Ohhhh boy have I got a girl story for you guys.

lamina

macrumors 68000
Original poster
Mar 9, 2006
1,754
41
Niagara
Alright. I'm currently in Seoul, teaching English.

I met this girl in November of 2008. We've been on and off since then, with things getting more and more ridiculous as time goes on. The first time she got really upset with me was when we were on the subway. I was reading a sign, because I was trying to make out the Korean. There were no other girls (or people for that matter) in the direction I was looking. I look over, and see she's clearly angry. I ask why. She says it's because I wasn't looking at her.

I should have known.

So, big fights every week or so, but there was always something that was pulling us together. I dated several other girls while I was with her, but she was always my main focus. Believe it or not, I started to love her, and I think I (maybe) still do today. We had fights many times, she saw other people for a bit, so did I, but I kept mine secret, until one night when she blocked my number from her phone and told me how awesome it was that I couldn't contact her anymore. I lost it. I told her all about the girls I had dated, the 18 year old in university, the bellydancer, the one who works for Apple Korea (no joke). She suddenly became a little kitty cat, asking if she could come and see me. I made a travel plan to Japan that night, when her and I were supposed to be planning a Christmas break trip together. I went on the trip to Japan, and loved it.

So yeah, fights about me not being able to read her mind, not being able to travel to North Africa with her... etc.

Fast forward to about 2 months ago. She asks me if I love her. I say yes. She says "Well... if you really love me and want to be with me forever, get a tattoo of my name on your body."

She wasn't kidding.

So, I figure... I'm leaving Korea in about 2 months, so I'll just play her game and say yes so I can be with her until I go. We made a reservation for me to get the tattoo yesterday. Uh oh. My neighbour is an art major, so I got her to write her name on my arm (in Korean) in a pretty convincing way. I told her I had got it. She was thrilled. I kept it covered with a layer of gauze and a layer of paper.

Things went swimmingly yesterday, until she says "Let's have a shower together!" She had asked me to see the tattoo, but every time I reached to take off the gauze, I winced and acted as though I was in pain. She would quickly tell me to stop, and tell me to wait a few days to show her. Great, I thought.

The steam from the shower weakened the surgical tape I used. She could see the ink under the gauze. So, I told her I'd show her in the dark, and made up some weird excuse like the light would bleach the new tattoo. I turn the lights off, show her, and she's pretty convinced it's real. Then she gets a call from the tattoo parlour, asking why I hadn't shown up for my appointment.

I was caught.

After that, she asked me for the truth. I told her it was fake, and that I went to all that trouble because I just wanted to be with her. She FLIPS out, starts hitting me, pulling my hair, scratching me everywhere. She even went so far as to try to reach down and start wrenching my manhood.

She freaks out, takes everything that's hers, and makes a dash for the door. I stop her for a couple of hours, and we talked, everything seemed fine. She eventually said some stuff to me that really upset me (she knows just what buttons to push, and loves to see me upset about something she said). I freaked, dumped some water on her, and told her to get the F out. I grabbed all her stuff and threw it outside my apartment door. Then I looked at her, soaked with water, and I felt awful. I took her back in and dried her off, and dried her clothes. I was so furious at this whole situation, but I truly felt guilty for throwing her out like she's street trash.

So, she finally leaves. Goes back home, a few angry texts were exchanged. I turned my phone off and went to bed. Today, she was with her friend, and I asked her if she would come over afterward. No reply, as I had expected. I call her, she's flipping out, asking me if I had forgotten about yesterday. I tell her no, I didn't forget, but I wasn't going to accept it.

So, for the past month or so, it has been her ultimatum that I either get a permanent tattoo of her name, or we break up. She's got plans to leave to study abroad.

We met tonight at a park near her place. She gives me 2 more ultimatums. Either I get a permanent tattoo, or a temporary one. I agreed to the temporary one. I told her I'd get something temporary so we can be together before she leaves. Whatever, I don't really care. I just want to be with her.

