New Apple PDA revealed!!!

Does this whet your appetite to know more?

  • You obviously are nuts.

    Votes: 14 66.7%
  • Well it kept my eyes open for three seconds.

    Votes: 3 14.3%
  • He this is really thought provoking.

    Votes: 2 9.5%
  • Hand out the Pulitzer now!

    Votes: 2 9.5%

  • Total voters
    21

wellinformed

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Mar 5, 2002
1
0
In a home
http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/apples/
I had the chance to actually use a revolutionary new PDA from Apple. I’d tell you the how and where, but I’d have to kill you (yadda-yadda and other legal mumbo jumbo).

It is to be called the iGrannySmith, and it looks like a literal Granny Smith apple but has a hinge that opens this mouth watering gem to reveal a 3000x2000 pixel screen - packed into a mere 3.5" diagonal TFT. Plus with a 128mb RAM Gas maker SuperTurboBlaster PX2J9000 Video chip you get a palate of 17 billion colors. But first the processor – the new hydrogen powered Motorola 42000 Screamer T-Shark Platinum. Rumor is at least 7 trillion MHZ. Space should be no problem – built in 100gb internal MMC storage. External hookups are plentiful indeed; 12 firewire, 10 USB, and three video connectors. Standard 56K modem, Bluetooth and 802.11b, worldwide wireless modem standard. Thanks to the new GreekCoffeeJava programming language Apple has been able to pack very powerful commands into a small space. Using a new mind-meld technology – just think the command and the iGrannySmith responds, all this in a 2oz. Package.

Though I only have had a chance to use it for about two days so far, I fell in love with this great PDA. One great feature is the “in-your-face-scheduling-software”. In the morning after I received it I was awoke by the PDA playing Beethoven’s 5th symphony in Quad Surround sound. When I failed to respond after 3 minutes I was slapped across the face with the “extended virtual hand” 3-D wake-up feature. 3 more minutes went by and I was pulled out of bed and a loud voice said, “wake up, you are surrounded and I can’t be responsible for stray bullets that may fly”. I got to say that got me up and going. Another neat feature is the “project on wall day-at-a-glance” applet. While I was in the shower my whole day’s schedule was automatically displayed on the rear wall of the shower stall. By pointing to each appointment and tapping twice on a bar of soap I was able to move or delete any appointment – really cool.

Later in the morning I tried to start my car only to find that my battery was dead. No problem there – my trusty iG called the automobile club for me and even projected engine schematics onto the hood for the tow-truck driver with suggested repairs in four languages, nice touch. Once at work I receive a call from one of our oversees distributors in South Africa. Frustrated by not being able to speak Afrikaans I cursed this problem under my breath. Here is where the “translate-all-speech” program kicked in. Unfortunately this is a beta version and it only understands three of the four Afrikaans dialects – but the caller understood enough for me to complete the 100-million dollar deal.

Later still, near the end of the day a co-worker was in my office discussing a new packaging concept which we could not agree on. I had almost forgotten the very helpful “negotiate-between-two-parties-Pro” software – also in Beta testing with this version. But needless to say we worked out our differences and now have 10 new packaging ideas ready – not enough space here to explain.

There are a few other software gems included such as “Personal-Shrink-Live”, “Baby-Sitter-3.0”, “Pilot-this-777-jet-please”, “Make-me-Einsten-now-1.0”, and something called, “Repair-any-broken-machine-ASAP”.

Well I have revealed enough. I will let you know about more features as I use them. Pricing is sketchy at this point but expect something in the $50-$75 range at first until demand grows.
 

blackpeter

macrumors 6502a
Aug 14, 2001
919
0
I can't wait 'till the new - - - iBeen Done Before Joke Blocker.

You see, this is another iApp that sits between yourself and any online message board and blocks out any rehashed joke that's been done over, let's say, 500 times.

Too bad it's still in it's testing phase. Such an iApp would have spared us from yet another yawner like this one.
 

IndyGopher

macrumors 6502a
Nov 3, 2001
782
1
Indianapolis, IN
4 lines for a .sig is considered the boundaries of etiquette, and even then any .sig longer than the message to which it is attached will draw heat. THAT was just way over the line... When Arn asked us not to post messages that were meaningless to cut down on wasted bandwidth, did you not think something like that counted? Also on that topic, and not aimed at any one person, you don't have to quote an entire message to comment on just a couple points... learn to edit. We read it the first time, just quote the bits you're referring to.. that's the point of quoting. You don't insert the entire Constitution to point out a line or two from the preamble.
 

mischief

macrumors 68030
Aug 1, 2001
2,920
0
Santa Cruz Ca
It's that nasty baled Mexi brown stuff........

BC buds are DDT free and all organic. This has the flare of that nasty brown Mota that comes baled so tight you have to peel it apart in flakes. This Gunge (unworthy Gange) is usually mixed with Meth or something more evil to take the muddy, thinking-through-pudding feel out.
 

krossfyter

macrumors 601
Jan 13, 2002
4,297
0
secret city
Re: It's that nasty baled Mexi brown stuff........

Originally posted by mischief
BC buds are DDT free and all organic. This has the flare of that nasty brown Mota that comes baled so tight you have to peel it apart in flakes. This Gunge (unworthy Gange) is usually mixed with Meth or something more evil to take the muddy, thinking-through-pudding feel out.

i was informed that bc is the most potent..... could be wrong though.


nasty mexican...aye!
 

mischief

macrumors 68030
Aug 1, 2001
2,920
0
Santa Cruz Ca
I can confirm: BC green is da bomb.

The little town I grew up in in BC is a 20 minute skiff ride from an Island called Texada. Texada Gold was "Best In The World" in Amsterdam for like 3 years running.

Other perrenial BC favourites:

Master Kush

Northern Lights

Alaskan Thunderf**k (no lie this is an actual variety)

Blackberry

But, of course a BC native living in Santa Cruz knows Nothing of such things .................:D ;) :cool: :p :rolleyes:
 

Kid Red

macrumors 65816
Dec 14, 2001
1,379
87
Re: Re: It's that nasty baled Mexi brown stuff........

Originally posted by krossfyter



i was informed that bc is the most potent..... could be wrong though.


nasty mexican...aye!
Been a LONG while, but Krypto or Jamacan Red was the strongest in my neck of the woods.
 

mischief

macrumors 68030
Aug 1, 2001
2,920
0
Santa Cruz Ca
One basic rule.

No substances that can't be visually identified as plant tissue.....and even then, only stuff I recognize immediately. No powders, no liquids. Nothing involving solvents or poppies.
 

graydecember

macrumors member
Jan 2, 2002
64
0
mescaline

I'd like to try mescaline or ayahuasca, if anyone knows anything about it, contact me. I was a straight-edger (vegan, too, still, more or less) until about oct 99 when a girl seduced me with a little red wine- now I drink about every six weeks or so and my roommate will go see a film *stoned* on long island ice teas... then take night drives in the car listening to Steve Roach or Rapoon at top volumes. I'm essentially on another planet after having about 1 drink.

I've never done any other drug than alcohol (well, caffeine I suppose, but not even nicotine), but I would lke to try one of the powerful, spiritual *natural* psychedelics to have a beautiful revelation (like in spear of destiny... well, maybe not).
 

abe

macrumors member
Jan 8, 2002
60
0
I don't need an Apple PDA, I need a faster (MUCH FASTER) MacOS X finder! Apple should concentrate on that.
 
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