. I honestly wouldn't have been able to give much of an answer, because I wasn't sure. After the bar, some of us from the bar headed over to a coffee shop. As we left the bar, I put my arm around Q and she put hers around me and we walked down the street together. Now, it's a huge deal for me to feel comfortable enough to do something like that, let me tell you. But we got to talking, and she asked me if she was the person I picked from the above conversation. I said, "Absolutely." And she responded that I was just saying that, and I would have said that to any of the girls on the board. I assured her that THAT wasn't true, and we dropped the subject (or it dropped itself, really). Then, at the coffee shop, I got into the booth next to her and she looked at me and said, "oh, I'm too high maintenance for you." I agreed with her enthusiastically and described how much MORE high maintenance she was than my means could allow for. Now she turned things around and tried to convince me that she wasn't high maintenance and she asked me if I felt any differently about her after tonight...I was a bit surprised at first, but then I realized she was asking whether I thought she was any more approachable...See, she always claims about being unapproachable in guys' eyes. I told her she was still as unapproachable as ever and laughed. Then we got to talking about other stuff. Now you have to keep in mind that this was her 21st birthday, so she'd had a "bit" to drink. I mean, she could still walk in a straight line and answer foreign policy questions (for her interview) about Iraq, India, Pakistan, and the United Nations, so she was relatively coherent. After this litany of questions, she started getting kind of tired, though. She kept putting her head on my shoulder and napping, which some have told me means that she feels safe around me. I don't know how to interpret it. At the bar, she had also given me what seemed to have been a hint. She suddenly asked my friend and me whether we took looks into account when considering a person romantically. And obviously, we answered yes. She said she didn't...Which bodes well for someone like me. Then she mentioned that what really attracted her is someone who could challenge her intellectually. She followed this up with the fact that she had found no one at Northwestern who could do that. Of course, my buddy and I now made fun of her for thinking that everyone at this prestigious university was an idiot. However, I got to thinking about it...Guys, I'm a frikin' bio major. She's poli sci. Yet she was asking me for all this advice as to what she should write about in a paper about affirmative action. I gave her both sides, provided her sources, everything. She came back to me with her own arguments and I was able to debate it out with her, question her data, and show that it wasn't all that informative and explain why. I mean, I challenged her intellectually the very frikin' night before. So I don't know if she was trying to tell me something. So whatever, I figured it was in my head except that some of my friends to whom I described this said that I should go for it. Well, she was having another birthday party at the aforementioned friend's house that night. I decided I wouldn't go because I had to study and because I didn't have much by way of clean clothing at this point. From what I'm told, there were around fifty people there. I had told her earlier that I had some reading to do and I wouldn't be able to make it. Well, around 1 AM, when there were still some dozens of people there, she called me specifically and demanded that I show up. I thought it was interesting that she would remember me specifically. I don't know, maybe it's just that we're good friends and feel comfortable around each other. Maybe it doesn't mean anything more. I certainly wouldn't want to wreck our friendship or make things awkward by making a move. Maybe I'm not even interested her romantically--I dunno. I'm pretty sure I am, though, and I definitely think she's a really really great person. I'm really bad with all this crap. I've been on one date in my life and I have been in no relationships. That date wasn't really even a date, to tell you the truth. Only in the loosest sense that it was a girl and I doing something by ourselves...Dinner and a movie, but we were just friends. So, some advice for a stupid fart like me?