She retracts those ultimatums and says the only way she'll be with me is if I get a permanent one. She says that if I get a permanent one, she will marry me and we can move to Canada together to start her life. I told her that I don't want to interfere with her plans to study. It's not that I want us to be apart; I just really want what's best for her. Again she asks "How can you love me and say that?"

So that's my story. She refuses to come to my place unless I get this tattoo. I obviously won't get it. Hell I wouldn't even get a temporary one. Well, maybe henna, but that's about it.


When I had told her about my other girls, I thought that was going to be the end of it. I thought I'd never hear from her again, and I was happy about it at that time. I had just booked my trip to Japan, got a sweet pair of shoes, and a haircut, so I was feeling pretty good at that time.

I want to know if any of you guys have been in similar situations. I told her that if I asked anyone else their opinion about this situation, they would definitely agree that she's asking too much. She doesn't agree with that.

I already know what some of you are going to say... that we're both psycho, and we have only ourselves to blame, especially me, because I've chosen to put up with her for so long. Our relationship is a very physical one, but there are also things that we say and do for each other that make us feel good too.

Sorry for the long post. I just thought you guys would get a kick out of the story, and I'm wondering about what advice you would give me? When we're fighting or apart, I feel empty and useless inside. But when we're together, it's like stepping on shards of broken glass trying not to upset her. There is something about her that I seem to be hooked on. Yes, she's gorgeous. We're both 25 years old.

So, what are your thoughts or words of advice? Thanks for reading all this. :eek:
 

Doju

macrumors 68000
Jun 16, 2008
1,511
0
Wow.

I know you seem to love her, but she is crazy. Crazy. Not worth your time.

Wow, if she's this crazy at this point in the relationship, a decade or two into the marriage... I pity you, sir. The second a girl demands I do something to my body for her, I refuse and she continues DEMANDING I do it, is the second I dump her so quickly her head spins.
 

harleygold

macrumors regular
Nov 1, 2009
147
0
Anderson
truthfully you're no better than her. Yes she's a nutcase, but for you to accept her ultimatums makes you not so smart either. Me thinks you should end it all together...seems more childish than realistic. Move on...
 

pilotError

macrumors 68020
Apr 12, 2006
2,240
4
Long Island
Your Addicted to crazy! I love them Nutty girls!

Seriously, a permanent tattoo? Cut her loose, she'll know where that line stands and she'll be back...

The Nutty ones are usually mellow out after their first job in the real world. If they don't, there's bigger issues there.
 

huntnboy04

macrumors regular
Apr 11, 2007
160
5
MI, USA
Our relationship is a very physical one,... There is something about her that I seem to be hooked on.
There, you said it yourself. True love or just lust? If you want to live the rest of life as if you are stepping on glass shards when you're around her, go for it. My advice, sever all contact immediately and forever.
 

macfem

macrumors member
Jan 11, 2010
87
0
Well adjusted people do not ask you to prove your love or comply with 'proof'...yikes, sounds like damaged goods.
 

spork183

macrumors 6502a
Jul 30, 2006
880
0
So, big fights every week or so... I made a travel plan to Japan that night, when her and I were supposed to be planning a Christmas break trip together...

So, I figure... I'll just play her game and say yes so I can be with her until I go.

She even went so far as to try to reach down and start wrenching my manhood.

I freaked, dumped some water on her, and told her to get the F out. I grabbed all her stuff and threw it outside my apartment door. Then I looked at her, soaked with water, and I felt awful. I took her back in...

Today, she was with her friend, and I asked her if she would come over afterward.
I tell her no, I didn't forget, but I wasn't going to accept it.

Whatever, I don't really care. I just want to be with her.

I already know what some of you are going to say... that we're both psycho, and we have only ourselves to blame, especially me, because I've chosen to put up with her for so long.
OP--read over the snippets above and tell me how this is not gonna end with your pet rabbit on the stove? Move, in the middle of the night. Change your number and quit your job. Avoid all known associates until she fixates on someone else. At some point, you'll see a poor sucker on the news with her name as a permanent tat. Be glad it isn't you. Ain't nobody that good in bed. Run away.