Petition: Ask Donald Trump to Release The Johnson

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Robisan, Mar 4, 2016.

  1. Robisan macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2014
    #1
    This seems like a worthy endeavor...

    Dear The Donald:

    During the GOP debate on March 3, you promised America, in regard to an alleged lack of stature of your male reproductive organ, that "There is no problem. I guarantee it."

    Given that the entirety of your policies, both foreign and domestic, depend on your ability to swagger around with a big dick, we, the Undersigned, demand that you produce hard evidence that your legally binding "guarantee" to the American public is valid.

    As acceptable evidence we would accept a Tweet from your personal account of credible full-length selfies and dick pics, in addition to the sworn first-hand oral testimony of both Chris "Ball Gag" Christie and Mitt "Bent Knees" Romney. Alternatively, we suggest you simply seize the initiative and expose your schlong on live national television during the next GOP debate. (This seems like a natural progression of these events in any case.)

    Mr. Trump, if you want our trust and our vote, show the world you've GOT as big a dick as you ARE.

    Please, The Donald: Release The Johnson!

    America's future demands no less...than eight inches, with proportional girth.​
     
  2. FieldingMellish Suspended

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2010
    #2
    There was once a king, said to the queen, you need balls to be the king. Said the queen to the king, you need 12 inches to be the ruler.
     
  3. Thomas Veil macrumors 68020

    Thomas Veil

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2004
    Location:
    OBJECTIVE reality
    #3
    We're obviously talking way past John Holmes territory...
     
  4. FieldingMellish Suspended

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2010
  5. thermodynamic Suspended

    thermodynamic

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Location:
    USA
    #5
    It's really sad how devolved America has become.
     
  6. steve knight Suspended

    steve knight

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2009
    #6
    Well the desperation to find something good in the Donald has hit A new low.
     
  7. FieldingMellish Suspended

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2010
    #7
    It appears a Trump win would result in dicktatorship.
     

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