Petition: Ask Donald Trump to Release The Johnson

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by Robisan, Mar 4, 2016.

  1. Robisan macrumors 6502

    Jan 19, 2014
    This seems like a worthy endeavor...

    Dear The Donald:

    During the GOP debate on March 3, you promised America, in regard to an alleged lack of stature of your male reproductive organ, that "There is no problem. I guarantee it."

    Given that the entirety of your policies, both foreign and domestic, depend on your ability to swagger around with a big dick, we, the Undersigned, demand that you produce hard evidence that your legally binding "guarantee" to the American public is valid.

    As acceptable evidence we would accept a Tweet from your personal account of credible full-length selfies and dick pics, in addition to the sworn first-hand oral testimony of both Chris "Ball Gag" Christie and Mitt "Bent Knees" Romney. Alternatively, we suggest you simply seize the initiative and expose your schlong on live national television during the next GOP debate. (This seems like a natural progression of these events in any case.)

    Mr. Trump, if you want our trust and our vote, show the world you've GOT as big a dick as you ARE.

    Please, The Donald: Release The Johnson!

    America's future demands no less...than eight inches, with proportional girth.​
  2. FieldingMellish Suspended

    Jun 20, 2010
    There was once a king, said to the queen, you need balls to be the king. Said the queen to the king, you need 12 inches to be the ruler.
  3. Thomas Veil macrumors 68020

    Thomas Veil

    Feb 14, 2004
    OBJECTIVE reality
    We're obviously talking way past John Holmes territory...
  4. FieldingMellish Suspended

    Jun 20, 2010
  5. thermodynamic Suspended


    May 3, 2009
    It's really sad how devolved America has become.
  6. steve knight macrumors 68020

    steve knight

    Jan 28, 2009
    Well the desperation to find something good in the Donald has hit A new low.
  7. FieldingMellish Suspended

    Jun 20, 2010
    It appears a Trump win would result in dicktatorship.

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